Yet Another TFLN Meme
[Text]: it glows. i had to have it. [Text]: i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. arenât you proud of me? [Text]: you told me your favorite colors were âpinkâ âno pantsâ and âMexican foodâ [Text]: I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack [Text]: YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET [Text]: This electrician is just ripping my house apart and Iâm too hungover to ask questions [Text]: I think my nap took me to another dimension [Text]: i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs [Text]: I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so Iâm conflicted. [Text]: I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA [Text]: i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang. [Text]: He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were âstay away from my princess parts. theyâre renovating.â [Text]: It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes. [Text]: If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you. [Text]: The real estateâs complaint had the words âloud squealing at 2amâ in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night. [Text]: Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less. [Text]: was it mean of me to chase him screaming âDO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!â [Text]: I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents. [Text]: If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh. [Text]: Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today? [Text]: I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job [Text]: And he probably thinks Iâm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything [Text]: I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk. [Text]: i said good morning to each one of his abs personally [Text]: A true measure of a good friend is how long they respond to their friends drunken illogical texts. Youâre a champ. [Text]: Apparently Iâm a âfire hazardâ [Text]: Just did shrooms. Donât feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothingâs happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money. [Text]: I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car. [Text]: do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like itâs really, really cool when u think about it [Text]: Well Iâm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and Iâm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me [Text]: im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper âIâm not wearing underwearâ but idk if thats a heartfelt apology [Text]: Ducking stuck downtownâŚall the fuxkig roads are blixkded [Text]: weâre making bets on your personal life [Text]: Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human beingâŚ













