EDG-e

Hey.

Been a long time since you looked up, looked straight, and met eyes.

Are you hiding from me?

Hiding from you?

Denying to stare at my reflection of you?

You look good, look great, look better than ever.

Too bad when you’re away you forget.

And rush back to me like it’s been forever.

Take one good glimpse and trust it.

As you’re walking through the crowd.

Because others can see how you lost it.

When you tend to look down.

Hey.

There’s no rush so look in deep.

Those ridges those shapes those lines.

Together that’s your face combined.

Can we see the change?

And remember what it was before.

Remember when we were younger.

Well that us is there no more.

Happy with what you see?

Then change it.

Do you know who you are?

Then claim it.

Say it.

Hey.

Don’t be embarrassed it’s just us.

You can even whisper it’s quiet enough.

Say what’s really on your mind, on your thoughts, on the tip of your tongue.

I can tell from the background you chose for a song.

It’s been good, it’s been bad and all in between.

We even have secret stuff happening that we don’t want to be seen.

It’s our little secret obviously.

Just continue to do better.

And when you want another update.

Just come back to the mirror.

And we can reflect us and smile together.

I’m just mad.

Let’s go to the beginning where you popped up.

I wasn’t even looking when you locked me up.

You trapped me you see.

You have me in my head.

Where I should be able to escape.

But I’m barricaded instead.

Now I’m pissed.

Where I just wanna cry.

I’m going crazy because I don’t care.

Yet I let you win and I don’t know why.

I can’t even begin a sentence without getting choked.

I hate it when the thoughts I have are the ones that you provoked.

I grind my teeth.

And squeeze my hands.

To things that you last said.

And now I scream out responses that I wish I said instead.

I’m really hurt.

Nope I’m pissed.

See this is me daily.

I go about my days.

And get lost in my world.

Until you remember that ive ignored you and gone sanely.

Now I’m confused.

So I’m the crazy one.

You point at me.

The tale of 3.

The girl to chase, to fool, to screw.

I’m calming now.

But give it a day or two.

Where you might be.

In a song or 3.

Or a story I might refer to.

How do I feel now?

I’m going a little numb.

But it’s a relief.

To be left alone.

Where my mind and heart won’t contribute so I can think this through on my own.

But let’s not forget where I started.

Cuz I’ll always start my rant from there.

It goes in loops.

To avoid the truth.

That yes I’m madly in love with you.

And you’ll hear mine shout if we’re alone

I’ll paint you a pretty little picture

Cuz you’re a man now grown

Imagine where your hands would lay

If I guide you down town

Then you can steer me all the way

And make a river on the ground

Am I scared? No. Terrified? Maybe

But you would be too if you had these feelings inside me

I swore last time was the last time

But I'm only human and this boy...he's a dime

Not a quarter not a dollar but a ten

Not a chump but a man amongst men

Not by his physique

But the way his mind wanders and how he speaks is unique

What's a man to me? Well that's not fair

Whatever I perceive to be a noble man may be perfect for me but most women don't care

How is a man not the one opening each door, pulling chairs, and guiding with his hand?

Is a man not the one looking over his shoulder to see where his woman stands?

Not to keep her behind but away from the side of the street

If you don't know what I mean then let me repeat

He won't let me take a step on the street without placing me on the left side or is it the right?

Whichever side he sees I'm alright

It's no big deal to most but don't the little things count?

If moving me to the side and away from danger

Maybe slightly behind to dodge any hit

From hollering or wandering eyes that cannot resist

Or maybe some object somehow strikes me in the face, he'll catch it

Maybe he places me on the other side to represent

To state his love and respect

And I'm his flower shielded in his tent

Only he knows, but I can feel how he stares

The focus in his eyes and the thoughts up there

He smiles when I laugh, he questions when I don't

Any solution to bring the smile back he'll do

He doesn't touch he caresses

I can feel the ease on my skin as he kisses away any distresses

It's nice huh? Now let that sink then rewind and replay that feeling again

And you too will picture that perfect person in the end

He wants to exchange words and put you and I together?

He sees me in the picture of happy ever after?

And wants to prevent any common relationship disaster?

He wants to hold my hand as he protects me on the side

Then yea I guess I am that chick on the side

Soon enough. We'll be in sight.

I'll see your reaction when we meet eyes

And that smile I missed will force out mine

Soon enough. We'll be inches away.

We’ll lock arms, lock lips and there for 3 seconds we stay.

Soon enough. You'll feel me again.

I'll lather myself in my best scent so it can linger until you see me again.

Soon enough. I'll hear your words.

Those soothing sounds like I remembered more satisfying than our text can render.

Soon enough. We'll sink in time.

Drench in the moment with one thing in mind.

Soon enough. You'll get your fix.

You have my touch, my body, my skin

For you to grab, to strain, and sink your nails in

Soon enough. You'll fulfill my sin.

With your hands alone, make me quiver

Wrap me around and make me deliver

Soon enough. It'll end too soon.

I capture that face as I stare at you

It's the glimpse I can hold on to

For the nights of our days I replay

And soon enough I'll come back and stay.

I'll trade all of my beliefs and experiences

To rely on your truths

I'll erase the lies known to me

Those words will never come from you.

Yea ok

You’re not full of it

That's not your game face to block the bluff

And the twist won't come in the end

And what you express will come with actions to defend.

Yea ok

Your not speaking to me with your eyes

Just to distract my thoughts

You feel what I feel

And want what I want too

It's more than my body you want to steal

And my heart too

Yea ok

They who jacked it all up

It’s not you it’s just them

Who left an impression

But you, you’re different

You have purer intentions

Yea ok

I’m just being a girl

Being paranoid

Being afraid

But things always start this perfect way

And yea ok it may be too much too soon

But look you just proved my point

I haven’t heard from you in a week or two

I don't want an hour for a memory

Even a day won't last me a year

But the perfect moment would last an eternity

And that's why I'm still waiting here

I am a woman.

I have wants

I have needs

I have tricks up my sleeves

I have flaws

I have baggage

I have struggles I can't manage

I have good

I have bad

I have in between

I am a woman.

I just wanna be seen.

Look out the window

Glimpse at the moon

With the reflecting light

It sends my sweet dream kisses to you

For that moment I have your eyes

So I can stare for a second or two

And we can fall asleep together

So look out the window

Glimpse at the moon.

She wears her heart on her sleeve

It constantly needs to be mend

She doesn't let people just get up and leave

She just wants the tearing to end

It made sense to continue to sew

With patches and fabric galore

It's been repaired and fixed

And aligned and stitched

But that arm is hers no more.