Something And Nothing.

Maybe it's because he has been the closest thing to what I've had always been wishing.

I think I’m so hopeless but at the same time I feel like I am full of it, i do have hope, like a .01% which it feels huge and all of that point cero, one percent I give it to you (to us?). You haven’t left my mind and it’s been over a year and I feel foolish and dumb, but beyond of all of that I feel degraded, I feel unwanted, not worth it. I often think that It’s you… maybe you were emotionally unavailable or sometimes I think that I’m pretty awesome, and when I stop to think more deeply, I just keep asking my self, so… why are you alone?, why am I not good enough? Why can’t someone share the feeling of (pour all of my self, my feelings, my days, my nights, pour all of the loving That i have inside) with me? Why do I have to keep hoping for stupid romantic scenarios? At the end of the day I feel wasted and lonely. I’m a hopeless romantic. It’s not fair maybe after all I am the one who is emotionally unavailable Someday, I just have…I must be patient* ( it feels wrong) and while the wait its going, I must work on my self. And with that, it’s what I tell my self to peace my mind and go to sleep. And it annoys me that that’s the big part of my day, stupid cute romantic scenarios, I’m in love of the idea of me one day having someone who would love me unconditionally and being happy, I’m willing to put my happiness into another person and that it’s so fucked up and stupid to say, to write, to think… A waste of mind.