' No matter how far you push your feelings down... they'll always come back somehow. And what you do with those feelings... That will be your truth.
š« they/them, agender aroace
art account is @/roguerocketz
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Going on T feels like that one scene in Tangled where Rapunzel escapes the tower and is going back and forth between "I'VE NEVER FELT SO ALIVE AND FREE!" and "I'm a horrible daughter mom would be so sad"
Between this and the one really moving cover of "I See the Light" sung by a trans man pre and post T let's claim Rapunzel as transmasc now. Also being burdened and trapped by long hair and cutting it being symbolic of freedom? C'mon. I'm not a Disney princess guy, but this Disney princess is a guy
i hc that leona would cry during sad movies like Pixarās Up (that part where the song Married Life changes when Ellie dies š) because he is a very Sensitive Guy. and NO that is not just me pandering to myself, that is the TRUTH!! he is very sensitive and he has a lot of emotions that would start to come through more when he gets more comfortable and is in a stable, loving relationship. he would learn to stop denying that he's feeling something, like sadness or grief, and just let himself feel.
obviously he's not perfect at it yet because he's human and one of the hardest things you can do emotionally is let yourself feel unfamiliar feelings you've been repressing your whole entire life. but he's a softie AND he's sensitive to the world around him. you know he'll need a good cuddle while watching a tearjerker movie like Up or Coco so you wrap him in a blanket and let him lean on you before you turn on the movie for the night. you may have been the one to recommend such a sad movie from your world, but you're not a monster!
"Why would this character be jealous of their friend's romantic relationships? Clearly they're in love with them" I don't know if you guys have ever Had Friends but it's actually pretty common for people to feel jealous if their best friend suddenly has less time for them and is prioritising someone they just met over them. That's not inherently romantic, that's the general human desire to be valued by the people you value.
So if Caine and Kinger finally have a father-son relationship⦠does that mean Kinger calls him by his first name, all three middle names, and last name when heās about to unleash the full force of his parental wrath
[Video Description: An ad with piano music over it all, showing an elderly woman in her home, knitting, when two younger men walk by her window, which catches her attention. She stares out her window at them as they kiss each other while walking, the old lady staring in disbelief. Cut to the old woman approaching a residence with a broom in hand, staring up at the second floor window where a small rainbow Pride flag is hanging. The old woman stares up at it and mutters "Ridiculo", before getting up on a ladder with her broom to remove the flag. Focus on the flag fluttering to the ground as church bells chime. The scene then cuts to the couple from before, approaching their home with grocery bags in hand before one stops and stares at the second floor, stopping his partner who then drops the groceries as he too stares up. It's then revealed that the small pride flag had been replaced with a gigantic, hand-knit pride flag. It then cuts back to the old woman's home, where a tin of rainbow-colored yarn sits on her table. The hands of the old woman are holding and fondly touching an old black and white photo of two young smiling women, leaning against each other. Cut to the old woman's face as she stares out with a look of happy pride on her face. At the end of the video, the name "Idealista" appears on screen, followed by "buon pride" along with a rainbow. End VD.]
The old lady is not in her home. She is at work. She's meant to be what in Italian is called "la portinaia", aka a cross between a doorwoman and cleaner of a residential building. She's in her small "office" space, at the entrance of the building, from where she can survey the coming and goings of the inhabitants. It's a job that has mostly disappeared, but is culturally very clear to us as having the connotation of "potentially gossipy, one-million-percent judgmental woman who sees everything that goes on in the apartment complex, knows everyone and their secrets, and has Strong Opinionsā¢ļø".
In this case, thankfully, the Strong Opinionā¢ļø is that those two men are ridiculous with their teeny tiny flag for ants.
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I love that the DCA community is still alive and well and we haven't fucking moved on from this ugly character. Hope we're still here ten years into the future. I'll open the game and kick their stupid little cylinders for them to clean up in your honour, dca friends. Clean up clean up indeed
ppl on ao3 should use the "this work was inspired by" option more. so many fics out there that put links to other fics in the a/n but theres a better option.....
important addition i forgot that not everyone might know. similar to how ao3 bookmarks work, you can also link to non-ao3 fanworks using this format. so, for instance, if theres some fanart on tumblr that inspired you to write the fic? you can link that fanart to your fic!
