writing and fangirling, fangirling and writing

All of Sasuke’s classes had ended as well, but he was still buried in books more often and not. These past few months something had changed in him, and he’d been taking his studies a lot more seriously. This week he’d been working on some kind-of…a math problem, Sasuke had said- a famous one. But what kind of math problem took days to solve? The lounge room was covered in sheets of paper and the only time Sasuke stopped his furious scribbling was to shake out his cramping hand.

Naruto watched Sasuke’s eyes dart across the paper, watched them darken and narrow with frustration, and widen and sparkle with an occasional burst of inspiration. Naruto would never, ever get tired of watching Sasuke’s eyes. Seeing him so fired up and energised by something- well, back when he’d first met Sasuke, only fighting with his brother or Naruto would get him fired up like this, and never in a good way.

Sasuke had changed; it was amazing.

He seemed stuck on something just now, frowning at his paper, hand stilled, biting on the end of his pencil. His cheeks were flushed a light pink, and he stared down at his notes with an intensity that was- ah, it was-

-Naruto shifted uncomfortably on the couch. His eyes scanned down to the indecipherable notes on the page, then back up to the spark in Sasuke’s eyes, and the pencil resting against his lower lip. Sasuke was so smart. And pretty. And-

“Naruto,” came a voice.

Naruto jumped. He shook his head and blinked; the world had gone a bit hazy. He-

“Naruto,” came Sasuke’s voice again. “Are you-”

Naruto cleared his throat. “Am I what, babe?” he asked, with a quick smile as he met Sasuke’s eyes.

Sasuke scowled. “I’m not going to do math in front of you if it turns you on,” he said.

Naruto turned scarlet red and shifted again on the couch. “I’m not!” he cried, indignant, and lying through his teeth. “I-”

“You damn well are, your eyes were doing that- unfocused thing, and you were clenching your fists, and-”

“And?!” Naruto shrieked, embarrassed that Sasuke could read him so clearly.

Sasuke huffed and turned away from him. “And I can’t concentrate with you sitting on the couch next to me like that,” he said. “I’m trying to get through this so that we can-”

Naruto grinned at that. So they could what? Looked like Sasuke found it hard to concentrate with his boyfriend around as well. Naruto liked that. He liked that a lot. He jumped up from the couch, ruffling Sasuke’s hair as he headed out of the lounge towards the kitchen.

“I’ll give you some space, then. I’ll make dinner. What do you want to eat?” He paused at the door, waiting for Sasuke’s answer.

His boyfriend hesitated, frowning over at him. “I don’t care,” he finally said with a shrug.

“Sasuke,” Naruto said, putting a hint of warning in his voice like he’d seen Itachi doing so many times. “You’ll just get a plate of lettuce if you really don’t care.”

Sasuke sighed. “Mashed potato, then, if you’re cooking it. It’s better than Itachi’s, anyway.”

Naruto nodded, and smiled. “Sure thing, babe.”

“And, can you- um, can you do it with the little tomatoes like that one time?” Sasuke added, turning his face away from Naruto’s, attention back on his math.

“With or without cheese?”

“Without,” Sasuke said without looking up, already back to scribbling away.

Naruto turned and headed to the kitchen, a happy thrill running through him at Sasuke’s instructions- at his requests for food. Naruto had never been much of a cook, but nothing motivated him like seeing Sasuke eat his meals- like having Sasuke request for Naruto to cook, instead of Itachi.

Speak of the devil. The phone on Naruto’s pocket starting ringing with Itachi’s tone just as Naruto finished cutting the potatoes. He fished the phone out of his pocket as he put the potatoes on to cook.

“’sup, bro,” Naruto greeted, feeling energised once more.

A moment on silence, then a brief sigh. “I’ll be working a double shift tonight, so I won’t be home for dinner,” Itachi said, evidently deciding it wasn’t worth responding to Naruto’s choice of greeting.

Again? Naruto thought. Itachi had been working more and more lately, and between that and Naruto’s shifts at the florist, Sasuke was alone more and more. “That busy, huh? Alright, then. I’m just making dinner now.”

“Good. Are you staying over tonight?”

Naruto paused. He started work at 5am tomorrow. But…but Sasuke wanted him to stay, and it’d make Itachi feel better too. “I can, if you want. Sai’s not home anyway.”

