Hold my hand, draw a circle on it…

- it’s fun to be awake & in an upright position

- consciousness is a gift

Asa is stuck trying to live a "normal" life; normal response, normal graduation, normal family. the very thing her mother chased her entire life despite living one so far from it. but it sends a very confusing signal to Asa because she knows their life wasn't your orthodox traditional life. her parents weren't a normal married parents, her conception wasn't normal either yet they raised her pretending that they were a "normal family" instead of being truthful and embracing their unique situation. she was raised being told one thing and seeing the opposite; so when her mom wrote "i love you" Asa doesn't know if she actually means it or it's just another mask to present herself as a normal loving mother, it's the same as when she told Asa to make her own choices but in the end, chose a club for her.

My wife pointed out to me the other day that apparently most people were literally only taught how to say Sorry and not how to Apologize or even that they are different things so here.

i HATE self-censorship for a lot of reasons, but being in crisis work makes it even more frustrating. who are you censoring for? like i am being so fr, WHO are you censoring for? have you even thought it through? people who have been raped know that they have been raped. if someone attempts suicide or is grieving someone who did, saying "sewer slide" isn't going to protect them from any of the feelings. a murder victim's family isn't going to feel better bc you said "unalived" instead of murdered. if anything, it's just extremely invalidating and othering. it's saying "what happened to you is so bad that i won't even say the word," which is NOT trauma-informed care. you are not protecting survivors/victims when you self-censor. the ONLY things you protect when you self-censor are the puritanical ideologies that are being encouraged by rich fascists who want your money and obedience