Donāt be afraid to take up space. You ARE space. The same stuff that makes up the stars that light up the night sky is the stuff inside of you. No matter what they try to tell you, never forget that. Donāt be afraid of taking up space when thatās the very thing that you are.
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pre-relationship headcanons for azul ashengrotto, jamil viper, and leona kingscholar
or; how three of the overblot boys act in the months between recognising their feelings for you and finally asking you out
featuring azul ashengrotto, jamil viper, leona kingscholar, and a gender neutral reader
requested by anonymous
see my pinned post or my night raven college masterlist
a z u l a s h e n g r o t t o
azul ashengrotto for all his intelligence and planning and skills as a manipulator and businessman is perhaps the most hopeless of anyone in octavinelle ā maybe even in all of night raven college ā when it comes to acknowledging, accepting, and acting on his feelings. partially because heās usually so busy with his tutoring work and the lounge that he doesnāt have the time to consider his personal relationships in much depth, and partially because all the bullying he suffered during his childhood set him up for a great deal of self doubt and denial when he eventually did develop his first ever crush on you
but when he does eventually realise that his admiration for you is more than just a platonic appreciation of your better qualities? maybe due to the probing of the tweels, or maybe in the middle of the night right before he falls asleep? yeah he panics. a lot. so much that he spends the whole night pacing and spiralling and ends up showing up to his classes the next day with eye bags so severe they showed even through his makeup
and from there came the very lengthy period of denial. denial about his feelings for you as he tries desperately to rationalise his way out of a crush, hopelessly running the numbers to try and convince himself that heās wrong and he isnāt as head-over-tentacles as floyd has been teasing him for being as of late. denial about the fact that you could ever return those feelings because his insecurities run deep and the idea of confessing to you is something that heās certain will lead to immediate and harsh rejection, mockery, and a lifetime spent hidden in his octopot because he really is still that crybaby little octomer at heart even all these years later. just⦠denial all the way down⦠until the tweels finally step in and force him to get over himself enough to start doing something about his very obvious (to them, anyway) crush on you
so he starts making excuses to be around you more. a stark contrast to how much he was avoiding you just a few days ago, but a welcome one as youād found yourself missing his company. and his efforts include things like:
rearranging your shifts at the lounge and swapping out your usual duties with other employees to maximise your time spent either in his office with him or working alongside him during the shifts he spends personally managing the floor or kitchen ā giving himself even more chances to fumble to get to know you and present himself as a viable option for a partner however he can (though, admittedly, landdweller courting methods are terribly unfamiliar to him and he basically just keeps tripping over himself in an attempt to impress you)
inviting you to taste test new products with him, including recipes he himself has drafted up based around what he has memorised about your personal preferences just to earn some brownie points with you. please donāt bring up the fact that his very sensitive taste buds makes this whole excuse flimsy as hell, itāll just hurt his feelings⦠let him have this
and even offering to tutor you in subjects youāre struggling with. and he does it, for you, completely for free ā no stamp card required. he does a damned good job of teaching you too because he does his research and comes up with a session plan that caters to both your weak areas in the subject and the learning method that works the best for you ā and by the end youāll both be smug and happy and eager to do it all again at the next available chance (you, for finally grasping this topic thatās been giving you grief for the longest time, and azul for getting the chance to show off his intellect to his (hopefully) future spouse and earning your admiration and praise as a result)
he also stares at you a lot these days. like way more than he realistically should. so much so that if you caught him youād be forgiven for either thinking heās entirely zoned out and doesnāt even know where he is or what heās looking at, or that heās plotting something sinister involving you because he just looks so⦠lost in thought while heās doing it. and, yes, jade has caught him in the act numerous times and, no, he will not be letting him live it down any time soon. but thatās another point entirely
azul is extremely sensitive to any signs or potential rejection from you or any external teasing about his feelings, so he is very very cautious and intentional about how he goes about all of this. and he spends way longer than he should fussing over every detail before he does anything ā including fussing over his own appearance and spending enough time in front of the mirror messing with his hair to make floyd bored ā because he doesnāt want to mess things up and lose his chance before he even gets to ask you out. so⦠do with that what you will
