Did Someone say RP Memes?

Pizza is working on some sentence prompt lists.

Every other month, Pizza must endure eating in a densely-filled Golden Corral. Always on a Sunday. Always during the after-church rush. We endure because we love our mother. It is still a hell we are not fond of...

Miss, can you explain to my husband that not everyone makes mac 'n' cheese like this.

Oh, no.

Don't bring me into your conversation.

I just refill the drinks and grab the empty plates.

I told you not to bother the server, (insert name).

I'll just ask someone else.

Or you can just put a forkful of food in your mouth and leave strangers alone.

In which Pizza merges several unfinished things in their Drafts including random things Pizza has said to their spouse, and friends have said to Pizza then flung them together into a listy for y’all to use. just cleaning out old unfinished things... change pronouns if you need to. Have Fun ♥

“Cheers, love! The average gay is here!”

"I live near the woods so I get my skeletons wholesale."

"I got a package for you"

“It is a well documented fact how much of a pain in the ass you are, my love.”

“Cannibal Claus, he eats you while you’re sleeping.”

“Okay, I get it. You expect Chicken Parmesan with fucking spaghett  (dramatic pause) Teeeeeeeee!”

“Man. Always something when one is trying to life their life.”

It’s just like riding a viking, right?

In which Pizza has a chatter with their over-tired nephew who refuses to nap. Picture a belligerent drunk yelling incoherently. Same thing really. Change pronouns as you need.

Enjoy.

Hey!

You hollered?

Hey. Hey, give me that.

No, sir.

That!

It's not safe, my dude.

That. I want that thing there.

I said no.

Give it now.

It's made of glass, I'm not giving it to you little buddy.

I want it. Give.

Yeah, not happening.

I'll yell now.

Still not letting you have it.

Hey! Hey! That!

Someone needs a nap.

Pbbbbbbbt...

Fair point, sleepless one.

Up! Up!

That, now?

Yeah, that's still a no.

Because Pizza remembered they hadn’t done a Chinese Zodiac in a long bit... a collection of quotes and sentences from various sources. It is fair to assume none of these belong to Pizza.

“An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger.”

“In me the tiger sniffs the rose.”

“Some people regard private enterprise as a predatory tiger to be shot.

“In waking a tiger, use a long stick.”

“If you rile a tiger, he’s going to show his claws.”

“Wooing the press is an exercise roughly akin to picnicking with a tiger.”

“You might enjoy the meal, but the tiger always eats last.”

“They just think I’m a strange tiger who walks on two legs.”

If we choose to walk into a forest where a tiger lives, we are taking a chance.

“If I produce a 450-pound Bengal tiger, it’s going to create a lot more wonder than if I produce a rabbit.”

“Be cautious of bears at all times, even when being mauled by a tiger.”

“Everyone needs a dog to adore him, and a tiger to bring him back to reality.”

“You know, tigers are very unpredictable.”

“God made the cat to give man the pleasure of stroking a tiger.”

Pizza has risen from their long ass slumber to bring you more dialogue from Pizza’s ‘never going to finish this cringe’ fic. As mentioned before Pizza hates wasting words so here have some words kids...

That was completely reckless, ____.

No more than you coming to the restaurant.

I’m not the one that is supposed to be fish food, my friend.

What I did was a lark.

It isn’t fair that you can be seen in public.

Is it too much to ask that I get a chance to see you sing?

The place is filled with people who want to kill you.

It was reckless of me.

I seem to always forgive you.

I have to go, call me tomorrow.

It goes down tomorrow.

I’ll call you when the dust settles.

I can’t do another sleepover night.

You gave the okay.

She asked nicely.

Am I getting soft?

You’ve been training her to be a killer.

It’s nice to let her be a child once in a while...

I suppose we can go back to my place. It’s quiet there.

____ wouldn’t let them serve me alcohol.

The bitch really hate me, huh?

To be fair you were stalking me.

I got the impression you enjoy being my lover, was I wrong?

Why is his song so sexy?

Are you saying you don’t like our song?

mostly out of context things or things said when Pizza is half-awake or the brain was being weird. change pronouns if you need to, enjoy.

I don’t give a flying ass.

Oh, point and shoot. I thought you said point and shit.

