As you know, this blog, and everything it has blossomed into is an expression of my sensuality, sexuality and desire to create. I do my best to show up as genuinely and authentically as possible - I know there are a lot of people trying to exploit our space and as a person who has known that I am a feeder and FFA since I was about 3 or 4 years old I take showing up wholly and honestly very seriously.
I want to share a little thing about myself - every year for the last 5 years I attend Cirque du Soleil when it comes to my city. For me it's a pilgrimage to the mecca of physical creativity. I went this week, and for the first time in my attendance of Cirque, I reflected not just on the breath taking set design, visual storytelling and music - but on the human body.
For the first time in my life I am at a point where I am accepting that my sexual desires, are not walking with the rest of society. I looked at those incredible athletes, doing things no human body should be capable of doing and I admired their lines, the aesthetic they created for the sake of narrative - but wholly unattracted to the man with muscles on his muscles and abbs that probably had their own mini set of abs somewhere. I also noticed that for the first time in my life, I was not jealous of the gymnasts and their petite physique- I was really quite happy in that moment being as I am.
Instead, my eye naturally drew itself to the hefty men with bellies who were swinging the little ladies around and hauling equipment. I noticed the chubby mariachi band member and wanted to look at him instead of the buff array of performers elsewhere on the stage.
As I looked at these people, what they have done to their bodies to become some of the worlds most elite acrobatic performers, I thought of my piggies and thier bellies. I thought about how we do the exact oposit of these people - and it brings us to bliss and utter fullfilment.
Truly, I am so happy that I am a feeder, and that finally after a life time of self denial, confusion, and repressed desire I am here, with you, feeding you fatter and being present for every pound along the way.
theartofmadeline
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