landscape of the soul

 “Oh, Berwald, you - you - molopää,” Taavi yells from his spot on the floor, reaching for the pillow to send it flying back at him. It does, of course, since Taavi’s aim is impeccable - hitting Berwald square on the back of the head.

“Ha! Take that, you son of a bitch!”

    Was he surprised? Not in the slightest. It just made him a sort of ‘designated driver’ since he didn’t want to spend the night in some random place in Estonia- As nice as it was. Good thing he was only planning to buy, not consume on the spot too. “A’course. ‘nd make sure ya don’ go ‘verboard on the way back.”

    He may not look like he was teasing Taavi, but he certainly was, if someone paid attention to his tone that is.

      “Mm. Can’t deny that.” Just the thought of the alcohol prices around here was enough to make him cringe on the inside…And a little on the outside.

I dunno, take me to the back of the crowd and sit me down with a biscuit and some apple juice like they thought I’d just given blood or somethin’? 

I’d like to get a feel for it though, yeah, on account of never ‘aving been to a concert before in all my life, especially not with all the dozens of cool human friends I’ve got. 

    Berwald made sure to grab his keys and wallet from the table as the other spoke to him, fighting back the urge to snort at his comments. “Don’ like goin’ ‘lone? Hm. Didn’ think ya’d mind such’a thin’. Ah well.” Just had to tease him a little bit, it’s been too long since he last got to, after all. He walked by him, a silent way of saying to follow him on out the door. “Can’t blame ya for wantin’ ‘ta go ‘ta ‘stonia jus’ for beer, hones’ly.”

“You think I’m doing this solely out of the goodness of my heart? Fuck no. When we get to Estonia, I’m planning on drinking until my eyes are floating in my head, and it’s going to be your responsibility to make sure that I actually get back on the boat,” he says, throwing a grin over his shoulder. He’s kidding.

Mostly.

Yeah, I dunno.  By leaving ‘im be, I imagine. 

Anyway– of course I’d like to go with you, but I’d be crampin’ your style so badly that I’d not be able to calm down!  No, no don’t say I wouldn’t– don’t– because even if you said so, I’d still be so wracked with nerves that I might pass out mid-set!  And then they’d ‘ave to drag me over the barrier, so as to prevent me being trampled obviously, and cart me away!

[ He grins. ] 

@sielunmaisemaa​ said: Hei, Berwald. Two questions. [ He leans against the doorframe and holds up two fingers. ] One, are you busy, and two, do you want to come to Estonia with me to get beer? Not feeling the whole ‘going places by myself’ thing right now.

    What’s this? Taavi wanted to go somewhere with him? He had to stop and think for a moment, raising a brow as he did so. Well. It’s been a few weeks since he’s left his house for anything but grocery shopping and work. And alcohol in his country was…Notoriously expensive, so it’s been awhile since he had any. He gave a hum of approval before shooing a dog off of him, standing and dusting his lap off. “Mm. ‘Suppose I can. Done with ‘verythin’ else today. Lil’ ‘venture couldn’ hurt…”

“So you’re just going to toy with me first?  Is that it?”  He glares up at the ceiling, and lays an arm dramatically across his eyes.  “You might as well bring the dog in.  There’s little I loathe more than being walked and slobbered all over.  I get it.  You don’t have the guts to feed me tiny pebble stones so you’re going to let a dog torment me instead.  So be it!” 

No, Taavi, no he’s definitely not alright.  It’s possible he’s never been alright before in his life.  All he knows is melodrama and despair!  Oh what a fate! 

“I... highly doubt that Kukkamuna is torment, but okei,” he says, his eyebrows nearly at his hairline. He’s definitely learning all about the micronations now, that’s for sure.

Ignoring the melodrama about dogs, Taavi whistles and a small white fluff darts down the stairs to the basement room and up onto the bed using her little dog stairs. “Kukka, this is Viktor. He’s Peter’s friend. Be a good girl, joo?”

Kukkamuna’s tongue lolls out of her mouth as she listens, and she tentatively makes herself over to this new person, who she immediately proceeds to sniff. Deeming him acceptable, she climbs up onto his stomach and sits, ready to be pet. 

“How do you know who hates me and who doesn’t?” 

