Shitty MCU Aus

Darcy Lewis is actually a secret double agent on the run from several international intelligence agencies.

Steve starts drawing a little comic about a boy and his stuffed teddy bear for the newspaper

The MCU queerbaits us to super hell & back in Falcon and the Winter Soldier

Steve Rogers is actually the Elf on the Shelf

Bruce Banner turns into Kermit when he gets angry

Thor is a professional tuba player. It never comes up bc it’s not directly relevant to his plot line

Steve goes by Stephe. It’s pronounced the same, it’s just shitty bc the Starbucks baristas never spell it properly 

Tony wears a toupee

Peter was bitten by a radioactive parking garage. Peter Parker-man

Natasha opens a very fancy restaurant but every time there’s a major battle happening she forgets to turn off the stove :/

Bucky’s replaced by a giant Oreo

Spiderman is forcefully removed from the MCU

Everything is the same except Tony Stark is replaced by Shrek