puppy

“I’m not creepy for doing this.” IDIA begins to hype himself as he starts to boot up the CCTV feed. “Yeah, I’m not creepy. I’m just looking out for them. Sevens know they need someone doing that. That normie’s got way too many death flags… They could keel over and die at any moment. That’s why I’m helping them out… Yeah, yeah.” Idia starts laughing to himself as the feed finally loads. “Heehee, aren’t I such a good person?”

Changing from screens of gray static to multiple angles of Ramshackle’s halls and rooms, Idia can’t help the creepy little grin that spreads on his face as he begins perusing through the feeds. The kitchen was empty… oh, a ghost in the foyer… then there’s Grim idling on the sofa with his forked tail flicking back and forth… Heehee, so precious. He takes a screenshot before moving on.

Then finally, there was your— Huh? Idia frowns to himself when he sees the feed of your bedroom still on that gray static. What the hell? He had just checked on it last night (b– because magickless people could easily die in their sleep, y’know?!), so what was going on?! He brings up the logs to check the situation, muttering curses to himself.

“Mic test~” A familiar voice suddenly rings through his headphones, making him jump in his seat. He can feel— no, he can hear his heart racing in his ribcage as he stares at the screen with wide eyes. Of course, he knows that voice. There’s easily a thousand hours of audio logs in his desktop recording that angelic, stupid, gorgeous, grating, and wonderful pitch and tone. He’s fallen asleep to clipped audios of that voice telling him—

“I~ di~ a~ ♡” The gray static finally turns to black, then you pull back to reveal your coy face staring down at him from the other side of the screen. “When are you gonna man up and start looking at me for real? I’m tired of putting shows for you every night.”

Sh– Shows?! He thinks back to all the times you’ve stretched and moaned to yourself in private, sometimes even making him think if actual people were so seductive even by themselves. Those breathy sighs you let out, too lewd that you could almost mistake them for… well. The tips of Idia’s hair flare red as he breathes heavily at your image.

“Idia?” You pout, tilting your head at the CCTV. “C’mon, I know there’s a mic in these things. Don’t leave me hanging…”

There’s a resounding silence in your room, and you impatiently watch the camera’s red light blinking at you like a shifty eye for a few seconds. Then you hear it, the slightest whisper from a crackling mic, “I– I’ll be there. In a few secs. Uh, um, yeah.” He adorably squeaks out that last syllable. “Yeah, w– wait for me.”

Fine, you think as you plop down on the bed with a triumphant grin. What’s a few more minutes, anyway? This is nothing compared to the time when you pretended to be asleep while he installed the cameras, physically gripping the sheets as you stopped yourself from pouncing on him.

Typically, when one is being held captive in a mysterious castle, they often lash out. Even someone far removed from typical human cues such as MALLEUS knows this, and as such was willing to be patient for as long as it takes you to settle down in your new quarters and lot in life.

Instead, all he gets is an enthusiastic kiss on the lips the moment he walks into your room. Not that he’s complaining, for he eagerly returned the kiss and more as soon as you were on him, but he had to pull away to give you an incredulous once-over (and a quick break! Who knew humans could go on for so long without air?). “Dearest?” He says to your cheerful expression, placing a hand on your forehead to check. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Whatever do you mean?” You ask, wrapping your arms even tighter around his neck. You smile up at him so beautifully that one would have mistaken this as your honeymoon instead of having iron shackles on your feet. “This is what lovers do! Oh, Mall,” you giggle, pressing another quick kiss on his cheeks. “Have you never kissed before? Your inexperience is so cute!”

Inex—? No, wait, that shouldn’t be his first concern. Lovers? When just yesterday he was so sure you were ignorant of his feelings, so he had to take drastic measures such as, but not limited to: tricking you into taking a walk with him, knocking you out with a sleep spell, teleporting you to a heavily guarded room in his castle. “Did you—? Have you known all this time?”

“Have I known, he says!” You exclaim, finally letting go of him to put two hands on your blushy cheeks. You giggle to yourself as you reminisce. “Oh, with how intently you stare at me all the time, who wouldn’t have known? And don’t get me started on that cute pouty thing you do whenever I don’t pay attention to you, or how the skies get a little darker every time you see me with another man. Honestly!” You sigh dreamily. “I was almost getting impatient!”

No longer the scary and brooding captor that he thought himself to be, Malleus’ expression looks befuddled as you continue to daydream. “I was all like, ‘when is he gonna pop the question?’ I thought you were gonna do it last time but then—!” You spread your arms out, gesturing to the room around you. “I wake up to see my leg chained to that bedpost and a view of Briar Valley!”

“And that’s—” Malleus lets you cling to his arm as the gears continue to turn in his head. “You are absolutely fine with that?”

You let out a dramatic sigh. “Oh, Mally, men these days don’t know what grand acts of love are! All they do is wait around and think being nonchalant is cool when you have a literal lover, but that’s not what loving is! Now this—” You shake your ankle with the iron shackle, making the chains jangle. “You went through all the trouble of kidnapping me. That’s more than any of my stupid exes could do!”

“Now before you suddenly summon lightning,” you begin, easing his face towards you with your fingers on your chin. Under the green flickering of the candlelights, Malleus feels himself melting at the sultry gaze you’re giving him as you guide him further into the room. “Come here, Malleus. I’ll make it all up to you ♡”

LEONA isn’t exactly known for his patience, and even less so when he has to deal with the stupid herbivores surrounding you. He knows you must be aware of this sentiment somehow, with the way you shoot nervous glances his way whenever he’s in the vicinity of you and your stupid group of friends. Today, he yawns and gets ready for a busy day. You should really praise him for how he’s bending over backwards just to make you his.

