Where Ideas Go to Stall

but somehow we’ve come full circle and there are people who legit defend their right to be anti-recovery there are people who don’t want to get better and spread the idea that you can’t get better as if it’s gospel and it’s fucking frightening to me bc nobody seems to want to say “hey? this is toxic and untrue and is your disease speaking, and it’s not something you should accept.”

and i feel like every recovery post gets about 500 of these people saying “this isn’t something that will work” “cool karen i’m depressed” “maybe it worked for you but it won’t work for other people” and that’s… just… im so sorry if you’re 15. i’m sorry if you’re in high school and watching grown adults tell you it doesn’t get better. that nobody says that with time and help and patience the world stops being so heavy, that accepting your illness as a fact is one thing but accepting it as the only way to be is just wrong, that you can learn to live with it and still find some degree of “happy”…. if i had seen this shit back when i was … oh god starting at 12 when i was already self-harming …. i think i’d have actually honest-to-god killed myself. not a joke, not a funny tumblr punchline, i would have actually just killed myself. 

i’m saying this right here and right now to the adults on this site. if you for any reason shoot down positivity that’s causing no harm - you might have indirectly worsened someone else’s condition, and you should try and do better in the future. if you find it necessary to tell people “recovery is a lie”, you need to do better. i know everyone has different circumstances, but i also know that mental illness behaves in such a way that everyone thinks they can’t recover.  if you feel like you should be spreading the Word Of Relapse, you are causing toxic language to be normalized and you need to do better. 

im team “cool karen ive got depression and that means i’m going to try this because i’ve got to try something” i’m team “romanticize recovery” i’m team “it isn’t working now but it might in the future and it’s worth staying to find out” im team “hey this didn’t work for me but it might help somebody else out”

Halloween Light Show by Tom BetGeorge

Really nice recipes. Every hour.

Another yokai book haul! This time An Introduction to Yokai Culture - Monsters, Ghosts, and Outsiders in Japanese History by Komatsu Kazuhiko. Haven’t given it a read yet, but the book is notable for being one of the few Japanese studies of yokai to be translated in to English so I’m looking forward to digging in.

The bibliography and reading list at the back of the book alone seems to be pretty invaluable, referencing studies both in English and Japanese I’ll be sure to check out when I’m finished with this.

And then I met Dominic when I was 12, and people could see how in love we were. And we got the shit beat out of us. The year I met him, some kids in the grade above me held me down against the bleachers in our gym and stomped on my hand until my fingers broke. Instead of sending me to the nurse, the teacher sent me to the assistant principal to explain the situation. She asked why the kids had beat me up. I said, “They were calling me gay.”

Her response was, “Well, are you?”

My, “I don’t know,” earned a call to my parents, and I was outed. Efforts were made to keep me from seeing Dom. Throughout high school, Dom’s stepmother intensified these efforts. He slept in the basement of the house. Although he was an incredibly talented student, he was prohibited from participating in any extracurriculars. He suffered a lot of physical abuse during those years.

The day he turned 18, he packed up everything he had and walked to my house, and we’ve lived together ever since. Things are better, but they’re not perfect. I’ve had trucks pull up next to me at stoplights and, seeing the pride sticker on my car, through old drinks and garbage into my window. I no longer speak to my dad’s side of the family. I haven’t been to see them for Christmas or Thanksgiving in years. One of my uncles had cornered me at Thanksgiving when I was 17 and said, “I’m not going to judge you, but I’d be happy to break your neck so God can do the judging a little sooner.”

I joined a support group for trans and intersex people. When I joined, 40 people attended regularly. Within the year, the group was half the size it had been. Some couldn’t make it anymore, because they were staying at the shelter, where their stay hinged on them agreeing to instead to attend homophobic sermons. Some were put in correctional therapy. Five of them died. Three of those, I didn’t know, but I knew Alex, the 19 year old who was fag-dragged in Kentucky and died a day later in the hospital, and I knew Stephanie, who went home to Alabama to care for her mom in hospice and was beaten to death with a baseball bat by her mom’s boyfriend.

Tumblr is not reality. The dynamic here does not reflect the dynamic out there. Here’s the part where I finally make a point, and it might be extremely unpopular - but guys, value your allies. Value each other. We are met with enough hate in our daily lives to enter an online safe-space and meet more hate from our own, over petty things. Don’t go after one another over every little thing you find problematic.

