Ashley Stewart

#thehat

Not trying to start a war of worlds with words Nor compete in one that's already existing already without me I don't feel the hate that you spit your game about I don't feel the pitiful pain you play your rhymes on I take that back - it hurts when life doesn't immediately pan out The way Ive imagined in movies so meticulously I can't seem to forget The verbal seduction seems to actually religiously suck me straight in By all of the people out there voicing with conviction about wearing their heart on their sleeve Their imagery makes me think About the time I was expecting to die on a Monday When this guy I won't say who drove straight by me and waved to me like he knew me on the freeway I saw him writing some blah blah down on the rag and watching me sing along to what came on my never randomly run radio Come on I can keep a secret - what was it you were expecting to see? Were you writing along to a beat? Please I want the truth I could use some weird kinda universal conspiracy proven to me as if to keep me from going crazy I was dropping the financial bibles off to their temple The place I knew I should have flown straight over and away from Now what? Looks like I'm left dreaming in your metaphorically woven algorithm Set out to intimidate in between what sounds like an honest appreciation for the life you were given Yeah I know I'm looking a little hopeless in my emotions some might say I could use a little less of Thanks for putting me through the precursor of can I give it up? Let's call it my resilience and fight ability sensor only I can condone Yeah I heard you telling me to keep on keeping on as my world was Going down in the smoke and flames you helped me magically float through I never put blame on strangers or name names I plead for non-violence but now that I think about it how else do you train someone to get through this? The passivity epidemic society constructed from controversial inevitable differences they can't get over its madness I appreciate what you're doing if my theory is correct - that you're fighting the going through the motions of corrosion to get the hard to reach to wake up and smell the roses I second that and I am not lying when I say girls should be born with the confidence to step outside feeling beautiful not wearing a pound of make up And for the record I breathe in for privacy and out for harmony so maybe I am praying in vain because hiding behind the veil of paint isn't so bad after all? we all play our own game I just hope it's not the material things we lay our lives on the line for Those new shoes ignorantly prayed for actually hurt like hell until we break em in like we might actually own Em or something scratch that everything is borrowed The dollars you work your life for, forgive me I sometimes wonder what some ladies even have babies for when ten years later they are complaining about feeding them and making sure they make it to school on time and they can't make it to the gym While the church Keeps fighting about the right to life as I try to escape this war zone of holier than thou entities ruining the innocent lives of the little ones stolen from homes to be man-handled by I hope to god are never dubbed the title of saint So now I hypothesize aggressive words heard then thought about help under-appreciated loners get their individuality together and combined into divine energy to be honed so they have something to believe in and grow for. Thank you.

I can do whatever I want to.

"I'll come running...." #listening #oncall #kingsofleon @spotify

My worst fear - I'll admit it here Having all my actions, thoughts and what-nots Added up and broken down one by one for my mom and dad They didn't mean to have a kid who messed up and went mad The music making money machine I can't help but see Is the radio the yall smile at when you snap your little selfies Look at that beautiful soul inside and tell yourself you're happy Are you, precious? I mean honestly? You are something more than you give yourself credit for No matter how far you've gone before Push it harder, let it go, run wild, then be still And know that God is watching when you follow your will The words you crank and bump mindlessly I wish youd take just a minute to try and understand You are what you eat, think, breathe and rightfully dream Shown to the world in your words and mind-eye's company Am I the only one who sat pathetically in pain with judgments? Just to realize I am what I've done, who I am now and what I still read Should I be embarrassed that to God now only I plead For forgiveness of my sins and mercy for what might happen When I let myself go like the only way I know how By Telling my stories to the world so I don't go crazy My headaches don't need your soul sucking pain killers - horsey tranquilizers I wish we'd all just believe in peace green the lucky ones put in their vaporizers Don't be afraid if evil makes itself known to you Or it will haunt you - God must look out for the outlaws too and all their flaws As much as those of you on the straight and narrow Doing exactly what you think you're supposed to do A wise guy says - "even a good man must wear a mask" That how I've justified the make up chicks wear like cake pain in my ass But I'll wear it for my own reasons and bat my eyelashes I am girl dreaming of getting swept away by my Prince Charming Don't break my heart with your stupid nonsense About how to do it just right to win a popularity contest We all have our own reputation and dignity to protect It's up to you what you pay attention to and put into your context I thought I was supposed to be a dancer But then I think about this literary disaster Making statements about hating and never really appreciating Makes me wanna burn down houses for fun - they're all just depreciating anyway Do what ya gotta do but don't go out of your way For what you'll never find or hear someone honestly say Meditate on what comes naturally Let the chips fall where they may When I'm scared I go to church I hope God will even forgive a whore like me Was it my fault that I didn't understand How to protect myself from lust's forceful hand? Maybe I am just an animal raging Like the green goblin I saw in a dream He told me to do exactly what I was supposed to Then vanished as he was laughing at me All I could think was how rude??! At the time I'm obviously lost at sea and the last thing I need is something silly mocking me It's a vision I still see but hey - I'm all good Not locked in a prison I'm still free and semi-happily breathing (If you don't get it come get at me or just ask me) -- Ashley

May I?? (at Urban Outfitters)

Arctic Monkeys - "You're So Dark" .... Not sure if these are the exact words they're saying bc I may have convinced myself of something else but this song does something to me. For sure.

Selfies are so annoying when done at the gas station before leaving the pump.. Yeah, Hunny, you're cute, but you'd be even cuter if you weren't holding up traffic to document your teenage-soul... at the gas station of all places. Nonetheless, I don't judge anyone in the off chance that's another secret divine way to "get there" that God hasn't informed me of. To each her (his) own.

And then this week started to come around and I freaked out. Sound familiar? I am allergic to cats. At least my bias towards dogs has always stayed consistent...

God Bless and thank you for listening.

Where is the TV? In front of me or next to me or behind me?

For those who don't know how to follow their heart.

Exit Ashley. No words.