He lies in wait all day, akin to a predator locking onto its target and only biding its time. He takes his time watching you from afar, if only to finally catch you alone and in his arms. And would you look at that— looks like your fateful capture would be where you both first met. Just a few steps into the greenhouse, and he immediately pins you on the grassy area behind the bushes. His brown hair sweeps over your face as he looks down at you with foreboding green eyes and a lazy smirk.

You squeak out his name, trying to hide your face with your books. He huffs. “You have some nerve, herbivore, making me hunt you down all day. You already know that I don’t like the stink of other men on you, so why’d you have to be so fucking stubborn, hm?” He leans in and sniffs at your nape. There is that mature sweetness of yours, and then there’s the acrid smell of those teenage boys. He pulls back with a grimace. “Fuck, that stinks. How’re you gonna make this up to me?”

He waits for your response, but all you seem to be doing is looking up at him with wide and shaky eyes. Damn, did he really scare you stiff? He frowns and cocks his head at you. “Oi, answer. Or should I make you?”

“I…” You start, saliva laying heavy on your tongue as you swallow your dry throat. “I was just…” He raises a brow at you.

You suddenly flush red and hug your books even closer to your chest. “Y– You’re so… c– close to me! I’m sorry, I– I can’t think straight when I’ve literally got you inches from my face. And you’ve got a scary new look that I…” You swallow again. “C– Can I get my camera out? Can you make that expression for me again?” Your tone suddenly pinches to be a bit too desperate. “Please?”

He stares down at you with wide eyes before throwing himself to your side and laughing in bewilderment on the grass. “That’s your— haha, reaction?” You think he’s so handsome with the teeth-wide grin that you’re almost tempted to whip out your camera and start snapping away. You control yourself. “Big bad lion corners you in a place where no one can see, and your first instinct is to take photos?”

“But I—! I like you!” You protest, sitting up to look down at him. His ears flicker in satisfaction at hearing that, but he continues to play cool. “I just… It’s hard not to be around them. They’re my friends! But I– I like you too!”

“And my face, it seems,” he snorts. He props himself up on his arm and looks at you, tail waving lazily behind him. “How many pictures of me do you got on that camera?”

“682,” you say immediately, gaze so blank it could belong to a psychopath’s. Then you catch yourself and blush again. “I– I mean…!”

Leona ruminates over the number and huffs in dissatisfaction. “A bit lower than I expected,” he hums. “C’mon, herbivore, to celebrate our mutual feelings, I’ll let you take some more.” And Leona gets to see you whip your camera out in record time with that dreadfully blank face again, quickly putting those lenses into use.

“ — just a normal voice-transforming potion, I assure you.” AZUL sits across you with his usual slimy grin, chin on his clasped hands like a typical villain. “Aside from the intended effect of turning your voice slightly higher, you will experience little to minimal side effects.”

You stare blankly at the glittering pink liquid swirling in the vial before you. On your visit to Mostro Lounge, Azul had immediately requested (seized you by the arm) your presence and brought you into the office. Now, you were currently on his sofa watching pink mist burst into a heart from this so-called voice-transforming potion of his. 

Turning your blank gaze to Azul, you see him squirm under your long gaze. For a dude who lied just as easy as breathing, he sure was being hella obvious. But no matter. If a pretty boy like him asked you to do something, then all you had to say was ‘yes sir!’ and gulp the entire thing down. Which is exactly what you did, and Azul eagerly watched your face for any sort of reaction.

A few minutes pass, and it was becoming increasingly clear that nothing would wipe that stupid vacant look on your face. The disappointment on Azul’s face was palpable. Shifting in your seat, you reach out for the vial and bring it to your nose. Sweet like a sugar cookie… definitely not the voice-transforming potion you’ve been taught in Alchemy. 

“Potions that attempt to regulate emotions usually depend on the feelings of the drinker, you know,” you offhandedly tell him, setting down the vial.

“I know that!” He snaps, before his eyes widen and he immediately composes himself. He sends you another slimy grin. “I mean… I don’t know what you’re talking about! Clearly something must be wrong with my potion, ahahaha…”

“Love potions don’t work if they’re already obsessed with you.”

Azul looks so taken aback that the glasses on his face comically tilt. You continue. “I mean, I thought that was obvious. I’m always going along with your plans even if I’m not from Octavinelle. And you don’t give me anything in return, but I’m always giving you what you want. Well, not that you don’t give me anything in return—” You’re rambling now, drawing Azul’s stupefied stare, but nothing’s stopping you now. “— That smirk you do when you’re really pleased with yourself is so hot, so I just let it be. And I’m always trailing after you because goddamn you always look hot in those slacks. So I dunno what you thought would happ—”

“Stop stop stop stop!” Azul holds up a gloved palm to your face, pretending to duck and massage his temples just to hide his steadily reddening face. “What— What are you talking about…?! I just thought you were a—”

“Sucker?” You offer, not looking the slightest bit offended. That wasn’t the word he was going to use, but if you were to say it… “Yeah, I am. I’m like a real sucker for you. You’re super hot when you’re doing shady shit and super cute when you actually act decent.” What were with these backhanded comments…? “I’m kinda obsessed with you.”

“Y– You are…?” Azul’s eyes are now shining as he hesitantly meets your gaze. And to think he took the extra pains of gathering all those ingredients just for a stupid love potion! “All this time, you…?”

“I even keep the collection of transactions we’ve had with me,” you say, deadpan. “Your signature is so effin cute. Wanna see?”