maizy-sensei

“Chancey” is not a word that would come to mind given Ryuji’s original plans which involved flinging a rubber band he’d had in his pocket at her. It’d annoy someone, sure, but it wasn’t all that risky in terms of consequence (if things did look sour he could just claim it was an accident, after all), not like this new plan was. There was nothing about this that could be considered ‘accidental’ by any means.

“You know kabe don, right?” he asks, grin widening. 

Come to think of it, he’s always wanted to do something like this, and given that his companion was up to the task… Yeah, no way in hell any of my teammates would approve of me doing anything like this. 

“So what I‘m thinking is that the two of us approach real quiet, right? When we’re in front of her, I’ll bend down a little so you can get on my knees, then you’ll lean against the wall – like this, see?” he says, demonstrating with his hands. “And you can trust me to hold onto you; I’ve got a really strong grip!”

He gives them a thumbs up, not necessarily waiting for them to comply (if not, well…he still had the rubber band) before walking in the direction of the sulking girl.

Norie’s eyes lit up at the mention of kabe don. Of course they knew of it; in fact, to call them proficient in such an area of expertise wouldn't be much of an overstatement. More times than the columnist could count on one hand, they’d been unjustly carted off to the principle’s office for performing one too many cicada blocks to unsuspecting denizens within their school’s hallways. Although they didn’t have an especially brawny physique, Norie was quite tall and reasonably durable as a result of countless schoolyard fistfights. It had simply taken ample practice to be able to properly attach themself to the wall using only their four limbs, undue confidence, and a hearty dosage of stupidity.

Their eagerness to carry on with the devilish little scheme was evident as they nodded in earnest, listening with a keen heart as Ryuji explained it in further detail. The semantics didn’t matter much to Norie, all that did matter was that they were about to pull the finest prank of all time; primo, nonpareil, the paramount of all pranks...! Norie felt their heart racing just thinking about it. They clapped their hands together and barked out a sharp laugh of satisfaction.

“Just brilliant, Hadena-kun!” they exclaimed brightly, the impromptu nickname rolling off their tongue with little difficulty. “Keh... with both the slyness of a fox and the ferocity of a Komodo dragon, we’ll execute this kabe don flawlessly! I have no doubts about it,” Norie recited, saluting their acquaintance like they could only assume a military officer might.

They hustled after Ryuji, not a speck of restriction fueling their footsteps as they marched gladly over to the poor, gloomy victim of their would-be antics. They glanced at the catcher and winked once they’d drawn near enough to begin getting into formation. Regrettably, they seemed to have forgotten the "real quiet" part of the arrangement somewhere along the line. There had been an awful lot of excitement, and Norie’s attention span was fifty leagues too short. They marched with stomping footsteps and cackled as they lifted one foot, preparing to step onto the platform of Ryuji's thighs.

His first thought is, I’ve been smacked in the head with a baseball. Again.  His second thought is, Jesus, my back hurts.  His third thought is…. 

Wait. This isn’t the bullpen. 

Opening his eyes, he doesn’t feel the warm, loose dirt beneath him only cold, hard concrete. Above him isn’t the blinding sun, but lights, artificial as the ones which illuminate the practice field when the sun sets. He’s still trying to make sense of his current circumstances when the announcement blares over the speakers, the voice filling the room unfamiliar but not unpleasant, at least to him. 

In a situation like this, he isn’t supposed to feel so at home and comfortable, in fact he should be afraid or at the very least concerned as very slowly the word ‘quarantine’ resurfaces from the depths of his memory. 

If only the definition of the word resurfaced with it.

“Fuss? Who’s makin’ a fuss?” he asks in response to the first voice which reaches his ears.

Turning towards his companion he recognizes their face, though only vaguely – it wasn’t the face of someone he knew particularly well, and in fact prior to now he knows he hasn’t spoken a single syllable to this person. His eyes wander from them to the others in the room, silently surveying their surroundings (and resting briefly on one figure in particular) before settling on the individual he was actually conversing with.

“Dunno about us actually being okay or not, but…” he leans in a grin on his face as he lowers his voice and points at a girl stationed at the wall, “That girl over there still looks a little sleepy, don’t you think? How about you ‘n me give her a little wake up call?”

“Keh... That’s rude, awfully rude,” they mumbled directly at the floor. 

