Chalice* (Chal, Alice, Al, Lice) + in 20s^ + He/She or Hy/hym + white(mixed)
Keyblade holder and patron saint of Luna Game. Real life fairy. Mage of Hope.
Artist + writer who happens to be an ICT survivor and an unschool drop out, I survived isolation and I'm making it everyone else's problem. I have DID and am learning to be more open/expressive about my alters. They all have sideblogs but also post here. I grew up on kinblr and had a family that believed I was an earth angel + changling so I've got that kin slop in me. Even after everything, I'm still Sollux Captor. I selfship, I have a billion ocs that I love to talk about, and I am very open about my own personal fetishes, this blog is 18+!
My main special interest has been homestuck since 2011, and FNAF since 2014. But I'm also very into art history, marketing/advertisement, disability history and internet horror.
I post a lot about CSA, rape, incest, antisemetism, physical abuse, emotional abuse, and neglect, all mostly untagged. i cannot tag it, this is my diary. I keep a very small amount of followers on this account. if that might trigger you, please either move on or block this account, and maybe check out my other less personal ones!
Read my "fan"adventure!!! @inflatablehome
Art acc @sodachalice
Old art archive: @toontowncreepypasta
AVA/AVM acc: @rocketco
Beforus acc: @helpsman
Danganronpa v3 acc: @newdanganronpaversionthree
Trolls selfship acc: @teacuptroll
My nsfw acc: @liquidvessel
"Kin mems" acc: @pieceofpleastic
various optional overshare information undercut....
*I use a lot of different names and am still trying to figure out if I want to change this or not. I also go by: Jake, Cain, Starling, Callix, Roxas, Gamble, and various others... this may be subject to change!
This is my tentative kinlist/alter list. While this isn't all of my alters, it's all of the ones I can clearly and significantly identify from eachother. My kinlists are less about the actual character and moreso about the shared tropes and behaviors and thematic connections in between each character categorized together. My brain functions better with color/theme association than it does personification and that's how I'm able to identify things. I like it when I'm treated like my kins, though of course I am always a real person and that shouldn't be compromised.
My main kins (non DID related) can be considered: Stain HL2VRAI, All four of the Captors from homestuck, Orange from AVA, Michael Afton, Jake English, Ouma Kokichi, Jataro Kemuri, Aranea Serket, Vanessa Afton, Frankie KOG, Jude Harley, Kevin WTNV, Derpy, Kankri Vantas, Roxas, Oswald the lucky rabbit and Roger Rabbit.
I'm very strongly "therian" with: Toys and the concept of mascots as a whole, Fairies, Hyrax, Anteaters (Silky anteaters and Tamanduas specifically), Raccoon, Koalas, Red panda, Zebra/Okepai, Tapir, ladybugs, butterflies and most forms of rodents.
I am physically disabled and chronically ill, I experience a lot of chronic pain and it's something I often post about. Recently I have had most of my teeth removed due to neglect and infection from when I was growing up, and am currently in the process of getting dentures. I currently live in poverty and am unable to work, I complain about that a lot. I have a head injury from my childhood that frequently affects my language abilities.
I have a lot of OCs that I love to talk about, though the oc posting is done both here and on my art account. I love to answer asks about my ocs and my alters and my kins, so if you have a question or are interested please feel free to ask!
While not all of my alters want to directly share there blogs on the pinned directly, I figured i'd make a section for those who do.
Movies/Shows: Animator VS Animation, Knights of Guinevere, Trolls (dreamworks), Paprika, Perfect Blue, Invader Zim, Us 2019, Eckva, Mirror Mask, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Fosters home for imaginary friends, Chowder, Last night in soho, Ready or Not, Horse girl, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Iron Lung
Various other things: HLVRAI, Chainsaw man, Red valley podcast, Welcome to nightvale, Homestuck, Fire punch, Houseki no kuni, Tamagotchi,
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you know after like six years of this youd think youtube would just inherently assume i only want to be suggested rtvs videos and circus organ music. and yet.