Another pause. “Good,” he repeated. “…thank you.”

“So you’ll be home at 7?”

“…no. Mid-morning. I’ve got an errand to run.”

Naruto lowered his voice. “Is it about the, you know, the gift?”

“No. That’s all arranged. Do we need any groceries?”

“Just tomatoes, like usual. Your brother is some kind of freak tomato addict, I swear-”

“I am not,” Sasuke snapped at him, and Naruto whirled around. “Is that my brother?”

Naruto grinned, and held the phone out to him. Sasuke sat at the table, and Naruto turned around to work on his potatoes.

“Naruto drank all the apple juice,” Sasuke complained into his phone. “And he used all my conditioner.”

Naruto chose to ignore that. It wasn’t his fault that Sasuke’s hair smelled so nice, and Naruto just wanted to see if he could achieve the same affect-

“Mm. The green bottle. Yeah. And some more note paper. That’s all. Are you working tomorrow as well?”

Naruto knew that he was; Itachi was even working over Christmas this year. He frowned as he cut up the tomatoes. Sasuke was feeling a lot better these days, but Naruto knew he didn’t like Itachi being away so much. Even if he’d rather lose an arm than admit it.

Maybe Naruto should cut back on his shifts, so he could spend more time with Sasuke. But he needed the money. Christmas was coming up, and-

“Naruto,” Sasuke called from the table. “Why do you have Itachi’s bank account details on your phone?”

Naruto supressed a squeal and rushed over, snatching the phone out of Sasuke’s hands. “Never you mind about that!”

“He’s not actually making you pay rent, is he?”

“That was just a joke!” Naruto quickly said. “Um, I think. Anyway, I’m not gonna let you use my phone if you-”

“The water’s boiling over,” Sasuke interrupted, and Naruto squealed again and ran back to the stove.

Shit, that was close. He shouldn’t have left Itachi’s details open like that. Keeping secrets from Sasuke was hard enough without stupid mistakes like that!

He sighed to himself. This Christmas thing was tough.

***

Naruto yawned and opened his eyes. He’d already been awake this morning, at 4:30am as his internal body clock was now trained to do. Damn you Ino, he cured his friend, who was off in Europe somewhere with her girlfriend- leaving Naruto to help out at her family’s store. He liked the money, and he really liked the distraction from thinking about next year, but 4:30am? It was evil.

But today was Christmas, and that meant at least a small sleep-in, before presents and brunch with Sasuke and Itachi. He smiled sleepily to himself. It would certainly top last year- drinking games and a random hook-up or two, and then being force-fed bread and water and painkillers by Sai after throwing up the contents of his stomach.

Things really had changed. And next year…next year, he might be a uni student. A flutter of nerves danced around in his stomach. Might be. Maybe. Ugh, the waiting was killing him. He wanted it- that life. That chance, to have something different than how he thought his life would go.

Let’s not think about all that.

He stretched and rolled over, reaching his arm out for Sasuke but finding the other side of the bed empty. He blinked and frowned. If Sasuke was on the couch working on those damn math problems again, he’d…damn it! He knew Sasuke was doing this to get into some kind of special class or something, but it was really hard not to take it personally-

“’morning,” came Sasuke’s sleepy voice, as he came out of the bathroom. He yawned as well, stretching his arms over his head, his shirt riding up as he did so. Naruto stared, eyes glazing over, all thoughts of math and uni leaving his mind at once.

Sasuke smirked at that, slipping into bed and reaching over to swat Naruto gently on the head. “It’s too early for that,” he scolded.

“Never too early or late,” Naruto said back, reaching his own arms out to scoop Sasuke closer, pressing a kiss to his throat. “Can’t help it, when you’re wearing my clothes, y’know,” he murmured into Sasuke’s skin.

“These boxers are way too big,” Sasuke complained, wriggling around in Naruto’s arms to get comfortable.

“Don’t care if they fall off,” Naruto said to that, sliding his hands down Sasuke’s back. Sasuke arched into him, letting Naruto nuzzle into his neck.

Last summer, even on the hottest days, he’d never seen Sasuke showing any skin. Now he seemed comfortable enough around Naruto to wear almost anything- when they were at home, anyway. It’d been jarring at first seeing bare arms and legs. Has so many advantages, though, Naruto thought to himself, sighing happily as he ran his fingers down Sasuke’s arms.

