Shiezel Written

Can’t hate myself every day, man

Morning breathe,

cess

The room stinks,

cess

Ashtray over flowing,

cess

Her weave never smells,

blessed

Starting my story how I always start my story

Never with my life or my journey

Not gonna put self out there for you to hurt me

I’m a sensitive prick

I’ll say wild shit

I’ve got bars in my heart for women I’ve known

I’ve got bars for women who fit that mould

I’ve got bars for women who have 3b hair who wear lime green coats

I’ve got bars for woman who tattoo my words

on their skin

I don’t want to boost

I ain’t a driving nigga

I’m an Uber nigga

Touch your pussy at the green light

No partition

The drivers got a rare view

Because I’m scared and you’re willing

I find that pussy so confusing

It taste like long division and cess

Now I’m obsessed.

I’ll love my girl til divorce

Maybe all the way after

Listening to Beyoncé sing all night on a beach

My son has sand on his feet

Cess in my lungs; Hen in my cup

Reflecting

They’re willing to burning bridges on me

Ain’t said nothing to me

They love me, they love me

I get it, I get it

What I say to myself

The only way to explain it

But I know real from fake

Sian had a baby I was there

Nathan died she was there

I’ve got more tears then you can believe

If I dwell I’ll cry so back to the women

The games fucked up women ain’t fucking on potential

So I hope you’re seeing someone secretly in love with you

I don’t want you seeing anyone less

For me...

The truth is lying to me, spites only you.

When I start lying...

You'll feel pain in ways that your lies never hit

me

It'll hit you like you hit yourself

'Til you end up like my cousin.

The loss of love is a painful price to pay for your lies

I can't believe the way it just rolled off your tongue

I know I never heard you wrong

I guess I'm lucky the disrespect was not to my face

Retrospectively this seems to be a habit

So this could have been to my face

How many times have you lied to my face?

Like Tracy Ellis Ross you should have gotten better with age.

The person you are I don't even know.

The nasty award goes to you...

You know me...

Lying on your pussy,

Lying on your clothes,

Lying on your money,

The things I have written are etched in your mind I cannot be forgotten I've lied to myself to immortalise beautiful women Words layered like onions with riddles Impulse control so I didn't blurt out I love you I'm older now, seen some winters now So I know love was lust when I thought I loved you All in my feelings, Infatuation built from 140 characters What an era It's been a while, 4 years 4 years

Things are the way they are because of you It is what it is I could try but, Impress who? Sigournney's on the bed pussy out Empress I am not a king nor a don I am something far beyond At night I smoke weed under the stars Singing praises to Jah Empress

We've always been on different timings Back then things were different I don't need reminding I don't believe my nouns and verbs stumbled and hurt you Llow me Tell the truth You didn't see me However, I have been observing For now, we will wait an see

I am not perfect but I am not my imperfections I do less talking now That's more rewarding now When I talk I say what I mean Ask me anything I'll say what I mean

Conversation with Sigournney Make me realise why I love her to death. I had lost my way… Now I see the error in all my ways. Came to the conclusion my life was a mess; I led a crazy life. I wasn't in the right position for commitment Took it upon myself to deep it Look… I couldn’t even write anything else The themes were all the same Still having problems with bitches, weed & Hennessy. I had to say to myself maybe I haven't changed So I stopped talking to pagan’s or they stopped talking to me But let me address it…

You like every picture on my Instagram Except me & my girl Now you need to stop acting to the world you weren't feeling me as well. I have six siblings, a girl and my son And I don't know where I'd put another friend So babes I’m cool we don’t talk You’re just a path I had to walk

Now I dine out on venison and wine… Or I’m in Sydenham with a carton of strawberry KA

I'm all good now Sigournney gave me time to grow Now she’s got me and I got her I don't want to do this with anyone new

I got a few things to clear up between me and her. I would never do anything to have you feeling away. Sigournney you understand when you don’t know what you want But when we fix up… I hit it and it feels right You can’t bill it but you prep it That is so frustrating it's funny You are the only one to see if I'm okay Just know I don't wanna sleep next to no one else Even when you take up all the bed and you are annoying. I've been searching for the words to say I'm sorry to you You know the Nang party Couple months ago

Sigournney... You saw my old habits Straight Hennessy got my head out of this planet You had a little look at my old life No matter what you think I don't wanna fuck in the club I just want you to know I'm with you baby My complacency got you hating me Subconsciously I know In my drunk state I knew You saw the visual definition of being lost in the sauce I don't want to fuck up I know you can't be replaced Doing the most, right in your face...

I read your feelings behind your smiles between the lines above my pride words tear my skin i cry when your not home- because, yours are like acid rain on my shoulders mine are like letting air out of a balllon my heads no longer heavy but i cant stop so i hide turn off shut down the sun never comes out… they just dry away back to shits & giggles kisses & cuddles but we both see the inperfections in ourself, so the outward expression of happiness soon slows down, while we pull it together so we can stay together. And intertwine our bodies like the first times like we dont have life baggage accepting I dont need to be happy right this minute isnt helping me

It’s not helping me

"That ones about me."

Intense.

Love me.

Why the fuck are you so angry?

I had to feel it.

I had to feel it.

You, you had to read words strung together with the mission to move you.

Nice of me really.

Immortalised.

Me, immortalising you...

Someone who didn't write back.

Tell me?

You, told friends.

You, told me that.

You told, foe.

She, told me that.

Laughing.

Whispers.

I dealt with that. 

I dealt with that

So I wrote...

Personified pens.

You know they bleed, had zodiac signs.

I tried.

It's crazy.

You don't really fuck with me.

But when things ain't really going great with you...

And whoever.

You wanna make a pawn out of me.

Plus you're so prideful you wouldn't use them lips.

That hair, to come get me. 

Even if you wanted it, you couldn't really have it.

You said so much to friends that you can't take it back.

Now it burns you that I'm looking good and I'm happy with someone new.

But I told you. 

So you knew.

You knew.

Hardest part of loving you: Is you’re only 19. And I ain’t had bare pussy. And you ain’t had bare pussy. And there’s plenty fish in the sea But I don’t fight with myself. I don’t want to live without you. However if I have to… Then I have to.

From jokes to silence. Can’t keep asking what’s wrong. It jars me. However the silence is loud… Jars me.

I let it carry on If something’s the matter… Tell me. You’re worth more than anything I ever owned sanity or health. If something’s wrong… Tell me. I’m not her but I’m here. Like you’re not her but you’re here.

I could be with her but I scraficed that to be with you. Even if I didn’t tell you.. You gotta see that. Because even before we admitted our feelings. You knew the deal. I see that.

I don’t lie to you I’ve been around cling film and foil, seeds, soil and that Done dirt, been a dirt bag…

Told someone I loved them, then dipped because I finally got the pussy and it weren’t all that. Then sometimes it was just a crush and I didn’t, I just wasn’t enough.

You need to understand. I understand.