Learn to see nuance. Maybe the word “queer” bothers you, and you see a gay man using it as an umbrella term. Maybe someone called a trans man a trans woman because they’re confused about terminology, but the post where they did it was voicing support for the trans community. Maybe someone is just asking a question, wanting to learn more. Stop. Attacking. These. People.

Allies are being driven away. Members of our own community are being ostracized. Others are feeling nervous and estranged, and it’s largely because of places like Tumblr, where the social justice movement is quickly becoming violent and radical. I am begging you, stop nitpicking “problematic” things and start directing your efforts to create real change. When it comes to comes to your allies, forget the “social justice warrior” mentality and put down your torch. Educate calmly. Be respectful. Be understanding. Be forgiving. And I’m certainly not saying that your anger doesn’t have a good place - when you are met with bigots on the street, congress members who want to pass hateful laws, violent protesters, abusive parents, prejudiced teachers, that is when you need to be a warrior. That’s when it counts. In the real world. When you have the opportunity to protect people from real harm. Attacking your would-be allies via anonymous asks is just going to lose us ground in the long run. And we don’t have time for that, not when trans women of color are being murdered every day, not when states are still fighting against marriage equality, not when there are politicians in office who believe that trans people are possessed by demons, not when we’ve just lost 50 brothers and sisters to one gunman, not when the media won’t even admit that the attack was homophobic.

The most popular example, I believe, was accidentally stepping on someone’s foot. Even if your actions were an accident, it doesn’t change how much pain the other person’s foot is in.

What I think people forgot, even as they gleefully shouted INTENT DOESN’T MATTER* from the proverbial rooftops is the concept of appropriate response.  While intent may not change the way words and actions may hurt, it should be taken into account in your response.

To go back to the foot example: no matter how much pain your foot is in after someone steps on it, punching them in the face is unjustified.

fanficwriterghc:

youatemytailor:

imsuggestingcoconutsmigrate:

collidingdreamswithreality:

Reblog if you’re old enough to get this

Laughter.  Horrified laughter.

oh god you still haunt my dreams

That should not be as funny as it is.

Oh my goodness, I had erased this from my mind. I want my selective memory back!

JUDGED (PART TWO): AN OVERVIEW OF PROGRAM COMPONENT SCORES (PCS) IN WHICH I EXPLAIN HOW KATSUKI YUURI IS A PRESENTATION GOD

I got a request from a lovely anon to break down Program Component Scores. If you know nothing about the judging system, you can check out my introduction to the ISU system here. And my introduction to Grade of Execution (GOE) here.

The Program Component Score is meant to replace the old “Presentation” or “Artistic” score that existed under the 6.0 system. It is there to make sure that the artistic side of the sport is paid attention to and that the sport doesn’t get too jump happy (which it’s totally doing anyway).

The Program Component Score is broken down into five categories or components. (I unashamedly stole these descriptions from the ISU website)

1. Skating Skills-which is the overall quality of the skating ability (e.g. balance, cleanness and sureness, flow, edges, multi directional skating, power)

2.Transition/Linking Footwork and Movement-which is the variety, difficulty and purposeful use of intricate footwork, positions, movements and holds that link all elements.

3. Performance/Execution- the physical and emotional involvement of the skater/couple as they deliver the intent of the music and composition (e.g. carriage, style, personality, variety, contrasts, projection).

4. Choreography/Composition- an intentionally developed and/or original arrangement of all types of movements according to the principles of musical phrase, space, pattern, and structure (e.g. idea, concept, unity, pattern, phrasing, originality, design)

5. Interpretation- is the personal, creative, and genuine translation of the rhythm, character and content of music to movement on ice.

To read, in detail, about what each component entails, here is an official memo from the USFSA which breaks each down.

During competition, each judge assigns a skater a score between 0.00 (you would basically have to not skate to get a zero)-10 (as the highest) in intervals of .25 points (so you can get a 5.25 as a score, but not a 6.15 or something).

There are nine judges on a panel, but the two outlying scores for each component are tossed (the highest score and the lowest score). The average of the scores is then factored through the same equation as the technical scores, so that, in theory, the presentation side of the program is of equal weight and importance to the score as the technical side (jumps, spins, etc.)

The technical scores are not capped, but the highest score a male competitor can get is 100 for his PCS (free program, 50 for the short) and the Ladies are capped at 80 (free program and 40 for the short). This is due to a difference in how the male scores are factored vs. the ladies, I believe. 

The program component scores are much more open to judges interpretation than the technical elements and they can really help or hurt your score.  

