ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʀᴇᴘʟᴀᴄᴇᴅ ɪᴛ.

okay so there is water (presumably?) all over my stove which is. vexing. i have absolutely no idea where it could have come from or how/why there is so much of it. there's an air vent right over it so i thought maybe it's ac condensation but the vent itself is totally dry, not a drip in sight. unsure how or why it would come from the hood over the stove. i am really tired and in a good bit of pain though so i've decided it's a tomorrow kind of problem. i am going back to my mother's to see my cat and cozy up in a bed that actually has bedding on it and get high and watch gundam and get some sleep so i can try and be up and at em early tomorrow, when this problem will hopefully have rectified itself as they often (rarely) do

rebuilt my bedframe based solely on vibes and inference because i do not know what happened to the instruction booklet. i'm relieved all the screws were even in there. a couple extra screws too, no clue what those go to. i'll figure that out tomorrow. i'd say i'm a carpenter just like jesus but tbh jesus has got nothing on me. currently laying on my bed in my room in my apartment with my lamp on which has a cheap "smart" bulb in it that i can't currently change the color of because i don't know what happened to the remote to that either so i guess it'll be pink forever unless that turns up. it's so cozy in here and there are no sheets on my bed cause i also don't know what happened to those but i am having a good time anyway

i have to pee really bad which is how i've just now come to realize i have neither toilet paper nor soap anywhere in this apartment unit

i will NOT spend the rest of my natural born life ruminating about how i could have handled that interaction better i will NOT throw myself into a ravine either i am #normal

i knocked on the ceiling cause my upstairs neighbors were driving me crazy with all the stomping and yelling and they came downstairs and knocked on my door and man that scared the hell out of me i thought i was about to die today for real T~T they were nice about it and said they didn't know anyone had moved in downstairs and apologized and welcomed me to the neighborhood but i am convinced they hate me now with the passion of a thousand angry rhinos

anyways not only did i forget my stupid hat so i'm just walking around with my slutty little head all naked and exposed and lewd but i also forgot my headphones AND my speaker so i'm just in here building furniture in complete silence like an idiot

i be in my car behind the wheel geeked tf out listening to #mymusic dancing like i'm in the club smiling like i just won a million dollars untaxed like i know people gotta be thinking i'm driving under the influence

honestly wild that they'll approve you for a lease with no proof of income or banking statements or info or anything as long as you can provide an offer letter that says the job you're starting will pay enough to cover the rent. which is technically true but as of now during the actual process of moving where i've had to rent a truck and pay initial fees and buy gas to get back and forth and also pay my other bills it's been real tight. like i'm glad they do that because now i have an apartment and i'm moving out, but i also think they maybe shouldn't do that because i was acting very impulsively and, all things considered, am actually quite ill prepared to be moving out

every day there's another "i would help you but--" girl i think you just don't want to help actually

on multiple occasions he thanked me for staying with him despite how he often treated me, especially toward the beginning, and then he just left what the hell is that

i wish i had been the one who left. it feels unfair that after all the bullshit i just swallowed and let roll off my back he was the one who got to say he's had enough. i wish i were someone who is capable of leaving a situation why do i just fucking take so much

there is a lot of rage trapped inside of me that i don't know what to do with. my working solution has been to laugh a whole lot, at and with everything, even when it's technically inappropriate to do so