after the rainfall

I miss you, dumbass.

I miss your off-key voice notes,

the ones I'd roll my eyes at,

the ones I'd pretend to hate,

the ones I'd say,

"Stop singing, you're terrible."

Its, kinda funny how silence

can make even the worst singer

sound like home.

Now I replay those stupid recordings

like they're the only proof

you were ever real.

What the hell have you done to me?

You left,

but somehow your voice

still knows the way back

to every lonely night.

I hate that my favorite songs

don't sound the same anymore.

I hate that every notification

still makes my heart hesitate.

I hate that you're gone,

and somehow

I'm still carrying pieces of you

like they belong to me.

I hate you.

God, I fucking hate you.

For making me love

the very things

I once complained about.

For turning your flaws

into the parts of you

I miss the most.

And maybe the thing I hate most,

is that if you sent me

one more stupid voice note today,

I'd listen to it

Maybe then our hearts will have learned the language they couldn't speak today.

Maybe the silence between us will no longer feel like goodbye.

And if fate is kind enough to cross our paths once more,

don't ask if I missed you.

Look into my eyes

they'll tell you how long I loved someone

Funny,right?

No anniversary to remember,

no photographs to hide,

no promises to break.

Just unfinished conversations,

lingering hope, beautiful unfinished memory,

and feelings that arrived

without my permission.

It's strange how I grieve

a relationship that never even happened.

How do you mourn

someone who was never really yours?

Maybe because

my heart had already chosen you,

even if yours never chose me.

I miss you in the smallest moments

when something funny happens,

when a song reminds me of you,

when I reach for my phone

before remembering

there's no place for me in your notifications anymore.

But this time,

I won't reach out.

Ofcourse not because I stopped caring,

but because I've finally understood

that love shouldn't have to beg

to be noticed.

You knew

how excited I get for my birthday.

You knew this month

means more to me than any other.

You knew that the way someone treats me now

stays with me forever.

And still,

you chose silence.

Well this time,

So I'll choose mine too.

Maybe that's what situationships do

they leave you mourning memories

that never existed,

missing a future

that was actually never promised.

I hope one day

I stop looking for you

in the places where you never stayed.

Until then,

I'll carry this quiet ache

like a love letter

that was never sent,

to a relationship

that never had the chance

the cruelest heartbreak

is losing someone you loved.

Maybe it's loving someone

you never got to call yours.

No breakup.

No goodbye.

No last kiss.

No closure.

Just an endless sentence

with no full stop. And you know the craziest part?

You don't have a single idea when that sentence is going to finish.

You were my almost. The person I imagined in places we never went, in memories we never made.

It's funny, isn't it?

How I carry the grief of something that never existed.

I miss a relationship that never took its first breath.

" Wear those noserings, girl and watch me fall for you even harder"

" Wanna spoil her with her fav lippies"

" Don't you ever lose your spark, okay? "

" Chhoti si nose pr bada sa chashma <3 "

" Will always be obsessed with the way she rolls her eye- "

" Will always fall for her straight hair"

" She's so pretty"

" Oh god when she's removes her glasses AAA. have some mercy"

"The most innocent and kindest soul I've ever met"

" HER JAWLINE !!! "

" Her moles, OH GOD "

Those endless forests, lol.

(Just like your eyes- )

Few lines, that I'm gonna carry to my "grave".

Kch bana sako toh, to agle janam mujhe uska bana kar lana

Kuch bna sko toh, use mera banakr lana

Bana sako kch agar toh mujhe uski khushiyan banakr lana,

Jo aap bana sako kuch agar toh uski an-kahi baatein bna kr lana

Bana sako agar kch toh mujhe uski rooh bana kar lana.

Aur

Jo agar kch laa sko to uske jeevan me bohot sari khushiyan lekr aana

Laa sako kch toh use baarish ki boondein bana kr lana

Laa sako kch toh uske dil me mere liye pyar lekr aana

Laa sako agar aap kuch toh uske sath ek lambi shaam le kr aana

Agar laa sako kch toh uska bohot sara waqt lekr aana

and I'll forever be addicted to it.

The silence knows my name now.

It tucks me into nights

where no one asks me to explain

why my heart speaks in whispers.

Self-isolation is a drug,

the kind that doesn't burn your veins,

but somehow slowly convinces you

that empty rooms are safer than crowded hearts.

The world calls it healing.

I call it surviving.

One more quiet morning,

one more unanswered call,

one more excuse to disappear.

Maybe one day I'll miss the sun enough

to open the curtains again.