For instance, lets take a look at Yuuri’s score card. This is the example scorecard they use to explain judging in Episode 4…but I’m not sure what competition this is from cuz they gave him -2 GOEs on the triple axel but I’m pretty sure it’s from a short program. 

Note: You can see a clean version of the score card here, on @yoimeta‘s blog. It’s a really cool blog a) because i’m mentioned (kidding) but b) there’s just a lot of fun thinking and great posts. You also get to listen to the soundtrack while you scroll! So check it out and show some love!

But regardless, he is a PCS GOD. Back off JJ, Yuuri is the King of the PSC and he’s not sorry. Look at these scores! Nothing below an 8.00 across the board, and he hasn’t even hit his stride int he show yet. He even gets a 9.75 for interpretation (which would probably get thrown out as an outlier) but that’s crazy. His total PCS for this program, which was not great, is less than eight points away from perfection. 

Victor isn’t even kidding when he suggests they downgrade some of the quads in Yuuri’s program and count on the PCS early in the season…because our precious Katsudon would just fry the competition anyway if he skated clean. (Yes, that was a food pun. I am not ashamed). 

47.93

2.07 points shy of perfect.  I wish they’d shown us the score breakdown for Rostelecom because damn.  God doesn’t quite cover it.

Quad Axel: No one

Quad Lutz: Victor, Christophe

Quad Flip: Victor, Yuuri

Quad Loop: Victor (exhibition only), JJ, Emil, Seung-gil

Quad Salchow: Most everyone (Notable exceptions: Phichit, Leo, Guang hong, Minami)

in the past 7 days I have seen all of the following from fairly respected leftist bloggers (+ one anon) coming out of the woodwork: 

-saying bi women inevitably end up with men (this is totally great and encouraging and not at ALL going to foster depression, self loathing and hopelessness in bi women on here who are already hearing this narrative from heterosexual society and are doing their best to embrace / unrepress from / become comfortable with their attraction to women lmao) 

-saying it’s bi women’s fault when they end up in abusive relationships with men because apparently they should’ve based all their relationship choices on cold calculated politics not (g-d forbid) ever a human feeling, and that bi women who’ve survived abuse from men are “the reason bi women are untrustworthy”

-saying that all of bi women’s relationships w/ men are somehow comfortable and socially embraced, while blatantly ignoring the fact that bi women are coerced into traumatizing relationships with men / experience violent homophobia (that uhhh might put them under pressure/in harms way & influence their relationships) just like we experience those things as lesbians

-talking out of both sides of their mouth saying things like “embrace lesbians who’ve been forced to date men / are just dating women for the first time” all day long but then also saying bi women who have dated men are traitors to LGBT whose attraction to women is damaged (seriously the type of language some you use often isn’t suitable for talking about human beings pls analyze that)

-saying that bi women’s attraction to men is “something they should control” and “a flaw” (see above note about language and dehumanization)

-saying that bi women’s love for and relationships with women are below the level of lesbians’ or “less whole and healthy” because they have been attracted to men before 

-outright laughing at bi women when they try to point out that maybe a post joking about “lol bi women would totally support a bisexual pornhub category if that happened, how reactionary” is a little fucked up seeing as “bisexual porn” for the male gaze already exists and is already putting bi women in harm’s way and contributing to violence against them, and bi women are already speaking up against this - so to mock about how they would totally support and absolve that concept is a slap in the face especially to bi survivors of sexual violence. 

-while we’re at it this whole concept and attitude that bi people are the most reactionary group and that bi-ness is inherently less radical reeks of the most reactionary strains of “radical” feminism and some of you are up to your knees in it (reread the above point about how it’s weird to center humor around how you think most bi women would automatically fall in line and support something that exploits them)

^ all of these I’ve seen/heard from people showing their true colors in the last week. what is going on with y’all? 

this is what happens when you get so carried away with separatism and nursing your own wounds in unhealthy unproductive ways in an irrational echo chamber, that you start treating other women (who, while they have some different experiences, share a MULTITUDE of both positive experiences and experiences of oppression with you) like lower than human. 

some of this came from bloggers who regularly advocate for abuse survivors and against violence against women too, so like wow isn’t that fresh and hypocritical seeing as half of the items on that list are abuse apologism and/or harsh disrespect to bi survivors. 

hey….

nothing you ever read, watch, or participate in will be ideologically pure and without its problems. your quest to consume the most unproblematic material will be, in the end, fruitless. your enjoyment of anything will be sapped away, leaving you a husk starved for media.

 it is okay to enjoy things that have problems to them, so long as you do it critically and with an open mind, and take care to consider others.