Ouah!

guys please don’t vote for Donald Trump. I don’t have enough money to move out of the United States right now.

The fact that you can’t raise taxes on billionaires even slightly without them pouring money into fascist political movements is, of itself, evidence that billionaires as a class shouldn’t be allowed to exist in the first place.

You, ah, don’t think it’s unfair to judge people’s morals based on their finances?

I, ah, think that it’s perfectly fair to judge people’s morals based on the amount of money they pour into neo-nazi political movements, yeah actually.

i ate chef boyardee and began to cry bro that shit was so bad… i had noodles i could have eaten those

none of yall know what propaganda actually is, do you?

“I’m an adult” I whisper as I try not panic while I’m filling in all those forms that I don’t understand.

Prophesy

Last week I joked that my very cerebral, retired-police-chief-grandpa is basically Holt from Brooklyn 99 and then today someone said, “damn, we’re out of decaf” and he just deadpans “well there’s no need to get hysterical.”

Yesterday he said “if you need to insult the same person twice you’ve already failed in your goal to devastate them”

My Yaya was trying to remember the name of a guy who stole money from her in high school today and my grandpa instantly pipes up “his name was Bernie Ryan and he was a scoundrel”

Why ain’t no one wear stylish headphones? Like a rollerskater? Those are cool.

This is how one constructs a joke.

Reminder that your success isn’t dictated by your marital status and that females have more to offer to the world than just engagement announcements. Women deserve their educational and professional accolades just as much as men do!

#the starter pack for ‘how to deal with villain apologists

“I’m having a very terrible childhood right now” was such a line.

Good Lord, how delicious! I wanna do that! The next time I’m in a cathedral, I’m doing it. 

As she stood inside an ancient and empty church in Montefrío, Spain, Malinda Kathleen Reese belted out one of the best Christmas carols of all time-“O Come, O Come Emmanuel” and the end result was just heavenly.

I’m obsessed with this because A. Victorian Christmas Carols B. European Cathedrals C. It’s gorgeous and fuckin choristers are my favorite