Gentle Midnight Secrets

I miss the version of you that still loved me. The version that looked at me like I mattered. But now you belong to someone else. And you're never going to see this.

Umm...okay. Bye, I guess.

I think I'm addicted to making myself sad on purpose

I had a dream Ivan told me you had committed suicide. I felt sad. I had a dream I killed you with my bare hands. I was full of anger. I haven't thought of you in a long while. Why are you still here? Go. Be happy somewhere else.

Fuck... not again

Imagine loving being single and longing to be in a relationship at the same time. Imagine not caring what the world thinks about your interests and wanting there to be someone that does. Imagine being bored of everyone around you and putting on a happy face. Imagine filling the void in your heart with celebrities millions of miles away that will never know of your existence or genuinely care. Imagine going to sleep nearly every night hoping that it's 1998 when you wake up. Imagine feeling like the waking world is one giant nightmare you can't wake up from. Imagine being comforted by the idea of never waking up again. Imagine having friends that care so much about you that they try their best to give you reasons to stay alive and have made plans for when you're sixty. Imagine having made vague plans to die once you turn sixty.