Hi!!! I know I've been basically MIA for a long time and some words about it are long overdue so I'll try to keep it short even if it's been a very complex and hard time.
My mom's health has been bad for over a year and, while my dad tries to help, he also works and he's out from 5 am to 6pm so I had to manage most of the house chores and stuff for the best part of last year and all of the current one.
Last month things got worse, apparently this was all because of a virus and she had to be hospitalised in the city an hour away from ours so I had to do lots of back and forth to bring her stuff and try to keep her positive but I suspect she had also been depressed for a long time so it was hard.
She's back home now but far from healed, she has weakness and lots of pills and I think her depression is getting stronger the worst she feels and my own isn't much better so, that is.
It's a very very hard moment for my family and I had to stop studying and writing and I only manage to cut bits of time to work on chunks of easy cosplays to work with the association I belong to, which gets me some escape and sometimes a bit of money, but I haven't been able to do much and I'm very sad and fatigued and all.
And that's the situation. I'm not asking for anything, I appreciate some well wishes if you feel like it and know I love all my friends from here on Tumblr as I always had and I hope you're all alright and all.
To the people who read my stories, my apologies for being unable to update any of them, I sincerely wished I could come back sooner but things got worse instead of better, I'm sorry and thank you for your support and patience.
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For @26ja! I'm super sorry I wasn't able to post any new chapters of the fic in a long while but last Christmas I did half a rewatch of the Fantaghirò movies and a little ficlet came out of it.
It spawned from some thoughts during the second movie, where it's probably set or it should be, it's just a dialogue actually, kind of a missing moment or canon divergence based on the fact Romualdo seemed often disappointed and upset with Fantaghirò as a princess but he also seemed sad/upset when she acted as a knight and it's so weird because at the beginning of the third he's much happier, both are, even if she's not being a princess-queen at all and training guards in male clothes and short hair so, uh, I don't know, I think they should have addressed this earlier. Or they did in between the two.
You know, I rewrote this introduction twice and it makes less sense every time, so just read the thing and you can tell me what you think of it and what came out of this, especially since it's incomplete so maybe I can finish it with your input. Don't feel pressed, just give me your thoughts as always.
Anyway, that's it:
«I'm disappointed you never listen» he sighed, sitting down.
«You've always known me as this» she replied with a smile «Nothing changed, this is the person you met»
«I met a knight who could do this» was his rebuttal «Proud and arrogant, but we were at war, as men we were supposed to try to intimidate each other. Yet the war is over and you are no man...»
«So this is your isssue? That I am no man?» she almost laughed.
He looked up at her, eyes severe yet features pained «You are to behave like the princess you are, this is what our people expects»
«I was never good with being what people expected me to be, ask my sisters» she shrugged and threw a look towards the other room, where the two were counting and examining the still incoming wedding gifts.
He got up and followed her gaze «You have to try, that's the right thing to do»
At that, she turned. She didn't like what he just said, the whole conversation felt wrong to her. «Is that what you think?» was a much needed question.
He pursed his lips, then nodded «I do. You are a princess, a queen, you can't be a knight as well»
«I'm showing you that I can. This month, alone, I caught more bandits than half the army»
«While neglecting preparations for our wedding» he pointed out.
«There are plenty of people working on it, I know nothing of this all, I am more useful to the kingdom doing what I know to do»
«Fantaghirò, you are not a knight, the Count of Valdoca doesn't exist» he said, and there was something in his exasperation that made her almost miss his next words «You are a lady just as I am a king, this is who we must be»
«You're wrong about that» she replied, anger mounting «I am a knight, I am as good as fighting as you are, the Count of Valdoca was me all along, why can't you see it?»
«He was a fake, a ruse, a means to an end» his voice changed lightly at that, a not-so subtle hurt spilling out a think crack «This is not...» he shook his head and turned, not finishing the sentence.
«Look at me» she pushed his cheek so he'd turn to her again «Look at my eyes» she urged.
He did, and opened his mouth but she didn't give him the time to speak.
«I am the one you fell in love with. I am both Fantaghirò and the Count of Valdoca. But at times like this...» it was her turn for the voice to falter, but she pushed on «At times like this I feel that you love the Count more than the princess, even though...»
