$5000 seems like a nice amount. Somebody should just give me $5000 today. Directly into my bank account. It would be very nice.

you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

can i fucking help you?

i love being called a good girl because you're right

severely deficient in whatever vitamin makes u a person

hey (with the intention of making you go to the bookstore with me)

60% of ur adult life is just groceries and interior design

i have [gestures vaguely] my tendencies

The little forehead smooch after the most depraved, fucked up, diabolical sex you've ever had is so important.

i am so jealous of women who style their hair every day like you look sooooo cutes. but i do not have the energy for all of that