Shit DaveX Says

MOVED

When the mice are away, the cheese will play.

"Possum wool? No DaveX, you say, that’s like wearing a rat suit! But no. Even Barack Obama wore a possum-wool sweater. I bought one, it’s super comfortable."

Mob kingpins have a very stressful job. Even kingpins know there’s nothing like a velour running suit. You have one of those on? Peace is with you.

You don’t want to eat alligator…it’s like a chicken somebody left in a pond to marinate, it’s gross.

The pork board promised me unlimited bacon!

I can't work my phone's touchscreen while wearing these Kool-aid Man gloves! This is terrible!

If you best me in a fight, you can have a sombrero.

For chrissakes, somebody give these people an acronym.

...and then you wake up in the morning and there's clown makeup smeared over the pillow, and you're like 'WHAT HAVE I DONE'...

It was depressing, but in the funnest way.

The Devil is a patient fisherman, but he needs the proper bait.

Sometimes it’s more important to look good and die quickly.

It's not a party without a giant box of radios and some fire extinguishers!