«My love, no» he whispered, caressing her face «I looked for you all along, since the day you almost shot me with an arrow and I saw your eyes in the woods»
«But then you met me as a knight. You truly got to know me, my personality and values, as the Count. You actully fell for me when I was that knight»
«Except you are not. I'm sorry you feel this way, I'll do my best to correct that if I must»
«What is there to correct?» she interrupted him «Tell me, what is it that you feel you're truly doing wrong?»
Romualdo's face softened in sorrow «I don't make you feel as loved as you are. I adore and cherish you, you're my wife-to-be and you shouldn't feel any less than that»
«That's wrong too» she scoffed «I never intended it as such. I know you love me. I just wish you understood me better. And yourself as well»
His brows furrowed, and he let her go «What do you mean?»
She shook her head «You don't know that you look at me differently when you catch me in armor. That you have this expression of bliss for just a moment, but then you hide it under disappointment and sigh when you have to scold me»
«That's because you shouldn't run around fighting bandits, I am supposed to cherish and protect you, but you don't allow me»
Fantaghirò rose her chin in defiance «Is my own strength a problem to you?»
Was that it? He felt lessened? Couldn't he accept that his fiancè was just as capable as he was, could it be that he fell into the same thinking as anyone else?
«I admire it, you know I do. Yet, you shouldn't have to use it anymore»
This answer, if possible, frustrated her even more. He loved that side of her, but wanted to snuff it out, making them both unhappy.
«But I like to! In fact, I feel myself the most when I am in armor, sword in hand and on horseback, like that's who I was always supposed to be!» she exclaimed at last.
«You were born a princess, though, and a queen you are now. As I am a king, we were born as such and this is the life we should lead»
No, that was plain wrong. He was wrong and he knew it, and he was the same man who thought to end a decades-old war without shedding more blood, even if that was how everyone else did, so she knew he was capable of being daring for the right reasons.
«You already said that, and I wonder who are you telling this to: yourself or me?»
He paused, eyes wide «To us both,» he admitted at last «I wish things could be as you want them to, but they are not. We have a duty to our lands, there are rules we are expected to follow for everyone's good»
«I was never one to bow to rules I find stupid» she pushed on «Can't you see that what we both want and need aligns? Why should we stick to what others dictate is right, if we feel otherwise? We are the royals of this land, if anyone can change the rules, it's us»
He shook his head «The people will never accept it»
«Not now, maybe, but in time. And even if they don't, who are they to criticize the way we live our love? It's a matter between you and me. I am Fantaghirò, queen of this land and Count of Valdoca, both at once. And you, you are my love, a king with a kind heart who loves the part of me no one else did. Don't deprive me of this love just because you fear others would not approve»
Why....why do I like the Loki x Elsa ship? Why is it cute, this should be illegal XD
Also um...any particular place I can find your other names for Jay? Is it in the fanfic, or no?
Sorry I'm distracted and tired. Thank you and take care!
Oooh, you found that! The Loki/Elsa ship is one of those rarepairs/crackships that make more and more sense once you put your mind at it, I love it more that I can express, but...
It's the parallels, the grief of wanting to be a perfect child but knowing they can't be, it's the feeling they have to be the responsible sibling to their reckless ones, it's the despised ice powers within and yet the fascination with magic nonetheless, it's the hurt of being othered and outside the norm, the fear that letting others in will hurt, and much more.
But it's also the contrast: the pain made her kind but made him mad, the light her and darkness him, the way he desperately tried to be understood and being unable to while she blocked out all communication out of grief and fear, his pain turning to rage while hers leads her to run away...
There's a solace they could find in each other, the way they could finally be seen and understood, the way the could make each other better and happier, they could build a place to rest or travel together anywhere or both...
I have many feelings about the Loki/Elsa ship, unfortunately I have lots irl to do today but I could write about them for hours lol.
The reblog with the expanded names post is here, on my main blog, I forgot I accidentally updated it on that one:
💬 2 🔁 25 ❤️ 94 · As I said it could happen, I’m expanding the post:
Ben: Benjamin Florian de Villeneuve sounds nice, but I think it’s sup
Due to some irl things I wasn't able to get to the point Jay's full name is included in the fic because I had to go on hiatus for all my writing, I hope I'll be able to reprise it someday but I don't know when.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Surprise, I guess!
