Golden

“this pillow works better if your a back sleeper” bitch I’m a rotisserie chicken sleeper I don’t stop turning until sleep rips me forcefully from this world

I don’t give a fuck about Isaac Newton discovering that shit goes down when you let go of it. Wow queen what a fucking epiphany

Who the fuck ripped this fat vape at silent hill I’m trying to find my dead wife

*sees an airplane at night* That’s a UFO.

“i wish there was a movie like dead poets society that wasnt so sad :(“ um there is? it’s called school of rock

jack black could do dead poets society and robin williams could do school of rock

i want to live by the ocean but also in the forest but also in the mountains but also in a big city but also in the countryside u feel me

Bus drivers who see you running and open their hole are better public servants than any cop.

their what now?

their ‘bussy’ you might say

i might not.

Bonus points off anon. 👀