perhaps vampires is a bit strong but...

Oh dear god

St. Bernards are not real. They can’t be.

they could all comfortably ride on top of that dog’s head

hey look it’s me

“Staff shortage” (the name tag reads “trainee”).

he’s doing SUCH A GOOD JOB PROMOTE HIM MAKE HIM STORE MANAGER

… brb making a playlist called Weird Songs From The Nineteen Hundreds

y'all ever hear a song and just. immediately adopt it into your aesthetic and self like “oh this,, this is me now,,, my whole identity,, is this song”

@thestalkerbunny toucan lich

Conclusion: human evolution has always depended in part upon some unassuming father’s ability to literally backflip his child out of the jaws of death.

This is what I want all 2018 posts to be like. Wholesome and protected.

I hate when they make you describe yourself on the first day of school like???? me????? tired angry egg trying to live an honest life

that last cat looks sick