LATE AT NIGHT, yet brunette remains wide awake not a blink of sleep. too much on mind from the hectic day, & she can only release a sigh. unsure if it’s from exhaustion or irritation both good options. rolling over on side, she notices her phone light up. normally, melanie would ignore whatever caller it was, but tonight she was PRACTICALLY expecting a call. the caller ID showing just who popped into her mind; BOWIE. arm reaches out to grab the object, pathetically fast she feels ashamed. ashamed of the effect he had on her, & almost how NEEDY she was when it came to him. to make up for that, she lets it ring a little longer before picking up.
A SINGLE, short breath is her answering call. showing she was THERE for whatever he needed, though she wasn’t ready to fully talk to him. it was constant circles for her & it was KILLING her. yet, remains right by his side through everything. it was GAMES & she was letting herself get played. his voice fills her ears & she knows the drill. head falls in her hand, phone pressed to her ear. his tone causes brunette to BRACE HERSELF & she can feel the hurt from a measly comment. HER FAULT ? ❝ don’t block me, ❞ a whisper, sounding far too close to a BEG & she can only shake her head at herself. the second sigh of the night is released. YOU SHOULD HAVE ME BLOCKED. boy, has she HEARD that. & she knows it too, but can never bring herself to actually do it. ❝ what if you need me ? ❞ almost positive he’s hardly listening, yet she’s responding.
❝ BOWIE, IT’S LATE. ❞ her way of fighting what he wants, though she knows she’ll cave far too quickly. it wasn’t healthy. it’s almost a bad addiction. ❝ i don’t know if i should. ❞ bottom lip is met between her teeth as she thinks over her next words. DESPERATELY wanting to be with him & knowing she shouldn’t was her constant struggle. her mind telling her NO was never sufficient. ❝ do you have a ride home ? i can call tusca, or chase, and see if either of them can pick you up & get you home SAFELY. ❞
THE WAY MEL’S VOICE makes his heart thud against his ribs is a secret he will take to his gave. ❛ you know i could NEVER block you. ❜ the response is TOO quickly after she’s spoken, the laugh he laughs is TOO devoid of humor—— even his impaired state knows he’s making a F O O L of himself, with how desperate he’s coming across. a snort escapes him ; he figures if he’s already on the DECLINE, he might as well respond with some indication of his self-awareness. ❛ you’ve made me too WEAK for that shit. ❜ there’s a pause, his breaths slow and just barely audible over the phone— he’s almost certain mel can hear the moment he just GIVES up. ❛ i ALWAYS need you .... you keep me from consuming myself. ❜
another pause, and his voice HARDENS momentarily—— he’s knows pleading at this point, the SIGH gives it away. ❛ YOU KNOW why i’m calling, melanie. ❜ it’s only ever in his drunken state he calls her by her full name. a part of him is convinced that it’ll help her take him more seriously even when he’s wasted, even IF that couldn’t be further from the truth. it almost ANGERS him that she wants to deflect him towards his two best friends. ❛ if i wanted tuck or chase, i would have called them. I DIDN’T, ❜ he snips, though it’s softer than what she knows he’s capable of. bowie is helplessly defenseless, and he feels PATHETIC for the way he’s practically groveling for her. he knows he’ll fucking hate himself in the morning, IF he remembers any of it. he’s already teetering on the edge—— and in his world, mel donaghue is the only person his PRIDE is worth sacrificing for. pink tongue darts out to wet his lips, a quiet sight soon following. ❛ it’s always fucking you. ❜
❛ i SHOULDN’T keep doing this to you, ❜ he laughs, and it’s a disbelieving laugh that trails off into a full-on GROAN. he hates the misconception that he doesn’t know how much better max is for her than he is, he hates the FACADE he puts up as if it doesn’t bother him— which, as shown by tonight, it fucking DOES. ❛ it’s disgusting how bad i am to you. QUIT taking me back. ❜ the BITE in his words is too bittersweet to be completely playful, something he notes immediately. ❛ i’m going to test you—— READY? ❜ his tone lightens, he’s smiling lazily down at the concrete holding up his tired body folded beneath him. bowie KNOWS she’s probably exhausted by his games, but he figures another one won’t hurt— besides, if she makes the RIGHT choice, it’ll mean they’re learning from their mistakes. (or at least, SHE’S learning.)
❛ melanie kay donaghue, i have an inexplicable TENDERNESS for you, and you know that. i’m asking, KINDLY, for you to come and get me. ❜ there’s something unrecognizable in his voice, an unfamiliar heaviness in his throat, it nearly drives him crazy until he places it— it’s the feeling of UNCERTAINTY and he fucking HATES it. ❛ i’m KIIIIIINDA fucked up, and i miss you, and we both know me admitting that out loud feels like acid corroding my throat because of reasons we choose to I G N O R E. ❜ another dry laugh to punctuate his statement. ❛ it’s YOUR test, mel. you can come get me, OR you can choose not to— the only thing i ask is that you please, PLEASE, don’t leave me somewhere in the middle. i can’t handle anymore in-betweens— tonight has been long ENOUGH. ❜