Fuck!

Do I go?  Do I stay?

In some ways I miss that place.  Then there are times where I wish I could erase it from my mind.  It's a love/hate relationship with that shit hole.  I have done five combat tours and here I am, still alive.  This would be number six.  What are my odds of coming back?  Do I want to gamble on this?  Statistically I should have died a few years ago. 

Statistics. If I go or not, I'll still be a statistic.  Either a dead one, or a living one.  Either way I'll be labeled and someone somewhere doing research will  compile a bunch of numbers and I will be one of them.  I will be x% of this or x number of that.

I guess I want to go back because that's the only time I feel alive.  People say that you never truly live until you're face to face with death.  I don't... I don't belong here.  I don't fit into our society anymore.  I should probably go back.  

1: Age: 28? 29? 30? One of those.

2: Shoe Size: 8.5.  Yup, I have lady feet.

3: Do you Smoke: Nah.

4: Do you Drink: Yes, just not often.  My last drink was back in September.

5: Do you take drugs: Only those prescribed for PTSD.

6: Age you get mistaken for: Late teens, cuz I'm short.

7: Have Tattoos: Yeah, I got a few.

8: Want any tattoos: Always!

9: Got any Piercings: Does being shot count as a piercing?

10: Want any Piercings: Nah.

11: Best friend: Nope!

12: Relationship status: Non-existant

13: Biggest turn ons: Piercings

14: Biggest turn offs: Smoking

15: Favorite Movie: Interview With A Vampire

16: I’ll love you if: I pay you enough? Fuck, I don't know.

17: Someone you miss: No one.

18: Most traumatic experience: I guess combat.

19: A fact about your personality: I hate people.

20: What I hate most about myself: I'm fuckin' short.

21: What I love most about myself: I have a wicked sense of humor.

22: What I want to be when I get older: Rich?

23: My relationship with my sibling(s): Talk to them here and there.

24: My relationship with my parent(s): Talk to them daily.

25: My idea of a perfect date: If it involves bikes, I'm down.

26: My biggest pet peeves: Lip smacking when eating.

27: A description of the girl/boy I like: This survey is getting annoying.

28: A description of the person I dislike the most: Whoever made this survey.

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend: I wanted to go race at the track instead.

30: What I hate the most about work/school: Everything.

31: What my last text message says: "Hahaha! Yes.  This is 100% accurate.

32: What words upset me the most: People get upset over words?

33: What words make me feel the best about myself: Seriously, words affect people that much?

34: What I find attractive in women: Lips.

35: What I find attractive in men: I don't?

36: Where I would like to live: Anywhere but here.

37: One of my insecurities: I'm a short li'l dude, man.  C'mon!

38: My childhood career choice: Hitman or assassin.

39: My favorite ice cream flavor: Mint Chocolate Chip

40: Who wish I could be: Me, cuz I'm awesome.

41: Where I want to be right now: Isle of Man would be nice.

42: The last thing I ate: 12" meetball sub from Subway!

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately: Jolene Van Vugt

0: Height:

1: Age:

2: Shoe Size:

3: Do you Smoke:

4: Do you Drink:

5: Do you take drugs:

6: Age you get mistaken for:

7: Have Tattoos:

8: Want any tattoos:

9: Got any Piercings:

10: Want any Piercings:

11: Best friend:

12: Relationship status:

13: Biggest turn ons:

14: Biggest turn offs:

15: Favorite Movie:

16: I’ll love you if:

17: Someone you miss:

18: Most traumatic experience:

19: A fact about your personality:

20: What I hate most about myself:

21: What I love most about myself:

22: What I want to be when I get older:

23: My relationship with my sibling(s):

24: My relationship with my parent(s):

25: My idea of a perfect date:

26: My biggest pet peeves:

27: A description of the girl/boy I like:

28: A description of the person I dislike the most:

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend:

30: What I hate the most about work/school:

31: What y last text message says:

32: What words upset me the most:

33: What words make me feel the best about myself:

34: What I find attractive in women:

35: What I find attractive in men:

36: Where I would like to live:

37: One of my insecurities:

38: My childhood career choice:

39: My favorite ice cream flavor:

40: Who wish I could be:

41: Where I want to be right now:

42: The last thing I ate:

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately: