WALK IT OFF

He and Steve had had far too many partings, far too many reunions. Life seemed intent on ripping them apart every time they’d managed to find a bit of peace. This last one… Bucky had thought it had been it, the last chance he’d get. And now, somehow, here they were, finding each other once again. Bucky wasn’t sure what he had done to deserve this, but he was thanking every force up there that it was possible.

     “Alright. You better hurry,” Bucky said, voice shaking slightly. 

Without hanging up, he pulled the phone away from his ear, hunting along the side for the tiny button that opened up the tracker settings. Clicking a few buttons, he watched with anticipation as the little graphic on the screen showed the signal being sent out. Walking away from the nearby buildings, he walked aimlessly towards an open field, knowing there’d need to be enough room for a plane to land. Bucky was practically vibrating with the need to see Steve again, and he gripped the phone tightly as he raised it back to his ear. 

     “Okay, it’s going. See ya soon,” he whispered. 

As Bucky set to turning on the tracker, Steve bit his bottom lip admittedly with more force than he should have, but he had to make sure he was awake.  He couldn’t handle waking up in bed once more just for everything to be the same, for those lost to be gone forever.  He needed it to be true.  He closed his eyes briefly and opened them again once he heard the other man speak on the other end of the line.

The tone in Bucky’s voice was enough to cause Steve’s own emotions to well up and it took just about everything in his willpower not to take an enormous step and just flat-out tell him that he loved him.  Those three words, that declaration...if he was going to say it, it would be in person, not over a phone after having not seen him in so long.  He swallowed a lump in his throat in an effort to suppress any admissions before answering.

“I’ll be there before you know it.  Stay safe.”  He hung up the phone then before turning to look at the others and making his way over to them to explain where he was going and why.  Most of them offered a nod in understanding, even Tony seemed to have put his past emotions about Bucky behind him.  It was amazing how half of the universe vanishing could put things into perspective.

Without another word, the Captain boarded one of the quinjets and took off with ease, setting the coordinates into the navigation system so that all he had to worry about was maintaining control.  As he looked out to the sea of clouds around him, a thousand scenarios of his reunion with his best friend played out in his head and thankfully, that was enough to distract him from the time that it took to get to his destination.  He spotted Bucky as he begun to land, careful as he did so.  The craft hovered just above the ground before landing with more grace than one would expect.

He took a deep breath and cut the power before stepping out.  Whatever he had imagined, nothing would have prepared him to see Bucky again, that much was just simple fact.  Rather than stumbling over his words, he took a few long strides over to the other man before pulling him into a tight embrace, burying his face against his neck.

The last thing Steve remembered was managing to land a hit on Thanos.  After that, everything went blank.  He had heard the sound of shouting, perhaps it was Tony or Natasha, but it sounded like it was coming from underwater.  The last sensation that he felt was the warmth of his own blood soaking into his suit and with that, everything was covered in darkness.

Surely, that was what death had to feel like.  He had gone into the battle knowing that there was a good chance that he would die, but it would be worth it if he could make a difference, turn the tide.  If Thanos could be defeated, it was worth dying for.

In the end, the battle was won.  Thanos was defeated, in no small part thanks to Steve and the others, along with a surprise visit from Loki of all people.  The Mad Titan was dead, the universe no longer suffered his threat, but there was still the matter of bringing those that were lost back.

That job fell to Loki.

And it took him about a year.  For that entire duration, Steve was in a coma.  Tony had refused to take him off of life support, sure that he was going to recover no matter who told him otherwise.  When the god of mischief managed to pull of the impossible, it was still a matter of finding those that had come back.  Another month passed and people were still looking, but they had found those that had taken part of the battle.  From there, Tony led the effort all over the world to help people keep finding their loved ones.

She wasn’t sure how much time passed, but when the Captain spoke it seemed as if the time for mourning had been brought to a close. She couldn’t help but feel a pang of betrayal. Of course they had all lost something, were they not allowed to feel that loss? 

She couldn’t focus on any course of action at that time. Who could? And how dare he decide that it was time to let go so soon after their friends had turned to ash? In the fray of discussion, she slipped out, heading out to the balcony to catch her breath. 

Outsid she rested her head on the wall and continued to cry softly. 

Thor looked after her, seeing her retreating back grow smaller and smaller. “Steve,” he said softly. “We need some time to process. All of us do.” He wiped his cheeks still stained with tears. “Perhaps we can reconvene tomorrow, after we rest and mourn.” 

It wasn’t just Sigyn, there were many that retreated after Steve spoke.  He understood of course, and he wasn’t going to push for any immediate progress.  It was just in his nature to move forward, maybe because he was afraid that if he stopped, he might feel too much of what he’d repressed since...well, since World War II.

He ran his fingers through his hair, looking to Thor when he spoke up.  “Of course,” he agreed, sighing as his gaze fell to Sigyn once more.  “I didn’t mean to upset her,” his voice was quiet, but sincere.  “I just know how tempting it can be to surrender to the pain.  This whole situation, everything that’s happened...it seems hopeless, but if we let ourselves believe that, it’s already over.”

After that… it was a blur. Thunderstorms and clouds, vibrant orange hue all around, sometimes burning like a fire and other times as dark as night. Bucky didn’t know whether he was alive or dead, if this was Gehinnom or just some unceasing limbo. Nothing felt real yet everything felt too much. He was both floating and sinking. Bucky didn’t forget, not like his time in cryo, but everything seemed far away and intangible, like a dream from his childhood he could barely remember. It was both the most awful thing he’d ever experienced… and almost like nothing at all. 

He didn’t know how long it lasted. Time didn’t seem to exist; there was no certain sun or moon or tide. Yet one moment he was, well, existing- and the next he was falling, vividly, only to lose his breath as he thumped to the ground. The sun above him seeming to burn his retinas to the core, yet he peeled his eyes open anyway. He could feel grass under his fingers, hear the wind and see clouds- he was home. Giddy, he stood up, muscles shaking like he was fresh out of the snow. 

It was almost too much- the sun too hot, nature too loud, existing just too… too. Bucky didn’t know how he’d gotten here, he could only hope it wasn’t too late. Stumbling out of the field he’d landed in, he headed for the nearest road. The first house he arrived at, after being greeted in lilting Italian that had hints of French influence, he asked to borrow a phone. Dialing Steve’s number (and hoping it even still worked, however long it had been), Bucky sank into a chair, unsure his legs would support him anymore. Hearing Steve’s voice made his breath hitch, and he’d probably made the right decision in sitting down. 

     “Steve?” he breathed, voice hoarse from disuse. “I think I’m in Northern Italy…”

Steve was in the middle of falling into old habits, taking on a commanding and firm voice, giving orders, establishing plans, but he was completely pulled out of all of that when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket.  His eyes narrowed slightly and he looked out to the others, holding up a hand.  “Just...give me a second.  I’m sorry.”  He heard Tony mutter something about putting phones on silent as a joke, but he brushed it off as he answered the familiar number...a number he never thought he’d hear from again.

In reality, the blonde should have been sitting as well, because his knees nearly gave out from under him when he heard Bucky’s voice on the other line.  He was alive...he was back, and he was really speaking to him.  It wasn’t just another dream that he’d cruelly wake up from as he had in the past months.

“Buck,” he breathed, “God, I-...”  Steve shook his head, biting back the emotion that welled up in his voice.  “Alright, Northern Italy.  That’s ah-...that’s a pretty vague region, Buck.  Your phone should have a tracker on it, but you gotta turn it on manually...”  It had been something Shuri had installed into it for safety only.  He only hoped that the princess had taught the other man how to use it, otherwise they were going to have a very long search of Northern Italy.

Steve? 

After that she wasn’t sure how she made it back to the compound or who had spoken to her. Everything seemed a bit… muted. Sigyn sat with hallow eyes, unseeing for a long moment, not realizing she was sitting next to the Captain at first. It would be a while before she could feel again, let alone try to help someone else feel. 

It was when Thor returned that she finally seemed to reanimate. The short-haired god gasped at the sight of her. “Sig?” he asked quietly, as if he couldn’t believe his eyes. The last time he’d seen her he had told her that Loki had fallen in battle. After that no one knew where she went. 

When she laid eyes on him she instantly began to cry. “Thor…” she breathed. With strength she didn’t know she had she moved to him, wrapped up in hs mighty arms. 

Thor hadn’t cried yet. Not really. But seeing his brothers long-lost wife in that moment brought forth all the emotions a man that had lost his family might feel. He hid his nose in her hair, finally breaking under the pressure. “Sweet Sigyn,” he rumbled through his tears. “I thought you dead years ago…” 

She didn’t even know that Loki had lived. She didn’t know he had lived and died a second time. Loki had asked after her and died believing she was in Valhalla waiting for him. How could Thor tell her? 

When the former Captain heard Thor’s voice, he was brought back to the present and he looked up long enough to realize who the woman was; Sigyn, former wife of Loki.  It was safe to say that she had been through quite enough in her lifetime even from what little Steve knew, and Bucky had mentioned her in a few of their Skype calls.  She was a good friend to him...probably a better one to Bucky than Steve had been in a long time.

It was one thing to see Thor defeated, it was another thing entirely to see him cry.  All the sight instilled for Steve though was that he had to stay strong, stoic, because the people around him were suffering and his hurt wasn’t as important.

It was always how he’d thought, it was just how he was.

When the others begun to arrive for the conference, Steve spoke up after Shuri.

They were gone.

So many and so quickly, just vanished from existence.  One moment they had been fighting Thanos with everything they had, the next everything was falling apart in every conceivable way.  It all seemed to be a blur, but there was a moment of clarity when he heard Bucky calling his name.

After that, he felt numb to his very core.

The bastard was gone, he’d vanished, and there wasn’t a thing they could do about it.  They took count of who was left alive, who had died...and after that they all assembled back at the compound in Wakanda.  Even T’Challa was gone, leaving Shuri as acting queen.