You, sir, are the washer whisperer...

You are not supposed to eat the shampoo.

There is nothing left to expel from my anus and yet my stomach insists.

Pizza is basically salad.

Remember, it is more important to eat dinner than it is to not eat dinner.

It me. Glub, Blug I am fish.

It’s my skin not yours.

Pippety, Poppety, Poo. My Joints just cracked for you!

I'm not fat. I am a ball of condensed rage.

Have some bloody sentence starters. Some pulled from various media, some made up by Pizza. An extra slice for you if you can tell which is which...

That is a lot of fucking blood, dude.

Blood alone moves the wheels of history.

Oh, the blood? It’s mine.

Pretty sure that’s not ketchup...

I mean, he was holding a bloody knife...

“We are linked by blood, and blood is memory without language.”

“Blood is the rose of the mysterious union.”

“Everybody is a book of blood; wherever we're opened, we're red.”

“Blood is really warm, it's like drinking hot chocolate but with more screaming.”

"All the soarings of my mind begin in my blood."

Well, I’m certainly not on my period, moron.

yet another daily conversation with Pizza’s purrsistant (fucking couldn’t resist the pun, not sorry) feline friend

Fucking ow.

Why are you stabbing my side?

I want to get on the big space in front of you.

You mean my desk?

I mean my nap spot.

I am writing at the moment.

That’s nice.

Later, okay?

Sure, sure. I’ll be over here.

Ow. That’s right on the ribs.

Oh good. you’re done.

I’m just going to hop up now.

What? No. I’m still working on this... later, later.

It’s later now.

So, I am up here now.

Please get down.

I can’t. I need to lay down on the big space right now.

Fine, then lay down over there so I can finish this up.

No. Here’s fine.

I can’t type with you laying on my arms.

because we hate wasting words even if we personally hated their initial creation... 

I should not have talked about sex.

Talking about it was a bad idea.

Do you really think I’m pretty?

I was worried it might be someone I wouldn’t like...

It would have been awful if it had been forkbutt guy.

I couldn’t let him kiss me.

I’d probably end up stabbing him a lot. With the fork.

____, they were making fun of us.

No, no, no. Put the knife down.

Because they have guns.

You won the fight, time to calm down now.

They were laughing.

They’re not laughing anymore are they?

I tried to watch in the mirror but I kept closing my eyes.

No, we can’t do that in here.

Please just leave them outside the door.

You can’t just tell people you’re doing sex stuff.

Oh, I guess I forgot that part.

The last time a boy put his tongue in my mouth I bit it off.

I don’t think he liked that. Not one bit.

Sometimes you write things and for some reason or other you never share them. Could be because you fell out of love with the fandom it was for or you wrote some pretty epic cringe. In this instance, we can assume Pizza wrote something that would be cringe inducing (parts did get shared unfortunately). but hey mining our failures and recycling stuff is fun right? Right?!

She was a bad lady.

Most people are noisy and chatter about nonsense.

What are you staring at?

I doubt camping is on his mind, his parents are dead.

I would just shrug and he’d pitch a tantrum.

I didn’t want to hurt him so I dropped the fork.

That bitch tried to kill me with a fork!

Dude, you got a fork in your ass. That’s rich.

Well, you can’t take a young lady into the men’s room...

Why did you attack that jerk?

Is this where you kiss me and I swoon?

I don’t know how to respond to that.

It was weird the camera was constantly on their privates.

I didn’t swoon.

Some of the books mention knees buckling...

You didn’t say all of that did you?

Of course you did...

Mentioning the porn flick was probably not the best way to catch their interest.

I told them they ask dumb questions and left.

A list of first lines of dialogue from books that Pizza is trading in for other books. Extra cheese for you if you figure out the books they are from... (goes without saying but saying it anyhow We don’t own these)

“Pinch me and you’re dead meat.”

“Hello?”

“If you slip me decaf, I’ll rip your head off.”

“Okay, so he’s a werewolf.”

“How does that make you feel, ____?”

“____, please be seated.”

“What happened to your arm?”

“Now, ___, how may I help you today?”

“Piss me off, pay the consequences.”

“I heard on the news there’s a movement...”

“You need more make-up.”

“What time is it?”

“You’re sure you missed October?”

“Define good.”