yeehaw

Why am I like this…….

Secrets Can Kill: the villain isn’t even introduced as a character until the game is 98% done so basically 98% of the game is spent trying to trigger the introduction of the villain

Stay Tuned For Danger: the only person you can trust is Ralph

Message in a Haunted Mansion: if you’re a conservative Christian you can actually get through this game without the seance just don’t talk to Abby anytime at night

Treasure in the Royal Tower: YOUR ROOM NUMBER IS 205

The Final Scene: Sgt. Ramsey does literally nothing helpful in the slightest

Secret of the Scarlet Hand: Enjoy Henrik while you can

Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake: it’s got the most blatant reference to alcohol in an ND game so make sure to get Nancy hecka turnt

The Haunted Carousel: just do whatever Miles tells you to do

Danger on Deception Island: just do whatever Hilda tells you to do

Secret of Shadow Ranch: the ominous warning about the “storms” from Aunt Bet and Uncle Ed is 100% irrelevant.

Curse of Blackmoor Manor: there is no way to avoid Ethel so you’re pretty much screwed no matter what

Secret of the Old Clock: pretty obv from this game that Nancy is the 1% so have fun RPing as that while playing this game

Last Train to Blue Moon Canyon: an octopus tentacle is apparently not a “hand from the deep”

Danger by Design: YOU CAN SELL STUFF BACK TO THE VENDORS

Creature of Kapu Cave: if you think frass sorting is boring and once you’re done you’ll get to enjoy the actual game suckstosuck because the whole game is frass sorting and once you finish frass sorting you’re done with the game

White Wolf of Icicle Creek: there is no getting around cooking sorry

Legend of the Crystal Skull: if you think collecting eyeballs is boring and once you’re done you’ll get to enjoy the actual game suckstosuck because the whole game is collecting eyeballs and once you finish collecting eyeballs you’re done with the game

Phantom of Venice: literally everyone in this game is/has been involved in something illegal

Haunting of Castle Malloy: keep in mind that in this game jetpacks are a real thing that work 100% safely

Ransom of the Seven Ships: you know those instructions you get at the beginning of the game that say all you need to do is find El Toro’s treasure and you’ll get Bess back? they’re completely accurate.

Warnings at Waverly Academy: despite the game revolving around a “black cat” there are no actual cats

Trail of the Twister: get an engineering degree before a forensics degree since that’ll help you solve the mystery better

Secrets Can Kill: REMASTERED!: you can just trial and error hitting the right buttons in order to open up the box under the chair in the library

Shadow at the Waters Edge: go away and get a snack anytime Takae is talking

The Captive Curse: don’t expect an explanation for the curse that’s lasted hundreds of years bc you’ll only get one for some minor crimes lasted a couple of years

Alibi in Ashes: imagine Detective Ryan being played by BJ Novak and your experience will go up by 350%

Tomb of the Lost Queen: don’t ask me i for advice i don’t remember anything about this game 

The Deadly Device: Herinteractive doesn’t create 3d models of whole characters just do some crappy “video call” thing at the beginning of the game.

Ghost of Thornton Hall: Literally everyone in this game is literally high

The Silent Spy: if you’re an Si be prepared to cry your eyes out

The Shattered Medallion: there is no mystery. there is no plot. and you’ll still be disappointed in the explanation at endgame.