Man no one even remembers laptop in bed. It was laptop in bed for years. Now it's just phone in bed. Maybe tablet. But usually phone. So much has changed
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there are so many jobs id die for that would genuinely creatively fufill me. ive always wanted to be someone who makes small little figurines/toys and sells them but thats like not a real job. its so frustrating. grrrrrr.
I have a disease called if the author tells me this world is good and then doesnβt examine the power structures involved I start looking for the Omelas hole
Endacopia is a homestuck in the way that whether andyland intended for it to be or not, this game feels very heavily like the exploration of a system. The surgeon being the prosecutor and gatekeeper trying to keep the body alive, Mellow the child alter who is trying to understand the phantoms around him, Rodger being the real child Mellow was, a reflection of the trauma that Mellow can't comprehend that wears his real name. Henry an introject of his father, I find it interesting how Mellows cause of death wasn't the head injury he got falling out of a truck, but a head injury he got from Henry- a non-real spirit that hit him over the head with a mallet. When the Surgeon says Mellow died from a mallet to the head, it doesn't sound like that's the truth to me. What that sounds like is, whether Mellow died from a mallet to the head from a false-father that he just met, or Rodger died from a head injury after falling out of his fathers truck- he was killed by abuse at the hands of his father. How it happened, when it happened, or why wasn't important enough to remember the details of. It could be one or the other, it doesn't reall matter, the person and the intention is what caused his death. The god the Surgeons trying to save is the body, the owner of the system. I keep thinking about how despite Ozzie being the big bad, a serial killer who targets specifically children and mutilates their bodies, parallels both Mellows story and the Surgeons story. both Mellow and Ozzie only find "true peace" after death, embraced by people who they have never met, finding a family they truly wanted. Mellow finds one genuinely, where as you only see Ozzie experience this in his snuff films he made, acting it out. To avoid fighting him, you have to compare yourself to him. You, Mellow, a 9 year old boy who was killed by your fathers negligence have to compare yourself to a large, overgrown adult man who has been killing children your own age to act out the fantasy of having your death experience. Ozzie and The Surgeon also stitch people back together, creating puppets to create their own stories. Mellow himself is one of these puppets The Surgeon created, Mellow is almost exactly like those corpses that Ozzie uses as puppets. The only difference is that The Surgeon resurrected Mellow presumably out of duty, maybe some sort of empathy for him, a desire to keep the god alive. Ozzie puppeteer his corpses not out of love and empathy for the children he used for them, but out of a selfish desire to tell his own life story through the corpses of others. Every character is the same character.
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i think there is something eerie and interesting about the way that death is treated as a neutral, but surviving is seen as inherently bad. the only option for mellow there even is IF he survives, the only ending where he DOES survive....he's forced to live back at home with his parents who abuse him and his siblings. the "neutral" ending is the saddest one to me, he's forced to go home, no one cares where he's been or what hes gone through, he's grounded for falling out of a truck and getting lost, and the only comfort he finds is telling his experiences through making up bedtime stories for his little sister. the "good" ending implies he's still dead. he's free, he has a family, he has friends, hes safe now, but he's dead. he's been absorbed into the idea of mellow, with the rest of the ghosts who are now getting their peace too. he can also die along with the surgeon in the pursuit of resurrecting a dying god. but that ending is framed as more "mysterious" and "bigger than the sum of its parts" than it is painted as negative or frightening.
i find that interesting i guess. the only ending where mellow survives is, in my opinion, the darkest one.
Something nobody prepares you for is that the better you get at writing the harder it becomes. beginners write freely because they don't know enough to know what's wrong. then you learn. and suddenly you can see every single flaw in real time as you're making it and you have to write anyway while your own brain is in the corner going "that's a weak verb. that transition is lazy. you've used that word three times." getting good at this is mostly just getting better at ignoring yourself.
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