But until then,

self-isolation is a drug,

and I've learned to mistake

its numbness

We folded our story, but the pages still remember our fingerprints.

We buried the words, yet they bloom in every silence.

You walked away, and somehow, every road still carries your shadow.

If this is the end, why does my heart still wait like a door left slightly open, hoping the wind is you?

Before I Turn 21💌

• 21 things to do before I turn 21.

• 21 lessons I learned at 20.

• 21 memories from being 20.

• 21 things I want to leave behind.

• A letter to my 20-year-old self.

About Me🌻

- 21 favourite things.

- 21 favourite people I've met.

- 21 things I love about myself.

- 21 dreams I'm chasing.

- 21 things I'm grateful for.

Explore & Experience🎌

- 21 flowers I adore and want to see.

- 21 places I must visit.

- 21 foods & drinks I want to try.

- 21 photos I want to recreate.

- 21 drink/random clubs / random decision i wanna experience.

- 21 new experiences to have(it can be anything)

Glow Up💋

- 21 items I want to buy.

- 21-day strict routine challenge.

- 21 healthy habits to build.

- 21 fitness milestones.

- 21 skills I want to learn.

End of 2026🧿

-- 21 movies/series/books to finish before the year ends,

The boy I once loved

cursed my name

as if love had never

lived between us.

Isn't it strange,huh?

The same lips

that once called me

his love,

taught the heavens

to fear my name.

I had whispered

prayers for his happiness

into the quiet of every night.

I asked my angels

to hold him gently

whenever I couldn't.

Yet today,

the boy

for whom I folded

my hands in faith

asked those very heavens

to break me, completely.

Strange,

how love can become

a weapon.

How blessings

can return

wearing the face

of a curse.

I still remember

missing him

in the middle of my own chaos,

searching for his voice

while drowning

in my own storms.

And now,

all I hear

is the echo

of his anger

where my prayers

once lived.

Maybe one day,

he'll look at the sky

and wonder

why it feels so empty.

Maybe one day he'll look at those lillies and

wonder why it's not beautiful anymore.

He'll never know

that there was once

a girl

who had filled it

with prayers for him.

And if my angels

ever answer me,

I won't ask them

to punish the boy

who broke my heart and trust.

I'll only ask them

to let him remember

that before he cursed my name.

it was the name

he once whispered

like a prayer.

Every prayer carried a piece of him.

Every hope had his face. Every tomorrow somehow began with him.

But tonight, the boy for whom I begged the heavens to be kind, begged those same heavens to be cruel to me.

I loved him so quietly that even my angels knew his name.

I read his wordsover and over,waiting for love to appear between them.It never did.

Only curses. Only anger. Only the sound of a heart forgetting, it was once loved.

I don't cry because he left.

I cry because the boy I once believed would protect my soul,became the one asking the universeto break it.

If my angelsare listening,I have no revenge to ask for.

Just one prayer.

Let him never know what it feels like to re read the last message from the person you love,

and realize every "I love you"has turned into

"I hope you suffer."

Because I could have survived being forgotten.

I could have survived being replaced.

I could have survived loving him all alone.

But I don't know how to survive knowing that the boy I once called my answered prayer and "angel".

became the reason I am afraid to pray at all.

Because I could survive

losing the man I loved,

but I never imagined

the same man

would become

the reason

I stopped believing

that love

and somehow, the rain knew your name.

And this droplet echoes your name,

Like you echo in my heart.

I wondered if the rain had found you too.

If it rested in your hair,

kissed your eyelashes,

touched your lips,

As if the sky had waited too long to grieve.

The clouds carried letters they never sent,

And poured them softly upon forgotten streets.

It rained in the end days of June,

the kind of rain that made the whole world forget to hurry.

The streets blurred into silver,

and somehow, every road felt like it was leading to you.

The sky confessed what we never could.

Raindrops traced love letters on my window,

spelling your name in a language

only my heart knew how to read.

If you had been there,

I'd have stolen your umbrella just to keep you close,

letting the rain drench our shoulders

while your fingers quietly found mine.

They say the monsoon arrives to cool the earth.

I think it arrived

because even the sky wanted an excuse

So, she looked at him with teary eyes, dry throat.

But she saw his-

hungry hunter eyes staring at her,

lips wanting more, and him groaning like a beast.

She says, “Baby, can I stop?” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

He brushed a strand of hair away from her face and smiled faintly. He held her as if she was the most fragile thing he has ever touched.

And replied, "what's wrong with you, pretty little lusty angel"

"Look at you,"he said,his voice was low and rough,