what In tarnation

the genie won’t be conjuring up large sums of money for me, thus inflating the economy by flooding it and lowering the value of the dollar

i could make it part of the deal that the money is transferred to me legally, so it doesn’t just look like i suspiciously came into a lot of money

i looked up the amount it’s $135 billion like yeah that would look suspicious if i just took that money from jeff bezos

contrary to popular opinion i would leave jeff bezos with enough money to support himself and his family, perhaps even thrive, such as $100 000 a year. that way capitalists won’t make him into a martyr and he has nothing to complain about

i distribute a lot of the wealth instinctively to charities that make a difference globally, because Fuck national borders

i leave $100 tips at every restaurant i go to

i will not spend the money on ridiculous things like extra houses or yachts or sports cars because i am a reasonable human being who understands that literally none of that matters

i’ll use my second genie wish to make sure amazon hires a new ceo that is charitable and generous and also believes in human rights

and then i’ll use my third wish to free the genie. i’ve seen aladdin duh

cons of this plan:

deku: wait let me ask all might

death: it ain't a choic-

deku: he said not today

dabi: you made me cry

shigaraki: baby

dabi: now is not the time for pet names

shigaraki:

shigaraki: i'm calling you a baby

midoriya: okay

[3 minutes later]

all might: no worries, i'll call it for you

phone, ringing from the couch cushions: you are my dad (you're my dad! boogie woogie woogie!)

midoriya:

all might:

shigaraki: no returns