Moving to Spain on a whim is most important thing I’ve ever done for myself. I knew long ago that I wanted to learn languages. I learned to imagine it as fleeting and futile dream with little benefit to my lifestyle. At any rate, Spanish was never a part of my fulfillment process. But it is beautiful and I’ve become comfortable with it. I delved so blindly into this.
I appreciate the 24hr pharmacies here. There’s one on nearly every block and you don’t need a doctor’s prescription. The pharmacists are kind and trusting. I’ve refilled my [empty] American prescriptions with no issue and without the expense of a doctor’s visit. They speak warmly and slowly so I can understand– as do most shopkeepers. And tattoo artists.
I see what culture shock is about. Night life doesn’t begin before 9pm. Afternoon lasts until 8. The luxuries of home come at a way more affordable price. €1 per beer. €5 for a pack of American Spirits. No tax calculations necessary. Drugs are accessible as hell. Other luxuries simply aren’t available here. I’ve confirmed and nourished the panxesuality of myself. I took my top off on a Mediterranean shore. I had my emotions crushed and rejuvenated several times. I feel inexplicable comfort that I had this time at all.
I return home in three days and I’m sad. I found a love that I never expected in individuals, humanity and culture. This will not be the last time I live overseas. I’m going to finish school, although I need to wait another year before I can afford it. I refuse to let this inspiration be crushed again. I’m finally seeing a love for myself. I look forward with optimism.
Living in fear is silly. Almost everyone you meet has a subconscious glimmer of your best interest in mind, even if it’s not what you want for yourself. And you for them. Don’t become naive. There are major exceptions. You have power. I feel myself getting pretentious so I will stop preaching what I’ve learned to help myself continue in this world. I want to give a hug to every person I’ve encountered since I began collecting sentient experiences. I think of you. You make me human.
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