to conclude, when it comes to his crush on you azul manages to somehow be both painfully obvious about his feelings and just subtle enough that thereās still a chance that youāll not pick up on what heās doing⦠or, rather, that youāll misconstrue his flirting and flightiness as attempts at getting you to sign a contract with him. but even if you donāt realise on your own, chances are one of the twins will give you a nudge (or, in floydās case, a very firm and violent shove) in the right direction before he even works up the courage to start planning his actual confession. oh the joy of being the leech twinsā oldest friendā¦
j a m i l v i p e r
jamil is not someone who catches feelings for anyone easily. nor is he someone who acts without a great deal of planning beforehand. after all, thatās how he was raised to be as a servant to the al-asim family, and even after gaining some independence after overblotting some habits die hard. and remaining emotionally distant from others and trying to avoid any potential romantic entanglements as a result of his family status is most assuredly one of them⦠until you came along and slowly but surely wormed your way into his heart and left him feeling things heās never felt beforeā¦
so needless to say there will be a very long period of denial for him the second he realises what those feelings actually are. a very long and very convincing period of denial where he all but stuck his head in the sand and ignored his developing feelings for you in the hope that enforced distance would force his mind and heart to give up and, thus, lead to the crush fading away entirely. because with everything else going on in his life jamil viper does not have the time or emotional availability to deal with a crush. or a relationship at all. in fact most days he doesnāt even have the time to breathe for himself between crises. so you canāt really blame him for immediately defaulting to denial
and it was actually almost starting to work until kalim, of all people, casually called him out for being so fond of you and all of his carefully crafted excuses and denials came crumbling down in an instant. worst of all, kalim didnāt even mean to do it ā he was just being his usual oblivious and cheerful self, clearly happy for jamil and wanting to see if his most trusted āfriendā needed any help confessing his apparently very clear feelings for you. sevens damn it all
following that conversation he ends up going through a very quiet week-long crisis ā which, of course, doesnāt show because of his impeccable poker face ā in which he alternates between desperately trying to rationalise to himself why his feelings are irrational and why it would be better to let them die completely (for both of your sakes, because sevens know you deserve better than a man who canāt even give you freedom) and going straight back into denial. itās⦠a stressful week for him, and for the first time in years the mediocre marks he gets in his classes are warranted
and after that week is over and he eventually comes around to accepting the depth of his crush, youāll start to notice his behaviour around you changing quite a bit. especially given that he spent a while trying his best to avoid you entirely in the hopes of killing off his feelings by force. though you certainly arenāt complaining about the sudden excess of attention from him:
not when he starts to stick close to your side during and between classes, maintaining proximity up until the moment he has to leave to attend to kalim. sometimes staying quiet, other times striking up conversation with you by cracking dry jokes at the expense of others to make you laugh or genuinely asking about your day and listening intently to the answers you give like theyāre important to him, even if youāre talking about the most mundane thing in the world⦠and you canāt deny how nice it is to actually be listened to for a change
not when he starts going out of his way to meal prep for you to ensure that you always have something to eat for every meal no matter your financial situation. something he starts doing of his own accord one day and just never stops ā and he wonāt take no for an answer with this because he has your preferences memorised and he knows that you like the foods he made, plus heās more than capable of out-stubborning you (having a little sister trained him well apparently) so itās best you just give up and accept his homemade cooking. and the painkillers and water bottle heās shoving into your hands right now, he could feel that headache coming a mile away. donāt ask how he knew, he just did
not with how protective he becomes around you. mostly in subtle ways, like placing himself between you and traffic when youāre walking around town, or sitting himself closer to the window, or tasting the food you buy when youāre out first just in case. but also in more obvious ways, like utelising his skills as a bodyguard to the al-asim family to swiftly and efficiently take down anyone who tries to hurt you⦠though, thankfully, this has yet to come up as youāre not in danger anywhere near as often as poor kalim is
and certainly not when he looks at you like that ā all warm and soft around the edges, like youāre the most important person in the room and he could look at you for the entire day without growing tired of the sight. itās a rare show of vulnerability from someone so guarded all of the time, and on its own that look would easily be enough to clue you in on how he feels for you long before he confesses⦠if you notice it, anyway
to conclude, once he accepts his feelings for you he pretty much starts to treat you like he has been raised to treat kalim in the weeks leading up to his actual confession. though this time his protectiveness and care is entirely voluntary and all but forced on you instead of the other way around. so if youāre familiar enough with his feelings about his family situation thereās every chance that youāll at least be able to pick up on the fact that he likes you more than most other people⦠but the crush thing may go over your head a bit unless you catch him staring at you because more often than not he does have an excellent poker face and looks more neutral or affectionately annoyed by your presence around him than he does enamoured
