Alex

I lost many ‘best friends’ throughout my life, but there was that one girl that i thought will stay in my life forever. I met her when i had to leave my old school and had to visit another one. Many people spread rumours about me saying sh*t like 'She’s crazy don’t talk to her’ 'She never talks, but if she does you better run, she's aggressive af' Yk bullsh*t that other people spread around just to make you look bad in front of other people.... (Ok that thing about the aggression stuff might be true... But i would never actually harm anyone! Just to clarify that...) Thank god that this one girl in my class ignored the 'warnings' from everybody and from the first time we talked we KNEW that nothing could ever tear us apart. We became more than just best friends and i am not sure, but it almost seemed like i was falling in love, but i wouldn't let myself ruin that one friendship i had so i just played it off. One day she met that one guy through a friend of hers. They became really close and they text everyday and call each other almost every day. (I'm sure i would've been jealous but thank god i had a boyfriend at that time.) I know her very well. She is almost always online and replies to my texts immediately. We texted everyday. But some time ago we just stopped. She doesn't reply to my texts that much anymore. When we talk then she talks a lot about that guy and of course i listen to her and her stories, because she means a lot to me. But something between us changed. I realised that i lost my 'best friend' to a stupid guy. He has more in common with her than i do and that bothers me, that's what drove us apart. Maybe it's just a thing about growing up that i'll never understand. I never really had a friend that was 'mine' and i never really had a 'squad' or a group of friends that i was part of. Maybe that's what bothers me about growing up the most. I missed out on so many things because i never really had friends. And the friends i had were not MY friends. But it is a part of life to just let go. Even if it hurts. Losing people that you care about isn't fun. But losing somebody that you thought cared about you is worse.

Follow me on Instagram if you want to, i really want to post more art stuff on there, not only jacksepticeye themed but in general creepy stuff and just some random shit i drew

My parents don’t seem to care how much my depression actually affects me. I can’t eat I can’t laugh I can’t stand up I can’t talk The only thing i do is stay in bed. I lost the ability to smile for minimum the next 3 weeks. And whenever my parents ask what’s wrong i can say “I’m just tired” and it works every time. One day i’ll jump around, talk, laugh and yell and the next day it’s like somebody took my will to live. The worst part is that nobody asks me why i’ve been “tired” for the past 2 weeks. That’s when i watch youtube all day long. Jacksepticeye, Markiplier, Shane Dawson and Crankgameplays really saved me and cheered me up when i needed it.

The weird letters in the title spell Anti… Am i losing my mind?