Here lies shiroganes hopes and dreams

Breathe in, breathe out.

He could do this, he was ready.

They had been sitting there for a good twenty minutes now, in such awkward silence.

Yukisada seemed very content, the silence not bothering him at all. As far as he was aware he was just having a nice moment with a dear friend, and to have Shirogane be quiet would normally worry him, but something didn’t give off that feeling today.

Shirogane on the other hand was on the brink of panicking and trying not to puke just from the nerves. Anxiety making him sweat into the cocoa Yuki had so kindly offered to him. His head was so low it seemed as though he was crying. That was normal for Shirogane, so Yuki assumed that’s what was happening.

The poor wolfs heart was beating in his chest like an engines pistons, blood pumping so fast he could’ve sworn he was on the verge of passing out- but he can’t, he had to say something.

He had to tell Yukisada of his feelings, this hopefully soon-to-be confession had been building up for months. He had attempted so many times before and bailed the last second, god this was so hard.

Shirogane had no idea what to say, well, he did until it came time to say something. His mouth would become dry, his palms would sweat, and worst of all he would draw a complete blank.

Useless! Useless!! Useless!!!

He mentally berated himself, how could he not remember the speech he had planned this whole time?

Yukisada has been the only thing keeping him sort of sane, treating him like a real person where as others would berate and belittle him. He would constantly be made a fool of and reminded of how pathetic he is by every other resident of the Isle- but not Yuki, never by him. He was his one and only most trusted ally and friend. He has no clue why he’s so nice to a wimp like himself, he’s so cowardly and he can’t even give him anything in return for his never ending kindness.

He just wants to tell Yukisada how much he’s been stuck in his head lately, how much he wishes he could be closer than than just friends. How he’s dreamed of such innocent things like holding hands and warm embraces. He even wanted to admit the not so innocent dreams, but those were disgusting and he felt awful just for having had such impure dreams.

He longed to just be able to look into Yukisada’s warm eyes without fear of seeming like a creep, and taking in his wonderful smile- even the thought of it was making his heart beat faster.

The idea of maybe even kissing him sent a shiver down his spine- he would love to pepper him with chaste kisses of appreciation.

Yuki was the only person who truly made him forget about his anger towards himself every so often.

Shirogane loved Yukisada more than he hated himself.

A cough broke the silence, and Shirogane snapped his head up to Yukisada in an instant.

The owl was wiping the table with a napkin, his hand shaking furiously and he coughed, clearing his throat. Looking at him closer, Shirogane began to notice how flushed and wide eyed his friend was.

“Ah--” he began to ask if he was alright but was soon interrupted.

“S-Sorry! I just- I choked on the cocoa! You just-” He was having trouble speaking through the coughing, trying to get the cocoa out of were it shouldn’t be.

Shirogane sat there confused, no longer worrying about confessing, but worrying about Yukisada.

Another minute of throat clearing before Yuki spoke again, “I was just really caught off guard by that last part is all...”

The wolf tilted his head in confusion.

Then it hit Yuki, “Oh- Did you not- did you say that out loud instead of thinking it?”

And then it finally hit Shirogane, the room hadn’t been silent at all. He made himself so nervous, too nervous to think, that he ended up mumbling his entire thought process.

His face began to burn, and he really did think he would pass out.

“I-I’m so sorry I just--”

“P-Please don’t be! It was very sweet! A-And...” Yuki smiled nervously and stared down at his table, “I’m glad that you feel that way- about me I mean! Because- goodness, I really like you too and I would love to be closer to you as well! I was starting to think I would have to be the one to say something.” He said, face still a bit flushed and smile brighter than ever. Shirogane’s eyes widened in disbelief but bright with relief and happiness, which was good because without the emotion in his eyes Yuki would start to worry about how stiff he looks.

The owl rose from his seat and sat himself next to Shirogane, who was just looking at him, still wide eyed, flushed, and sweaty.

He gently placed his hand on the others, and enjoyed his cocoa with his free hand. Shirogane, with a shaking hand, did the same. The cocoa tasted like salt.

“I-I’m sorry to have asked you for this...” “Oh, don’t mention it! You know I don’t mind doing this for you.”

Shirogane stared at the ground, tail uncomfortably nestled between his legs. He felt his face flush with embarrassment as Yukisada help him adjust his binder, which he had foolishly tightened and couldn’t reach to adjust.

He know’s Yuki had no issue helping, in fact, it made it happy to be trusted with things like this, but Shirogane couldn’t bring himself to ask so often. It’s bad enough he couldn’t do anything him in return for something so important to him, and it just made him feel useless.

Yukisada never wants anything in return, and he would hope Shiro would get that by now. He just wants him to be comfortable, and having a binder thats so tight it’s actively crushing his lungs isn’t exactly helping him keep his mind a ease, but he easily loosened it up. The binder itself being a somewhat make shift material he made Shirogane himself, it was better than his previous method of bandages wrapped around him. This one was elastic and let him breathe easily.

Shirogane was still so used to tightening it, he almost found comfort in it until he was forced to say something before he ran of of breath. He was so thankful for Yukisada.

He was a useless good for nothing wolf, but he could at least promise to pay him back somehow for this. But for now, he at least tried enjoying the odd bonding time.

Even though he sat on his tail, it wouldn’t stop wagging.