“We’ll go shopping at the post-Christmas sales tomorrow,” Naruto suggested. “Get you some new stuff. Oh! Merry Christmas, by the way!” he exclaimed, pushing up on his elbows in a sudden rush of excitement, remembering the Christmas gifts safely hidden away at Sasuke’s apartment.

“Mm,” Sasuke said to that, trying to pull Naruto back down to the bed, tangling his fingers through Naruto’s hair. “These clothes are fine. I’ll put up with them.”

“Oh, will you?” Naruto teased, slipping his hand up Sasuke’s shirt.

“Since they make you so- happy,” Sasuke said, a quick grin flashing over his face, a spark coming into his eyes.

Naruto shivered despite the heat in the room, seeing Sasuke look at him like that. “What time is it? We have to get back to your place by-”

“We have time.”

“Oh, now that you’re interested, we have time?”

“Something like that.”

Naruto sighed and shook his head, but he wasn’t about to complain. He rolled onto his side and Sasuke settled against him, tangling their legs together. Sasuke stretched out and pressed against him, then gave Naruto a slow, lingering kiss that ended in a sharp nip to his bottom lip.

Naruto’s breathing hitched in his throat, and he gripped onto Sasuke’s shirt hard. Sasuke smirked and gave him a knowing look, staring down at Naruto’s fists.

“Stop that,” Naruto breathed, trying to quell the heat in his cheeks. He squirmed under Sasuke’s gaze and moved his hands away from Sasuke’s hips.

“No,” Sasuke said, taking Naruto’s hands and returning them. “Leave them there,” he added, and waited until Naruto relaxed, nodding in approval as Naruto slipped his fingers under the hem of Sasuke’s shirt.

Sasuke still wasn’t into this kind-of stuff, not all that often anyway. But when he was in the mood, he was cheeky, and teasing, and more than willing to tell Naruto exactly what he wanted. It was perfect. And see, now, when Naruto kisses Sasuke’s neck just right, presses into his hips just right, biting into that oh-so-sensitive spot under his left ear- see how Sasuke melts against him? How he purrs?

“Naruto,” Sasuke murmured. “Can’t I have a clue, at least?”

“Mm? ‘bout what?” Naruto murmured back.

Sasuke sighed and rolled his eyes. “My present. The one you and Itachi have been working on for weeks!”

Well, shit. “Uh. Um, there’s no-”

Sasuke sighed again and shifted, pushing Naruto firmly down onto the mattress and seating himself on Naruto’s hips. “Naruto,” he warned, leaning down close to his face, dark eyes smouldering. “A clue! Come on…”

A clue. Right. Just a clue, something to please him and that wouldn’t get him murdered by the other Uchiha. “Um. You’ll like it?”

Sasuke sat back and considered that. “The HP 32Sii?” he asked.

Knowing Sasuke these days, that was some kind of complicated calculator. He just laughed, and Sasuke gripped him tighter to stay in place. “Yeah, babe. That. That’s what we got you for Christmas. Okay, kitten, you got your clue, so-”

“I’ll tell you what I got you,” Sasuke went on, voice lowering, hips shifting. But Naruto wouldn’t be coaxed into spoiling the secret, no, he and Itachi had worked so hard to-

“Stop that,” Naruto whined, at the way Sasuke moved on top of him. “I-”

Sasuke’s eyes widened abruptly and he pushed himself off of Naruto. “That’s it!” he exclaimed, climbing out of bed so fast that the sheets tangled themselves around his legs. He growled and shoved them away, stumbling over to his backpack by the door and reaching in for his notes.

Naruto groaned and fell back onto the pillows. “Now, Sasuke?!” he whined.

“Shush,” Sasuke hissed at him, falling onto the floor with his notes spread all around him. He’d already lost all interest in Naruto. “I almost had it!”

Naruto sighed and reached for his phone. Math waited for no man. That’s what Sasuke said, at least. Naruto would never get it. Oh well. At least while Sasuke wasn’t looking, he could…

Show me, he texted Itachi. Sasuke’s back in math land. He won’t see.

He waited, and soon a photo from Itachi arrived, a brief flash of white and black, a flurry of paws and tails, against the darkness of Itachi’s bedroom.

