Adventures in Godville

Got a VIP/RIP card from death. It reads: "Since you already know your way around, make yourself comfortable".

I would like to thank my parents, my agent, my guildmates, fellow heroes, and most of all my Goddess. Without their love, support and constant vigilance, I just wouldn't be where I am today. Dead.

Other heroes love it when I draw the letter 'X' on the ground. They swarm around it as soon as I leave, cheering excitedly, with shovels in their hands.

Tried to picture nothingness, but drew a blank.

I guess I can't have everything. Where would I put it?

I can't sleep, Almighty. Can I please have a glass of water? And could you read me a story? And I need another blanket, because this one is too itchy.

Ran with scissors. Nearly died.

Sold everything except my soul. The trader didn't want it, even when I tried to throw it in for free.

Great One, I remember very little of last night, except partying like there was no tomorrow. Looking back, I'm glad I did, because there wasn't.

How the heck am I writing this, with my body lying several feet away from my head and all...

Glued a sword handle to a large rock, then sat back giggling as I had hours of fun watching hero after hero waste their time pulling on it.

My brain fell out again. Gosh, it's hard to keep an open mind.

'Watch where you tread!' the monster said. It hit my head; I may have bled. I turned and fled. My face is red, but I'm not dead.

Heard some other heroes talking about getting stuck in walls and skipping milestones. I'm not too bothered. I've got 99 problems but a glitch ain't one.

Umm... What was I writing again?

The Possessed Exorcist challenged me to use double negatives. I couldn't not do it. Then I didn't not kill it. Now I won't not take this loot.

Where's page 404 of my diary? I can't find it.