Buckets Of Gold

realising the importance of not letting dogma control you. 

“Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” - steve jobs

being mostly influenced by a church i consecutively went for 5 years, i realised that there’s some form of dogma where we need to be just like what is acceptable in the walls of the church. and how the importance of giving respect to leaders is so greatly emphasized because they’re ambassadors of god and so and so. and to always refer to what the bible quotes on how to handle situations, or the ‘what would jesus do?’ it might have been useful to some peeps. and although i once felt it was, i no longer. 

stepping out of the youth ministry made me feel like the world is such a different place and they made it all too fluffy and harmless. there is a need for someone to see the world for themselves and realise that they need jesus based on their own experience, thought process and conviction. although their concern was the youths will not be brought up in sinful ways that the world encourages about, the fact that we were taught on ‘the world’ and ‘biblical’ ways is so contradicting. did so much harm to my life and took me so many months to get over the fact that there is no such things. 

so imma cut the emotional crap and give my honest tips: 

first of all, dont assume the church will teach you everything about life. sometimes, they teach you stuff that’s contradicting to what a normal person would do and some is stated in the bible. like how Jesus said you should not hurt someone back just because they hurt you, but respond with love and gentleness. (1 peter 3:9) this is a true wise advice that would prevent lots of drama and more hurts, but one has to first understand and realize that continuously hurting people just because they hurt you doesn’t make your life any better. you need to know why you follow a certain scripture and why you choose to do things differently just as the church preaches. not just follow it because your pastor or leader said so, or they quoted the bible. because at one point in your life, you will not have the convictions to continue following Jesus if you never understood for yourself why. 

second, don’t listen to everything your leaders tell you. hear it but think about it. and dont feel pressured to follow it. it took me awhile to realise that leaders are the ones that make the most mistakes because they are given the opportunity to bless your life as much as ruin it to every degree. so before you take their advice, know why you’re doing it or you end up screwing up relationships just because they were worried which made you think you’re sinning. (my own case scenario) The truth is we are all human beings, capable of making mistakes. the way we process the information preached on the pulpit is different from others, so even tho the ‘ambassador of christ’ has came quoting to you that they correct you in love, if what their saying to you is contradictory to what you feel is right- don’t stay with them. (yes, the church is not any different from this messed up world!!) and leaders try their best- don’t blame them. But know they might just be following blindly as much as you.

lastly, know why you choose to be a christian. or why you would show up on sundays for service. is it really a routine or a conviction to bless someone’s life. i figured i used to go for God- just as they always reminded us not to go for friends but ‘entirely for God’ glory’. but i think otherwise, what’s the point of going to a place if you don’t have familiar faces around you? seriously. the over emphasis for ‘FOR GOD’ has went overboard. so many religions has used ‘FOR GOD’ and done ridiculously immoral acts, can’t you see there is no true thought process there and plain brainwashing? anyways i figured that church is a place ive not yet chosen to settle in as i used to when i was younger only because im still learning to handle what is preached vs my own views on God. 

however, apart from the idea of labeling God to a Church, i’d say that my relationship with God has grown much more even as i stepped down from the ministry and don’t really attend church services regularly. It made me realize that i believe in God and His love for me because of my experiences and my encounters in life up to this 19th year. And God is someone i can’t describe because i don’t know much about him but i can’t deny that I know someone is walking through life with me (yes, dat is God) and guiding me as i go through life. even though i don’t understand certain events in my life, i learn to deal with my disappointments and realize that God is not someone we blame for our situations, or things we can’t change. But God teaches you that no matter what you go through, you will not be crippled down by your problems because there is a God rooting for you. (so, no suicides, no self-cuts, no depression. remember- God is here to help you. God is for you- Romans 8:31)