Late Night Drives

Looking around your classroom, you sighed. It was all packed up for the summer. You were exhausted and ready for summer, as you always were when May came around. But there was something different about this year, something small, already festering in your heart and mind. After another sweep over your classroom, you grabbed your bag, turned off the light, and stepped into the hallway. The hallway was quiet— only a few teachers and students who stayed at the school over summer could be heard. You weren’t one of those as you had a small apartment about 30 minutes away from the school. Since you were tired and just wanted a nap, you tried to sneak out to the garage without getting caught. You made it there, only for Logan Howlett to be leaning against your car with his arms crossed and an unsurprised look.

You let out an annoyed sigh. “I really don’t have the energy for this, Logan. I’m exhausted.”

“Yeah, figured as much,” he muttered, straightening up. “That’s why I’m here to take you home.”

“I can drive myself.”

“Too dangerous with how tired you are, sweetheart.”

“Logan…”

“Y/N…”

“If you were to drive me, how would you get back here?”

“Walk.”

“You cannot be serious. You cannot just walk back here.”

Logan shrugged. “I’ve done worse.”

“No,” you shook your head. “I can drive myself home. Thank you for the offer.”

He studied you like he wanted to continue fighting, but chose not to. “Text me when you get home.”

You rolled your eyes as you walked around him to get into your car. 

Logan gently grabbed your arm. “I’m serious. Text me.”

You nodded. “As soon as I walk through the door.”

He took a second before letting go and stepping back from the car. You finally got in the car, started it, and began driving away. You glanced in the rearview mirror, noting how Logan was watching as you drove away. As soon as you got home, you practically collapsed on the couch. Before falling asleep though, you let Logan know you got home.

~~~

The next few days of being completely alone were perfect. You got to sleep in, take naps, shower when you wanted to, as well as eat and use the restroom when you wanted to. All the perks of a teacher being off for the summer. You cleaned and did laundry and began making a list of things you could do to prepare for the next school year when you finally felt like it. But after almost a week, something began to happen that had never happened before. Your mental health was slipping. Thankfully, you could tell at first. So about a week and a half after school ended, you headed back to the mansion to see if anyone was available for lunch or just a chat. When you arrived at the mansion, you immediately noticed how quiet it was. You stepped in and began looking around for either Storm, Jean, or Logan. You couldn’t find any of them. Eventually, you ran into a student who told you that everyone was out for a government meeting the Professor wanted the X-Men to attend with him.

Instead of going straight home, you decided to go to your classroom and work on planning for the next school year. You stayed there for far too long, trying to distract your struggling mind. By the time you decided to head home, the jet was landing. You paused to watch everyone exit the jet like things had gone well at the meeting. Logan did a double take in your direction when he felt eyes on the jet. He was confused as he didn’t expect to see you. 

“Y/N!” He called, jogging over. 

“Hey, Logan,” you greeted, trying to act natural. 

“What— uh, where are you going?”

“Home. I was just here to get a few things ready for next school year.”

Logan chuckled. “Already? We’ve barely been out.”

“Yeah… well… I don’t have much else to do.”

“I’m sure you have friends that you could catch up with.”

You shook your head. “I only have you guys here,” you motioned to the mansion. 

Logan’s brows pinched in concern. “Y/N–”

“It’s no big deal though. You are all busy with X-Men stuff. I’m just the only human teacher at an all mutant school. I should have a life outside of here.”

“Y/N–” Logan tried again, stepping closer to you. But you were too far in your spiral.

“I’m only 28 and should have friends outside of work. But how do you even make friends anymore? And how do you get people to like you? To want to spend time with you or date you or talk to you?” Your breath was now coming unevenly with tears pricking your eyes. “What do I need to change to be likeable? I don’t even need to be lovable. I just need people to like to be around me occasionally. I need—”

“Y/N.” Logan grabbed your shoulders, stopping your rambling. 

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! I’m so sorry!”

“Hey, hey, hey,” his hands slid from your shoulders up your neck to gently hold your head.

“I shouldn’t have spilled everything like that. I’m so sorry. I need to go.”

“No, darlin’, I think you need to stay here.”

You shook your head from his grip and stepped away. “No, I really need to go home.”

“Y/N, listen to me. I don’t think that’s a good idea right now.”

“Just forget I said anything, Logan. I’ll— I’ll see you later.”

You rushed to your car and sped up, leaving Logan standing there deeply concerned. Jean and Storm came up from behind Logan.

“What was that about?” Jean wondered.

“Y/N is not okay,” Logan replied, eyes still focused on where you drove off.

“What’s going on?” asked Storm.

“She doesn’t have anybody besides us. And she thinks she isn’t likable enough to be around.”

“That’s not true.”

“I’ve got to go to her apartment.” Logan turned to go to his bike, only to be stopped by Jean.

“Wait, Logan,” she said. “You can’t just show up. You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.”

He tore his arm from Jean’s grip. “Y/N’s clearly not okay. And I’m not letting her believe that she’s alone.”

“Be smart about this, Logan,” Storm advised. “You can’t let your feelings for Y/N get in the way of what’s going on with her.”

“Feelings? I don’t—”

“The only one at the mansion who doesn't know you have feelings for Y/N is Y/N. That’s how obvious you are. If you go in there the wrong way—”

“I am worried about her ‘Ro! End of story. She is not okay! So I’m goin’ over to her apartment to make sure she realizes she’s not alone. Ain’t nothing else about it.”