He’s.  Not even moving at this point.  He’s channelling every pet who’s ever been put into a carrier and hurried to huddle in the corner and accept its fate. 

“You say I would know for sure, and yet I tell you I know for sure, and you don’t even entertain the idea.  No matter what I do I’m just going to make you angrier and angrier until you feel the same way.  So get it over with.  Disproportionate retribution against our kind is celebrated.  Or did you not learn that from being so kind and patient to Peter.” 

“No.”  Viktor flops across the bed, crossways, with his legs dangling off.  This is, for all the world, a person who has abruptly accepted his fate.  “Don’t feed me yet.  You don’t realise what an opportunity this is for you.  I knew you weren’t going to let me escape, but you didn’t even appreciate the creativity in my attempt.” 

“And we’re not friends.  Peter hates me now.  And once he learns you personally invited me to desecrate his room with my foul presence, he’ll hate you, too.  So you might as well let me starve.  Bring me a bowl of small pebble stones and tell me to eat them.  I know someone who will be so overjoyed if you crack me in half like balsa wood that he’ll take you out for drinks.  I can give you his email.” 

Taavi barely restrains himself from rolling his eyes. Dramatic, this one is.

“Peter doesn’t hate you. If he hated you, you’d know for sure. So I highly doubt that’s the case. And I’m not going to feed you fucking rocks; are you mad? I’ll make you a sandwich or something. Eating rocks, my ass.”

Who in the hell even was this kid that he had someone gunning for his life like this already? But, honestly, knowing what he did about the micronations - it kind of made sense.

Listen, mate, I’m not sure what you thought would happen. 

You let one of us in, and the rest are bound to follow. We’re like cockroaches or vampires you can’t dis-invite. 

Wow, that sounds like another group I know.

[ He’s looking at you, the rest of the Nordics. Yeah, he sees you. ]

Well, at least I’m getting to meet all of you. I’ve known Peter for a while, and Ladonia through Berwald, and now I’m getting to meet you.

“Dungeon.  Basement.  Cellar.  A well-furnished oubliette.  I know you brought me here for the purposes of imprisoning me.  Does it matter?”

“And it is not difficult to understand.  I will accept your indelicate phrasing with regards to being anyone’s as an unintentional faux pas on your part, and explain again.  You believe this is the interior of your cellar, yes?  And outside these walls, is the exterior?  The two have been reversed.  Flip the walls inside out.  What was once the outside, now consists the various rooms of your cellar, many of them open to the sky.  This small space has now become the outside.  Do you understand yet?” 

“If you think you’re going to trick me into letting you out from here by saying that inside is now outside, the world is a lie, blah blah, then you’re mistaken. You can stay down here in Peter’s room until I can get Berwald to come and collect you.”

For the love of the gods, let Berwald come and collect him. 

“Until then, I’m sure you can find something to entertain yourself down here. You are Peter’s friend, right? You’ll find something. And I’ll bring you food in a while. Unless you want something now?”

He’s annoyed, not a monster. It’s not like he’s going to let this kid just... starve in his fucking basement. But he’s also going to make sure that he can’t just run out into the Finnish wilderness either. That’s just asking for bad shit to happen.

Yeah, that’s the one!  The very same!  Never shuts up, weighs less than a bag of cat food, always pretending to cast curses on people as they walk by? 

I gave ‘im some cryptic puzzle thing to fill out and actually go outside to solve it, made ‘im hop around on some rocks for the better part of an hour.  Made sure ‘e didn’t go the entire year without feelin’ actual sunshine on his skin first at least once. 

[ Taavi laughs loudly at his description and sits down in one of his armchairs. Seeing her favorite human sit down, Kukkamuna jumps off of Peter’s stomach and onto the floor so Taavi will pick her up. ]

Listen, mate, I’m not sure what you thought would happen. 

You let one of us in, and the rest are bound to follow. We’re like cockroaches or vampires you can’t dis-invite. 

This is what I get for socializing with people. I knew I should have never spoken to a single person in my entire fucking miserable existence. This is my curse, now.

[ Might as well let her go down into the basement where Viktor is surely having a conniption, though. ]

@sielunmaisemaa​

Mother, why do you not accept your children? 

Mother is…… evil?