Before you get too excited, I'm not fully back at all. This is an old bit I had already half-written I really hope you all will like, just to say I still love this story and I appreciate all the love I received for it.
I promise, this isn't abandoned at all, none of my beloved stories are, and I hope I can write and share more someday.
do fic readers know that their comments actually influence the course of the story sometimes? i don't mean in a "you need to write it this way because i say so 😡" type of comment, i mean when people are asking questions or really engaging with the plot and the themes in the comments they sometimes bring up things that i didn't even think of, or dig into parts of the story that i've overlooked, or get really interested/fixated on something i was going to just kind of glance over--and it has me going 'oh wait that's actually really interesting, that's a good point' and fully adding or tweaking or changing things about the story going forward. i'm literally adding an entire additional chapter to something right now because someone's comment had me like "oh i didn't dig into that as much as i could have." you have impact!
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You may have noticed I've been absent from this site as well as my writing, I have to admit I had burnout I am trying to recover from but I also have to manage my irl stuff at the same time so it's been a real challenge.
For the moment being, I have gone back to writing in my mothertongue a story that a friend and I started over 12 years ago, that's the only thing I'm working on at the moment and the only I can right now.
It's helping me a lot and I hope someday to publish it and some of you will Google translate it and like it and understand why it's so important for me.
Until then, I wish you can understand my need to announce a serious hiatus for my English writing.
A story about an immortal falling in love not with a teenager (we have enough of these) or a beautiful young woman, but with a mature woman or one who was never pretty in her life. A story in which he doesn't look young either (who said only youth is attractive?) and young women don't seem that good to him because they lack that light of life experience.
Maybe a story about a vampire who was turned while in his late forties pushing fifty who falls for the mid-fifties housewife with a terribly abusive husband she can't get away from and whose children are already gone from home and won't help her (they're too far, she was good at hiding until they left and it's easier now that they can't see, she's happy she saved them...), but a vampire is already damned, what's some adultery and murder to him? Or charming his way through the scum's workplace to find the right evidence of tax fraud so the shit can go to prison and she can file a quick divorce, the vamp doesn't mind...
Or a story about a deity who is tired of the world and meets this elderly woman who addresses them with kindness and reminds them the world has its ups and downs but love is everywhere, she knew it when her husband was alive and she knows it now, so the deity falls for her so hard and the pain of knowing their time can finish any minute rekindles their own love for the world. (and maybe they'll do their damn best to try to turn her immortal, she'd be one great goddess of wisdom, if only she wanted to...)
Perhaps a story about a demon who trades in souls and meets this short mafia boss lady who's so smart and cunning she managed to stay afloat in the underground for forty-something years after her father's death (no one dares to say her real age) and she's hardened and the demon thought it'd be easy to make her handle that tired soul that lost so much in all those little wars but no, she's willful and the way she smiles, crow's feet becoming so deep they look like war marks, makes the demon want to give his nonexistent soul to her instead.
What about a fairy former king (he long left his place to his son, he ruled far too long and it was time to step down) who doesn't bother to look young (who cares at that point?). He meets this spinster who brews the best beer ever and they say she's a witch, but it's just that her knowledge of plants rivals that of the fairy king himself, so he keeps challenging her, and the more she wins the more he thinks the marks of age and the ill-placed curves of her body and all the other things that make humans think she's ugly are instead the most wonderful things ever, that he found a treasure, but she's too wary and wise to fall for his promises, no matter how genuine they are, until...
Or even about a woman who was never told she was beautiful or even pretty, who felt out of place and undervalued her whole life long and maybe mistaken for one of her brothers from time to time, goes fishing alone one day and accidentally catches a merman (she's bulky and strong enough to hoist him up alone). The merman had seen women like her, with skin baked by the sun and scars from scuffles, often on pirate ships. Still, none had that kindness and frankness in her, so when she sets him free he's so fascinated he follows her home, and every time she goes out at sea he approaches her and tells her stories she never heard of and listens, really listens to her. He wishes so hard he could convince her to follow him down the sea without her thinking he's trying to drown her and even more so that she believes when he says he thinks she's the most incredible person he's ever met.