~~~

You cried the entire way home, embarrassed by your spiral in front of Logan and the emotions you were already feeling. You were shaking as you struggled to enter your apartment and immediately collapsed on the couch when you got there. You curled up and continued crying. You were so lonely— really no friends besides coworkers who all had lives of their own that you don’t believe you fit in. You don’t know how much time passed before you heard a strong knock on the door that made you flinch.

“Y/N?” Logan’s voice filtered through the door. “Open up.”

You squeezed your eyes closed and curled up impossibly tighter.

“I know you’re in there… I can smell the tears.”

“I’m f-fine!” You croaked, clearly not sounding fine.

“I don’t believe you. If you don’t open up, I’m coming in.”

You grabbed a nearby blanket and pulled it over your entire body, hiding underneath it.

Logan put his hand on the doorknob and turned it. He closed his eyes as he tried to bury his own worries when he realized the door was unlocked. Those types of safety concerns couldn’t be on the top of his list right now, he had to focus on your mental state. “I’m coming in,” he stated. He waited a moment to see if you’d respond and when you didn’t, he slipped into your apartment. His eyes immediately scanned the small living area to find you hiding under a blanket on the couch, heart breaking at the sight. He toed off his boots before slowly coming over to the couch and crouching down near your head.

“Sweetheart…” he rasped. 

“Go away, Logan,” you muttered from underneath the blanket.

“Yeah, I don’t think I’m gonna.”

“I’m fine.”

“Sure coulda fooled me.”

You didn’t respond.

Logan sighed. “I’m just worried about you.”

“You don’t need to be.”

“Really? Because from what you told me, it seems you think you’re alone and unlikeable. Last time I checked, I was the alone and unlikeable one.”

You tossed the blanket off as you swiftly sat up. “You don’t own the rights to loneliness, Logan!” You jumped off the couch.

But before you could get anywhere, Logan gently grabbed your wrist. “I’m not lettin’ you run away again, darlin’. I’m staying until you decide to be honest.”

You closed your eyes, trying to bury your emotions though failing terribly. You finally let out a sob, causing Logan to quickly gather you into him. You willingly turned and hid your face into his neck. The sobs wracked your body quickly. Logan held you close, trying to keep your body as still as he could. Slowly, he moved to sit down on the couch, making sure you ended up curled in his lap.

“I’m just so lon–lonely,” you cried.

“I know, sweetheart,” Logan whispered. “I’m here now.”

“Everyone has obligations after work and I’m… I’m just me. I’m just a human who can’t even make human friends. I hang out with all of you while school’s in session but when classes end, you all have missions and meetings and I just have here. And I’ve really tried to make friends outside of the school. I promise, I really have. But people don’t like me. I’m not the most attractive or the most funny. I’m just a teacher. I’m just me… and it’s never enough.”

“That’s not true.”

You pushed away from Logan’s chest, sitting up. “But it is! I can’t even get a date. I’m not what guys want. I’m not who people want as a friend apparently.”

“Sweetheart,” Logan’s hands moved to cup your face. “All of those people who don’t give you a chance, are idiots.”

“But—”

“But nothing, darlin’. You are amazing. Everyone at school loves you— students and staff members. If you would just ask, any of us would drop everything to spend time with you.”

“That’s a whole another issue… No one invites me to anything… I’m always the one setting things up, so I’ve just stopped to see if people reach out to me… and no one does. So I don’t do anything because no one puts any effort in besides me.”

Logan’s eyes closed as he tried to manage his own heartbreak at your words, especially when he knew there was truth to your words.

