nakayapak at nahihiwagaan

i'm sorry but i don't

but if you'll have me

if you truly want me, fucked up and all

you have it

at 3:00 AM, we become fully open to the emotions and feelings that we've been holding back all throughout the day. this is the part where the rage outbursts come in, with all the ugly crying and self loathing. this is the time of the day whether we'll be at our best or at our worst. there is no in between.

the moon and the stars have always been our company during these times. they are just up there quietly listening to the things that we can't say outside the walls that we've built.

then came you, my number 1 fan at 3:00 AM... you are the moon, the stars and a whole galaxy personified.

you witnessed the 3:00 AM version of me — unmasked, vulnerable, real, no holds barred. you never judged me. you accepted me wholeheartedly and i couldn't ask for more.

despite seeing the weak and vulnerable version of me, you still believed in me. you still see me as a beautiful human being as if i have no scars and flaws. you made me believe in myself that i can get through everything no matter how hard it is.

to ted mosby who said that nothing good ever happens after 2:00 AM, i'm sorry but i beg to disagree. i would rather believe in barney stinson who said that legendary and awesome things happen after 2:00 AM because that's the time wherein we are brave enough to be true to ourselves and to the people we're with.

to my number 1 fan at 3:00 AM, thank you for everything. i, too, am your number 1 fan, not just at 3:00 AM but 24/7 365. through the wild of it all that it took just to be here, your light is still pushing through me — from the surface up until my core. i sometimes wonder how vast our own universe would be with all the galaxies within us combined.

state lines // novo amor

i've been awake in every state line

dying to make it last us a lifetime

trying to shake that it's all on an incline

find me a way

So here's to the day you start living...

I need you to promise me one thing. Actually, no. I need you to promise yourself one thing. Promise yourself that with every single cell that exists in your body, you will live right now. Please don´t waste anymore Mondays wishing they were Fridays. Instead, open your eyes and be grateful to be alive. Watch the way the sunlight pours through your window and smile. Please don’t complain so much about how you have to get up early every day. Instead, take that opportunity to watch the sunrise and admire the endless beauty of the sky.

Promise yourself you will start living and finding beauty in the small things life gives us. Those afternoons you spent driving across the city singing your favorite songs to the top of your lungs. The summer nights. The beach bonfires. Feeling the ocean breeze through your hair. All the times you laughed so hard your stomach began to hurt. The hot showers on cold winter days. Bumping on old friends. Finding dried flowers in books. The rainbow after it rains.

Promise yourself you will start living. Right now. Right here.

Don’t save your favorite perfume for special occasions. Wear it every day. Buy that flowery summer dress you´ve always wanted. Love your body and all its imperfections. Look into the mirror and be grateful for your existence. Your whole life you´ve been told you can only wear bikinis if your belly is perfectly flat. But you know what? To hell what other think. Wear that bikini and get the tan of your life. Stay in on a Friday night, you deserve time alone. Put on that very expensive facemask and prepare yourself a relaxing bubble bath.

Buy that plane ticket. Go on adventures more often. There are nearly two hundred different countries that are waiting to be explored. Walk on the woods and breathe in that fresh pure air you can only find there. Skinny-dip on a lake under a sky full of shooting stars. Visit places that leave you breathless and make you feel so tiny and so big at the same time. Run barefoot through grass fields and dance under the rain. Lie on your back and admire the stars.

Smile at strangers on the street and enjoy that moment of joy when they smile right back at you. Be kind. Call your childhood friends and ask them how life’s treating them. Talk about your very first sleepover together and how you cannot believe it has been so long since then. Be a shoulder to cry on but don´t forget you are also allowed to do the crying whenever you need it. When you love someone, be brutally honest and tell them, in fact, shout it out from the top of the tallest building in your city. Don´t let the what ifs keep you back. Hug your dad and kiss your mother´s cheek more often. Tell your brother how much you love him and write a note to your sister reminding her that she will always be your best friend.

Be spontaneous. And courageous. And brave enough to choose and live the life you want. The journey is going to be messy and sometimes confusing but I promise that it’s also going to be beautiful and rewarding. You see, we only get to be here once, so we better make it count, because imagine what a terrible thing it must be, to wake up one day only to realize you didn’t do all the things you wanted when you had the chance.