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@shit-dj-says
DJ broke his foot
So after his surgery he got drugs. His girlfriend sent me the following text.
“Dj took his drugs and started to fall asleep when he was brushing his teeth. He emerged from the bathroom and said, I think someone drugged me make sure I dont get raped.”
He then proceeded to see how long he could fight the drugs from putting him to sleep.
He lost the battle.
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“Nothing says youre doing things like eating a shit ton of carrots in a motorcycle jacket at 2 in the morning”
Dj: I like to take 5 hour energy then try to go to sleep. Me: why? Dj: I like to take drugs then see how long I can fight them.
By the way DJ ran his second Worlds Toughest Mudder in November. He did 45 miles, had a touch of hypothermia, and went through a dust storm, but he smiled the whole time.
Then ate an entire pizza.
"How was your 50k today?"
"It was long"
No shit DJ
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Late night insight
"You can build a thousand of the worlds best bridges but if you suck one dick you're not a bridge builder, you're a dick sucker."
"I thought of that while I was running the 50k today. I thought that if I gave up I wouldnt think of myself as a worlds toughest mudder, I would think of myself as a quitter"
When was his last bowel movement?
He said "8:12-8:15. Thats accuracy."
"I feel like after you insult someone in another language you have to spit."
Dj has returned from his 10th tough mudder.
His words of wisdom:
"Sometimes tough mudders smell weird. My headband smells like a leather store. And sometimes their shirts smell like pickles. Or mentos mint mojito gum."
DJ hate centipedes.
*loud noises in the middle of the night*
Me: Dj? You okay? Did you drop something?
DJ: The couch! Theres a centipede! I'm gonna get it!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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What does DJ eat for breakfast?
I asked him and he said : "Protien shakes, falcon eggs and rocks. With an apple I artistically cut into a swan"
Went downstairs to the kitchen.
And heard Etta James blasting in the work out room.
Theres DJ doing P90X and rocking out to At Last.
Fun Fact
Dj is a certified minster.
He tried to marry some co workers in the back room of his old job once.
So DJ texted me.
Dj: I've got a story for your blog
Me: Do tell.
Dj: So Christina and I were leaving the house through the garage and I saw the newspaper laying in the driveway. And I thought, me being the badass that I am, I was going to get it and throw it into the garage while the door was still going down.
Me: Logical.
Dj: So I hop over the motion censor, the door is still going down, and everything's going good for me. I grab the paper, go into a crouch, and throw it.
Me: Okay okay.
Dj: But then things went wrong. I slipped on the ice, my aim was off from that position and frankly, it landed on the roof.
Me: Oh god Dj.
Dj: Its still up there.
He sent me a picture. That poor boy.
Dj is setting up his work out room for the winter.
Dj: "Ya know, I don't really need these excersize balls, I think I'll just deflate them."
*sits on ball*
Dj: "Its like I'm giving my work out room a vasectomy!"
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Dj bought a kayak on Black Friday.
The mail came today and he received his kayak cart.
To cart his kayak around while he rides it to work.
He was testing it out by riding around the house on it.
While making vroom vroom noises.
He just yelled "oh jesus!" from the kitchen.
Dj successfully completed the worlds toughest mudder last week.
He went 7 laps, a total of 35 miles. So proud.