You took his silence wrong and scrambled to get off his lap. “I’m sorry. I said too much. Just forget everything I said. I—”

His eyes snapped open as his arms quickly kept you close. “No, stop that. You should not be apologizing. Everyone else should be. I should be.”

You turned your head away, keeping your eyes down.

 “I am sorry that no one treats you the way you deserve to be treated. You deserve to be treated with the love you so freely give out. You deserve friends and love and happiness and to not feel like you’re drowning in loneliness. So I’m here and I’m staying and I’m goin’ show you that you are not actually alone, even though it feels that way.”

“I don’t know if I can believe you…”

“That’s okay. I’m not leavin’ ‘til you do.”

You gave him a questioning look. “You’ll live here with me?”

He chuckled. “Okay, I mean that I’ll show you ‘til you believe it. I’ll text and call–”

“You? Logan Howlett? Text and call?”

“For you, I’ll do anything.”

You inhaled sharply, sensing the deeper meaning behind his words. You met his gaze, seeing how serious he was through his eyes.

“Movie nights,” he continued. “At least once a week, here or at the school. Just you and me or whoever else you want. Pizza, popcorn, whatever.”

“You’re serious.”

“Deadly.”

“...Are you just doing this to make me feel better?”

“Yes.”

“Then I—”

“And no. You deserve to know you’re likeable and that you’re not as lonely as you believe you are.”

“It’s going to take me a while to believe that.”

streetlights and neon signs reflected against puddles of water left behind by an earlier storm - It was calm now. The night sky was mostly clear with a few almost invisible clouds that blocked a few stars from any star gazers.

Outside the bar was a few men, quietly talking and smoking their fair share of cigarettes, ashing and leaving the butts on the ground, joining the litter left behind from other patrons.

One of them noted a man- Logan, and give him a side-eye as he crossed the empty road to the hole-in-wall bar. Logan wishes the guy would give him a reason. He's been fighting all day and he would just love one more, just to finish the night off just right.

The man looks away, either not wanting a fight- or not wanting a fight with him. Good instincts, and he's got a date he's late for anyway.

The bell above the door dinged when he walked in. It was warm, and humid inside compared to the cool evening air. Soft rock played on a busted looking radio behind the counter, surrounded by a wall full of various types of liquor. The bartender spares Logan a glance before returning to his tasks. It was quiet, and empty- rare most nights but he appreciates it this time

His drink was already there, sitting on a napkin and waiting for him. He groans as he sits on the stool, grabbing the glass and gulping the Jim Beam down in one swig. He sets it down on the wood with a clink,

"Hey, another." He waves to the bartender.

"You're not going to even savor it?"

Your voice reaches him, before the smell of your perfume, and finally your hand on his arm. He grumbles, not bothering replying with anything snarky. The bartender pours him another glass, looking at both you and Logan and sliding it back to him. Logan gives him a slight tip of his hat as thanks, before before man disappears.

"I talked to Jean," Your voice turns low just in case someone was listening in the empty bar, "She and Storm got the kids back safely. They're working locating any families now."

Logan nods, taking another large swig of the bourbon, letting it burn his tongue and throat- savoring it, as you would say.

"Lo, you're so tense." You move in closer. "You did a great thing today."

"I just did what needed to be done." He shakes his head. "I want to bring these assholes down. Figure out what they're trying to do."

"We know what they're trying to do." Your hand wrapped around his, "But let's forget about it tonight- you saved those kids. Now we can just take a moment to breath."

"You saved those kids too." He finally looks up at you. You smiled, leaning over to cup his cheek.

"You did all the hard stuff....Now c'mon cowboy, I want to dance."

You hop off your stool, still holding onto his hand and waiting for him to follow. he finishes off his glass and obliges. He pulls you close, an arm wrapping around your waist, and allowing no space for your bodies. You quickly grabbed his hat, placing it on your own head.

"Thief," He mutters teasingly, buying him a cheeky grin from you.

Your bodies rock together to the slow rock song, never minding the world around you. Your hand in his, your stared into his eyes like he was your world.

This is what he loved about you. The way you could make him ease up. There's barely a conversation held between you but already the weight on his shoulders have faded just by seeing you smile. You help him savor the little moment, and remember what life's all about. He spins you, and then dips you. His hat nearly falls off your head, but he catches it just as he stands you up, placing it back on his head. The song ends, and he lifts your hand to kiss the back of it.

You hum approvingly at his gesture, staninding close so you can stetch your arms over his shoulders, with his hands on your hips. You pick at some lint on his flannel, "So, do you want another drink, or call it a night and go back to our room?"