Naruto bit back a laugh. You let them sleep with you?

They were crying all night, came Itachi’s reply. Such a pain. Get over here already.

Easier said than done; Sasuke’s presents might be waiting, but he wasn’t going anywhere until the math let him go. Naruto grinned and texted back and forth with Itachi for a while, and then went off for a shower as he waited for his boyfriend to come back to him.

***

Naruto was torn between sulking over his interrupted morning snuggles with Sasuke, and excitement over the imminent present. He couldn’t wait to see his boyfriend’s face. Sasuke had no idea what he and Itachi had been planning. Too focused on the math, said a surly voice in his head, and bam, Naruto was back to sulking.

He paced around Sasuke’s lounge room, casting quick glances over at Itachi’s closed door, then sending his gaze back to Sasuke sitting on the edge of the couch.

“Would you sit down, already?” Sasuke said. “What’re you so worked up about? I’m sure I’ll like it, whatever it is.”

Naruto sighed and forced himself to sit. “Yeah. I know you will.”

“So? You’re upset about this morning?” A vaguely guilty expression crossed Sasuke’s face- but just a quick one.

Naruto shook his head. “Not upset.”

“What, then?”

“Well, I mean, you’re meant to be some kind of math genius. Why haven’t you solved the damn thing already?”

“I told you. It’s not meant to be solved! It can’t be solved.”

Naruto frowned. Yeah, Sasuke had said that, but- “So what’s the point?!” Why was Sasuke spending so much time- so much of the limited time they had together- on something that couldn’t be solved?

“To show I have the right way of thinking about it. That I belong in that research group. It’s- it’s important.”

“Mm. Yeah, okay, I get it. I mean, I don’t, but…”

“I’ve wasted so much time,” Sasuke muttered under his breath.

“What time?” Naruto asked, concerned at the tone in Sasuke’s voice. What was Sasuke trying to achieve?

“I just- I’m just making up for it. I know it means I’m- neglecting you-”

“You’re not,” Naruto snapped, grabbing Sasuke’s hand and gripping it tight. “Don’t think like that! I like seeing you interested in this stuff.”

Sasuke leaned back heavily against the couch, carefully avoiding Naruto’s eyes. “Yeah, well, it’s the first time I’ve really been interested in any of it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… Do you know why I even started classes at uni anyway?”

Well, that was obvious. “Because you’re so smart.” Way too smart for high school.

Sasuke scoffed. “Because I was…bored. Frustrated. …empty. Itachi thought I needed something…else. Anyway, it was a convenient excuse to spend less time at school, so I didn’t mind. But I didn’t really care, though. Now I care. There’s so much to do. It’s…hard to balance.”

Naruto stared at him. Yes, that was it. The change that Naruto had seen, in the past few months. Sasuke cared more. Not just about him, or Itachi, but about school and uni, about Sakura and Ino, about video games and movies. And, okay, more about Naruto as well.

“Sasuke…”

“If I can get into this research group, I’ll be working with the best minds at uni. I want to, Naruto! I’m sick of just coasting along. I can do it.”

“Of course you can. I want you to. I- it makes you happy, I know it does.”

Only now Sasuke met his eyes. “Besides, I need to have something to occupy myself while you and Itachi are at work. You’re both so busy these days.”

Naruto’s heart sank, and he dropped Sasuke’s hand. He knew it. He was working too much. He should have been-

“No, that’s not what I meant, Naruto!” Sasuke quickly went on, snatching his hand again. “I can take care of myself. And why shouldn’t I be working hard as well? I’m just saying, this is a big apartment to be alone in, and- I’ve been telling Itachi all year that we should get a cat, but he-” and then Sasuke stopped, abruptly, and gave Naruto a wide-eyed, shocked expression.

“We didn’t get you a cat,” Naruto quickly said, faltering. “Sasuke!”

Sasuke stood at once, and stormed off towards his brother’s room. “Itachi!” he called out. “Hurry up! Get out here!”

And finally, blessedly, Itachi emerged, cradling a large box in his arms. “Be patient, would you?” he scolded. “Sit down over there.”

Sasuke did so at once, speechless, and stared at the box that Itachi lay down gently in front of him. He reached out to the artfully-tied green and red ribbons. “Naruto,” he called out, pausing his hands and turning back to the couch.