And if there was a story about a lawyer, who is tired because she fought all her life for everyone but herself (her career was her only pride), and she lost sight of a world beyond law books and grey buildings. Somehow, on her first vacation in far too long, she meets this forest spirit, old as balls, who looks like a tired grandpa who is ill because of pollution. She vows to save his forest from the industrial nightmare up the valley and while they work on it he falls for her so hard and yeah, she for him too, but his appearance depends on the health of the forest itself so he gets more and more handsome while she gets older and more tired and insecure until she doesn't go back in the forest anymore. But the fact she saved it granted her a wish she didn't collect so the spirit cashes it for her and shares his life with her. And maybe she's upset because he got handsome but she stays as normal as she ever was even if the wish makes her seem healthier, but the spirit finds her so perfect she learns to love herself at last.
OMG, thanks so much for posting that outline. I love your idea, and its certainly worth the wait. I have done my own AU fix it and am just about finished - some of the ideas were similar to what I did in mine so I guess great minds think alike? I can't wait to read more of yours when the time comes - its really brilliant. If interested in mine, heres the link - its super long and I'm not done yet https://archiveofourown.org/works/59167075
Ooh, yes, I started to read it, but you're so fast at writing I can't keep up and I am a little behind with the chapters lol
It's a pretty great fic you've been putting together, a lovely development while staying close enough to the original, I'm enjoying it a lot <3
I'm a huge fan and I just have to ask - do you plan to dive back into the Entrust the Long Moon fanfics? I love, love, love what you did with the crossover between TTEOM and LBFAD. I've reread it countless times!
I totally understand if it's something you want to drop, but I am selfish and I have to ask you anyway!
Hi!!! It was so nice to receive this message, thank you!
Well, the good news is that I rarely drop a story for good and when I do either I delete it or mark it as complete, and it's not the case with this series. I have drafts and the whole plot planned and even some chapters half-written (including a follow-up of the horse extra chapter), so I'll definitely come back to it.
The bad... Right now, I can't work on it properly, and since I hate to publish sub-par or rushed work, I fear the wait will be long. Sorry.
But I have had fics I kept working on for years (one of my oldest ones turns 10 years old in a few days) and I think this will be one of those because I love it so much and people like you showed so much appreciation for it, much more than I expected so I'm very attached to it.
Also, I'm not sure whether you read the outline (which I published when I didn't think I'd actually write the fic LOL) or you're interested in it, so just in case, you can find it here Part 1 and Part 2. But, of course, there are things I added and will add to it, and possible changes too, so there will be more in the actual fic ;)
There is this idea too, which I definitely won't start writing anytime soon, but maybe you may like this too ;P
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I had the worst idea. And with that, I mean one of my usual ideas about Descendants that can explain things and make me sad at the same time.
Belle is dead.
No, okay, that's not canon, or it may be in a certain way, just listen to me for a second.
She doesn't make sense, both she and Beast act and reason in ways that have nothing to do with their cartoon (or even live-action) counterparts, that's easy to see.
Now, we can retcon the whole franchise and simply make her disappear, let's say she died when Ben was little (just like Adam's mother in the live-action...) and Beast half-repeated history out of grief (bad temper, seclusion, not listening to anyone...), so he went a little back on his worst habits and let Fairy Godmother and Leah make all sort of important decisions in his place. See, fixed. Disney should hire me lol.
Or, for a more complicated theory: the one we see isn't the real Belle. Because she died and no one really knows save for the one(s) who brought her back from the dead. But it's notorious that people who come back from death don't quite get back right, no? So, Belle is different because she can't be the same.
Even more complicated? Hell yeah. See, in some versions of the tale, Belle is a changeling, a fairy child left in the cradle of the real youngest daughter of the merchant in place of his almost-dead one. (in some other versions she's the daughter of the merchant with a fairy, sometimes the mom is the very fairy who cursed the Beast, but that's not what we're talking about here). So, what if the real Belle is the one we see in Descendants? Think about it: fairy Belle dies but baby Prince Ben needs a mom, the kingdom needs a High Queen, and the Beast will go out of his mind if he loses the love of his life and Auradon isn't stable enough for that, so the fairies simply switch them back again, the human Belle with the changeling. No one sees the difference, or they call it postpartum stress or whatever, but she is different in all those subtle ways.
