...

And i decided here with strangers was the best place

Back in November, I got Notifed that Florence & The Machine was going on tour since she'd just released an album.

Ive always wanted to see her live ever since I heard 'Shake It Out' on the radio. The more of her music I listened to the more I was certain i had to see her in concert one day, it was a dream. It was a dream that I knew would have to wait a long time,until I got a job and then i got payed well and suddenly that dream was within my grasp.

A ticket to her show I knew would be expensive even if i just got nosebleed seats but I figured as long as i budgeted correctly I could do it!

I called my mom in excitement,telling her about my plan

She asks me "who are you going with?"

You see the thing about my mom was that my safety was always a major concern. I had to text her when i made it safe to work or else shed get worried something happened.

I truthfully replied to her that I was going to go by myself, as most of my friends were out of state and most likely wouldnt be able to spend the money to go to a concert and travel.

This troubled my mother, so she said "I'll go with you! Actually as an early birthday present (since i already got Christmas gifts for you) ill buy us both the tickets!"

I told her she didnt have to but she remained firm and eventually I said thank you and let her give me this gift. I was overjoyed and excited to finally go to a concert with my witchy punk mom.

Unfortunately, life had other plans. My mom had always had health issues and after my father passed,she pushed herself and they got worse. Then she moved to a harsher climate and things escalated.

I lost my mother in January, 3 months before our trip, and barely 2 months before my 26th birthday.

Its been...hard, unbelievably hard and devastating. But I had to keep going, what else could i do? As time has passed, its gotten easier, not easy but easier especially with my support system.

I was still planning on going to the concert, not only were there no refunds but my mom would have haunted my ass if i skipped it.

I tired to find someone to go with me! And many offered, but life and work made it difficult for anyone to be free (understandably)

I ended up going by self, sold the other ticket for 10 bucks the day of and saw Florence Welch live

I met my seat mates and they adopted me for the night as i cried through Shake it Out and Cosmic Love . We all huddled together in love and grief and had a wonderful night.

Id like to think my mom was somewhere there, in someway , experiencing Florences magic too.