“Open it,” Naruto urged, joining Sasuke on the floor. “Come on!” After all, he’d been waiting for weeks to meet them.

“I can’t,” Sasuke said, struggling to untie the ribbons with shaking hands.

Naruto reached out to undo them, then let Sasuke open the lid. Up popped two tiny black-and-white heads, and Sasuke went speechless.

“Shit, they’re so cute,” Naruto exclaimed, glancing at Itachi. “Good choice, bro. Aww! Look at them, Sasuke!”

Sasuke was looking at them, and they were looking at him, and all three were rigid and unmoving. Then, finally, the larger kitten placed a furry paw on the edge of the box and gave a tiny mewl.

“Oh my god,” Sasuke squeaked, reaching out for the kitten, who was standing and straining to get out of the box now. Sasuke picked her up and held her to his chest, staring at the fluffy thing in wonder. He stroked her ears and down her back, and the kitten instantly started purring.

Naruto melted. “They’re adorable,” he said to Itachi.

“They’re a little shy,” Itachi warned, speaking to Sasuke. “And still settling in. Be gentle-”

“I will be,” Sasuke interrupted, reaching down for the other, smaller kitten. She squirmed a little, trembling, but was happy to be near her sister again. They both nuzzled into Sasuke’s chest, staring up at him and purring. “Do they have names?”

“Not yet,” Itachi said.

“Nothing math related,” Naruto groaned.

Sasuke spared him a quick glance, rolling his eyes.

“Or Matt Damon related,” Naruto quickly added.

“They’re mine, though,” Sasuke retorted. “Right?” he asked Itachi. “They’re staying?”

“Of course. They’re all yours.”

“Thank you,” Sasuke breathed. He leaned back on the couch, and placed the kittens in his lap. “Thank you,” he repeated, this time directed at Naruto. He stretched out to kiss Naruto on the cheek.

Naruto blushed. “Well, we thought, you’ve always wanted one, and we thought you’d like the company, so!”

“Here,” Sasuke said, handing him the larger kitten.

It was the softest thing Naruto had ever felt. He cradled her gently, petting her fur. He looked over at Sasuke, and saw him smile. It was the first true smile he’d seen on Sasuke’s face in weeks.

He turned his gaze to Itachi, and saw the older Uchiha smiling as well. Naruto felt a strange unknown tension leave his body; a tension he hadn’t known was there.

“I’ve wanted one for so long,” Sasuke murmured, stroking the kitten in his lap gently. “Now I have two.”

“And all the stuff they need,” Naruto said. “We picked out the coolest toys, and bowls, and brushes, all kinds of things!” Shopping with Itachi for kitten toys had been the most fun Naruto had ever had with the slightly scary man.

“Don’t you have a present for Naruto as well?” Itachi prompted.

“I have no idea,” Sasuke said, eyes not leaving the kitten in his lap.

Naruto laughed. “That can wait.” This was all he needed; seeing Sasuke happy. Seeing Sasuke get what he wanted. What other present could be as good as that?

“Merry Christmas, babe,” Naruto said, kissing Sasuke’s cheek.

“Merry Christmas,” Sasuke said back, smiling over at Itachi as well. “The best one ever.”

***

A/N: So, did Naruto deliberately get Sasuke two female kittens, so that Sasuke couldn’t name them Matt Damon and Mark Watney? The world will never know.

A quick word on the delays on this fic, and my absence from writing & Tumblr. I still haven’t had the heart to officially discontinue this fic, but it’s been very hard to even think of updating it this year. Apart from work and life being busy, I seem to be going through a sex-adverse phase. It’s very strange; even though I’m ace (surprise, for anyone who didn’t know that), it’s never bothered me to read or write about sex before. Like, seriously never bothered me- I enjoyed it, as strange as that sounds. Until a few months ago, at least, when almost overnight I could barely stand be on Tumblr and even kissing on TV had me scrunching my nose up in disgust. Who knows why? Life is weird, *shrug*.

That phase slowly seems to be easing now, but not really enough for me to seriously think of completing this fic. Sex is just too large a part of the story- I’m not capable of/interested in it right now, but I hope to find a way of giving it an ending, anyway.

Anyway tl;dr: it’s not likely Something New will get the ending that I planned for it, but I still hope to give it some kind of ending…eventually. *runs away and hides again*.