Ben never finds out.
(Well, until Mal figures it out somehow. Or Hades, very likely for the second one)
when do you think you’ll get out of writer’s block?
Funny, it almost seems like you think this was somewhat planned by me, or that such things have an expiration date.
I'm in burnout, okay? I had to take care of many things in the past year (my health and my parents' health and other issues that piled up like there was no end to them...) and I'm exhausted and still trying to do as much as possible. I should have gotten my degree six months ago and yet my thesis is nowhere near finished and since my future depends on it, maybe that's my priority right now.
I'm tired and I want to cry every day and I wish I knew when I'll be back to normal but I don't know and this doesn't help.
tried writing a fanfic based off yours, where I think the reactions the girls would have if they saw(especially usagi) dad might having a battle with AFO on television
(also same anon)
Link it through the Ao3 system, it'll be easier to find for others too. You just have to mark your fic as "inspired by" in the settings and put the link to DoMaH ;)
Also, it's an honour to receive fics of my fic <3
It needs some polishing, but it conveys a lot of feelings, that's nice.
I got a question, so do you ever take fan’s suggestions in I’m here in the name of the moon? And will you ever continue it?
not tryna rush btw rest and take your time
Sure, if they fit the way I imagined the merged universe, I'm open to ideas.
About continuing it, I am having some issues irl and a huge writer's block/burnout ongoing, I'm trying to fight it, but I can't make any promises on when I'll be back in decent shape.
That said, go ahead and send whatever you had in mind. Who knows, maybe new ideas will pull me out the block?
Hello, could I ask when is DoM(a)h chapter 45/44 coming? I’m sorry if this rushed you
(also I thought of some scenario where Pluto comes in and says Dead Scream, and Deku and maybe some others(like Bakugou if he was just scrolling around the flower shop) was just wondering if their powers are based off planets, then how is Pluto a planet?)
(Also I’m the one who asked that other post when Is DoM(a)H chapter 44 coming as anon but I didn’t wanna be anonymous but I couldn’t unsend a anonymous post, sorry)
No worries, and sorry it took me some time to reply, I had some irl stuff ongoing.
So, Pluto is a planet on the same basis Ceres, Pallas, Juno and Vesta are, the denomination is "dwarf planet", which, uh, has the word "planet" in there, so Pluto is a planet. And even if it wasn't, the Moon is not a planet but a satellite too, stars are not planets either, yet those have Sailor Senshi connected to them in canon.
In the Sailor Moon verse, the only requirement for a Senshi to be one is that there's a celestial body connected to a Starseed within an individual able to unlock its powers. Technically speaking, since the Golden Crystal is Mamoru/Endymion's Starseed connected to Earth, Tuxedo Kamen is a Sailor Senshi too, although he doesn't share the traits and naming the others have.
(In my mind, Chibiusa's Senshi title should change when she becomes an adult/full Senshi because she's the heir of both Earth and Moon and her Starseed, the Pink Moon Crystal, is connected to the system the two create. But that's more headcanon than else)
That said, the scene in which Pluto will show up is half-planned already and will mostly follow canon, but there will be some character from BnHA to witness it.
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so, when is DoM(a)H chapter 45(or 44 if we aren’t counting the poll “chapter” coming? I’m not trying to rush you I just wanna ask, also I thought of a scenario where Pluto comes in and is like “Death Scream” while deku is fighting with the other sailor scouts(and maybe some others come and join like Bakugou) and they are wondering how the sailor scouts aren’t questioning that Pluto isn’t a planet but how is their a sailor Pluto?(I know this doesn’t make any sense)
I'm going to answer the Pluto bit later on (to the other ask) but, in all honesty, I'm not really sure about when I'll be able to update.
I have had some irl stuff to go through and when I sit to write nothing good comes out, I have been thinking of altering some planned plot points but I'd have to rewatch/reread the materials, and I don't have time for it right now.
That said, I'll do my best to come back with good chapters as soon as I'll figure this out, I wish it wasn't a problem with my writing in general (I am stuck with all my fics and even my undergrad thesis) but it is.