They were formally shaken from the private hissy fit by a coarse baritone. They peeked out from the black brimmed cap, only to see a vaguely familiar face sitting atop a large orangish jacket and beneath a peculiar mat of blonde hair. He was some jock, they recalled that much, but no name came to mind. Norie shifted back a bit as the veritable stranger leaned in, eyes narrowed as they mulled over his proposition. Given the nature of the circumstances, a prank was really the last thing that seemed appropriate. Counterintuitive, really. 

The agony aunt’s eyes lit up and a crooked smile appeared on their face. Perfect, this idea was perfect! Norie leapt to their feet, wobbling for only a moment.

“Nonsense, nonsense. We’re fine, killer. Like I said, I’m almost 500% sure of that. Anyway, your plan’s not half bad. Miss Grumpy Goose over there could totally use a cool glass of water over the head to snap her out of that bad attitude. Metaphorically speaking, ‘course,” they responded jubilantly, sticking one hand out as an invitation to shake with their acquaintance. 

Norie was nothing if not fond of niceties. The columnist offhandedly noticed that their eyes were at almost precisely the same level as the boy’s, so they took it upon themself to stand on their tippy-toes, just barely. 

Norie’s consciousness returned to them in a rush, not feeling terribly unlike a wave of saltwater crashing onto a sheet rock on a seaside; foam and barely-visible granules of sand all that remained on the moist flatness of the stone. It had been shell-shocking emptiness, all laid out, simple in its conception, but still remarkably difficult to comprehend. At one moment in time, the flash of a concrete memory, the columnist had been standing at the helm of the Hope’s Peak gymnasium. They’d been staring down at their shoes, black leather loafers – they despised them, regardless of their pristine, almost glistening patent condition. They were simply ugly shoes, standing out against the scuffed oak floors of the gym. 

And in the next moment, the moment that was now, Norie sat in a mysterious place. It was one they were reasonably sure they’d never seen before in their life, which unsettled them deeply, though things rarely did. Perhaps it was something about having been asleep in this peculiar place, utterly defenseless. The feeling of awakening was not a particularly enjoyable one, to be sure: their mind was foggy still with the haze of what felt like a dreadfully long nap, and they rubbed their eyes with one cramping hand. Even their mouth tasted of sleep and they coughed sloppily into he open air, hoping to clear it. The taste remained. Norie licked their teeth and cast a weary glance around the room, spine still lying flat against the metal floors. 

“Eh… Something’s off. For sure,” they stated concisely, slamming one clenched fist into another open and waiting palm. 

It was a motion of certainty. They could only hope that it would serve to convince the others of their objective correctness. There was no doubt about it, indeed, the air didn’t feel right. The sea of faces that surrounded Norie, albeit familiar, seemed distinctly different. How, or why, the agony aunt couldn’t begin to guess. But every scientific process had to begin with a question, right? They were off to a fantastic start, and fancied this thought wise enough to justify the wide grin that shortly spread across their face.

The sudden voice, much unlike the hard metal container that they’d found themselves in, was rather funny. Clement. Unthreatening, to say the very least. Norie did not feel frightened, merely confused. They sat up spryly and lifted one hand, fingers spread in the shape of a ‘V’. 

um. forgive me for i have sinned. i’ll do the rest when i get back home

edit: added more

(Note: this is in no specific order)

SHSL Pet Detective // Kenji Nakajima

SHSL Wedding Planner // Toshio Todoroki

SHSL Weightlifter // Toru “The Tiger” Kanno

SHSL Catcher // Ryuji Takasugi

SHSL Gossip Columnist // Noriko Suzuki

SHSL Maiko // Menma Endoso

SHSL Literary Critic // Naomi Saiga

SHSL Medium // Jeong Kim Lee

SHSL American Football Player // Morgan Lowell

SHSL Pin Trader // Kazeno Toyoguchi

SHSL EMT // Chihaya Mitsuhashi

SHSL Monster Model // Akumi Mori

SHSL Doll Maker // Fumito Miyoshi

SHSL Cake Decorator // Naomi Kikuchi

SHSL Violinist // Maiko Konoe

SHSL Speed Cuber // Mio Tanazaki

SHSL Bioarcheologist // Rui Ranno

SHSL Ambassador // Kotan Sanjaya

SHSL Fantasy Novelist // Orpheus Edler

SHSL Lepidopterist // Arata Maki

SHSL Classical Pianist // Shōma Hashimoto

SHSL Boomerang Champ // Roku Izumi

SHSL Advice Columnist // Norie Fan