l e o n a k i n g s c h o l a r
leona has always lived his life in other peopleās shadows, unable to escape the curse of being āsecond bestā no matter how hard he fought. and after a while he eventually just accepted that heād never be the first choice, never be the best, no matter how hard he worked for it and thus started giving up on⦠everything. because its easier to accept a loss when you never tried to win than to accept losing when you tried your very best from start to finish. and that depressive, defeatist mindset eventually bled into his love life as he stopped being interested in pursuing anything meaningful with others
but despite all of that when he starts to develop feelings for you, heās actually surprisingly quick to just⦠accept them. no period of denial, no attempts to rationalise his way out of his feelings, no attempts to avoid you or alter his routine to minimise contact with you. he just takes a few minutes to process how he feels, acknowledge why he feels this way, and then just kind of passively accepts that he has a crush on you and goes about the rest of his day as he normally would
including continuing to treat you with that same dismissive and apathetic demeanour that heās had since you first met all those months ago. partially because he just doesnāt care enough to try and ward you off to try and make his feelings go away (and, besides, heās smart enough to know that trying something like that just will not work), but mostly because heās convinced that you can do so much better than him ā the second prince, the second best student, the spelldrive player who will never win ā and so he treats you accordingly. no point getting his hopes up or getting too attached when he has never been the first choice and he doesnāt imagine that changing with you
so he leans even more heavily into his worst behaviours, not enough to piss you off or ruin your friendship as a whole though. just enough to sell the idea that heās nowhere near as invested in your happiness, your presence, and the things you tell him whenever you seek him out. in other words, these days he spends way more time pretending to be asleep and hoping you leave than he does actually nappingā¦
but if you stick with him through this period of time, if youāre quick to pick up on the fact that heās not actually asleep and decide to stay and keep him company anyway, you will be able to notice a few signs that may clue you in to just how deeply heās started to care about you
like how his ears always flick towards wherever you are in the room no matter how crowded it is. even when heās pretending to be asleep so nobody bothers him, like he doesnāt even realise that heās doing it. because heās always listening out for you ā your voice, your breathing, your footsteps ā even when there are about a hundred other things he should definitely be paying closer attention to than the way you just laughed or your excited and barely muffled footfall when you think youāve managed to catch him off guard
or how whenever he has a game, no matter how packed and energetic the crowd may be or how close the match may be, his sharp eyes always manage to find yours. and how he always seems to be that much more determined and certain of his teamās victory after he catches a glimpse of you cheering him on ā which, naturally, his teammates are all quick to pick up on and tease him for, voices just loud enough for him to hear but never loud enough to carry back to the stands or be picked up on by any microphones⦠sevens know they donāt want to actually piss off their captain because they all know how bad he can be when his temper is tested
or how heās always quick to place himself between you and other students, or just generally between you and anyone who may pose a potential threat to your person. a protective streak that more than makes itself known whenever you get caught up in an overblot, and thatās resulted in him over exerting himself and getting put on mandatory bed rest as a result of the lengths he went to in order to keep you out of the line of fire. for most students this is actually the first time theyāll have seen leona be so quick to put himself at risk, and as such it should be enough for most to figure out just how much he actually likes you⦠even if you may not be quite so quick to realise
and then thereās the way that he looks at you when he thinks nobody else can see him: soft, warm, gentle. like his committing every millimetre of your person to memory. a far cry from the sharp, calculating, mocking, borderline predatory gaze everyone else is used to seeing from him, and a glimpse to a more vulnerable side to him that heād sooner swallow literal poison than show anyone. except, maybe, you someday. though heās very careful about letting his guard down so blatantly like this, so unless youāre incredibly perceptive thereās every chance youād miss these moments entirely
so⦠yeah. needless to say thereās every chance that you may just not realise that leona has a crush on you until either he confesses himself or you overhear ruggie giving him shit for being so obvious about his feelings for you. though at the very least you should be able to figure out that the apathy he projects sometimes is a complete and utter lie, at least when itās towards you⦠and if not? well the facepalm brigade are always accepting new membersā¦