You are a mark of hospitality halfling
You have 7 levels of samurai fighter
You have 6 levels of fiend warlock
You have 3 levels of redemption paladin
You have 3 levels of fey wanderer ranger
You have found two books that bring your wisdom and charisma to 22 respectively
You have spent one feat on skill expert to get expertise in persuasion
Your fighting style is superior technique
Your maneuver is commanding presence
Your cousin, throckmorton, is a wild magic barbarian/wild magic sorcerer/divination wizard/peace cleric
Your other friends are a maxed out Spirits bard, any artificer that is level 7, and a circle of stars druid
You are confronted by a god, and are given 30 seconds to convince them you deserve to live
Your cousin throcky gives you guidance, emboldening bond, a portent of 20, the wild magic sorcerer d4 and the wild magic barbarian d3
Your spirits bard spends one of their inspiration to inspire you and burns one to get a story, rolling a 1
Your artificer promises to do their best, giving you flash of genius for your dialogue
The druid, begrudgingly, offers to assist you with a cosmic omen
You take a deep breath, channel divinity, use your manuever, and beseech your patron for aid
You then roll 1d3+4d4+2d6+1d10+2d12+5+6+20+30
Rolling max on every die, you get 126. It’s just not enough.
Luckily, you had your talisman on you, and because you failed, you roll one more d4.
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