WeebWrites

(so few things)

There were 3 moments for him. The first 2 were times when he, out of nowhere, just quoted a meme reference and without missing a beat you responded. 

But there was a moment he vividly remembered. 

It was at a party. They had decided to increase the capacity of the guest list, and though you never expressed it, there was a bit of pressure on your part as the planner. He tried his best to help but he was occupied with work and his brother settling in. 

You took it like a champ, but the nerves really set in on the morning of the party. 

He watched you that day clean, moisturize, and exfoliate every inch of your skin. Saeyoung didn’t dare bother you during the ritual. 

Finally, the party came. Normally, Saeyoung would drive you to the venue, but since his brother wouldn’t be attending, he wanted to make sure everything was in order before he left him. And so, you headed to the venue earlier.

When he arrived, the party was already well underway. 

His eyes searched the crowd for your familiar stature with a half-jesting apology already forming on his lips. 

He spotted you by one of the tables speaking to the owner of a small jewelry business. The woman seemed to enjoy your company. She was inviting you to the new store they opened in the mall. It was their first expansion and you looked just as elated as she did.

A younger woman was beside her. Immediately, your demeanor shifted. You were a bit cheerier, a bit less formal. She was talking to you about a dating sim you both played. You laughed at something she said. Something about tragic backstories and how writers knew how to hurt their readers.

And he found himself pausing at the sight… at the normalcy of the scene.

His midnight thoughts crept up in his moment of hesitation.

Perhaps this is what you really needed. Normalcy. Idle chatter about going to the mall. Playing video games to pass the time. It should be this and not…

Not waiting for hours on end to make sure he comes back home in one piece

Not dealing with sleepless nights because you got woken up by the screaming

And certainly not putting up with… him.

With his skillset, it would be a simple thing to disappear. To retreat into the crowd and wipe the entirety of his existence from your life. 

You got pulled into this life because of him and now that you’re with him…you’re even deeper.

No, you don’t deserve this. You deserve a normal life. A peaceful one. 

His mouth suddenly dried and the half-jesting apology dissipated on his tongue. 

He took one step back. And before he knew it, he was walking away from the scene… from you.

His heart hammered in his chest. Taking hold of his breaths. Thoughts ravaged in his mind.

He’s doing it again. He’s pushing you away. 

No, this is the right thing to do.

Wait, just… he has to calm down. This isn’t the answer.

But it is. The only thing he’s going to give you is trouble.

No, that’s not true. You love him. You’ll always love him.

But he doesn’t deserve that. And you… you don’t deserve all the shit he’s got with him.

No, it’s going to be okay. Just calm down.

No. Disappear. He has to leave right now. Before you fall in deeper.

No. Stay. Just stay.

No. Leave—

Arms snaked around his waist. His fight or flight instinct flared up. He fists clenched but before he could do anything else, a voice halted the torrent of his thoughts.

“Caught you!” you yelled with a giggle. 

He turned his head as you rested your chin on his shoulder. “H-h…hey,” he answered in a low voice. You smiled at him. His heart slowed at the sight of your face. “You look beautiful.”

Your eyes narrowed in a jesting glare. “If you think flattering me will get you out of trouble you’ve got another thing coming, mister. Don’t think I didn’t see you running away while I dealt with Mr. Dokgo. That was seriously cruel.”

His hands reached up to touch the arms holding him in place. “Sorry. I didn’t think you needed me.”

“And where did you get that idea? I’ll always need you and because of that,” your glare became sharper and your voice dropped an octave, “I will always find you.”

Something in those words and the jokingly ominous manner you phrased it unlatched something in his chest. And with it, a warmth washed over his stature and he felt his mouth spread to a grin. Then, catching onto your jest, he faked a sob. “There will be no escape for me. This is my life now. Trapped and helpless.”

“I’m glad you understand your unfortunate circumstances. As punishment, you are sentenced to feeding me honey buddha chips while we watch the best or arguably worst bollywood film I can find.”

He chuckled. “Okay.”

“And… and you have to buy me and Saeran our favorite ice cream flavors.”

“Roger that.”

“We each get one pint.”

“Hm. You’re really milking this aren’t you?”

“Oh! And you’re taking me to a cat cafe as soon as you’re available.”

He nodded with equal parts of sincerity and resignation. “Yes, ma’am.”

The two of you paused when you heard a sigh. In front of you, Zen stood with a bored expression. “I mean, I know you guys are in love but really? In front of the guests?”

A blush coated your cheeks. A real one. Not the kind that your makeup gave you. You released him immediately and the urge to distance himself has all but dissipated.

“It’s time for your speech,” Zen informed.

You gave Zen a mock salute before walking off. “Hey, I’ll catch you later, okay?”

Hey. Don't feel awkward, I'm so happy you messaged me, you're the first one. Yeah requests are open, so let me know what you'd like. I'm new to this kind of thing but I'll try my best.

People like to think that CEO’s have it easy. That they sit in their big office with their feet up on their mahogany desk, smoking cigars as they watch the money come in. 

Wrong. It’s weeks of working 80 hours. It’s every minute of your day meticulously planned. It’s stacks of paperwork, 30 urgent emails in an hour, it’s meetings upon meetings upon meetings, it’s… missing three date nights in a row.

Jumin has warned you that these few months will be an especially busy period, but he’ll be sure to fulfill his ‘boyfriend’ responsibilities.

Well… that hasn’t exactly panned out as well as he thought.

The first time he had canceled, you waved it off and said there was no issue. The second time, your smile had wavered, but told him you understood. He tried to console you by saying you could eat at the restaurant by yourself. It was dinner time and the reservation was still there. You turned him down and said you’d rather go home and eat at your place.

And now, well, he was lucky that he couldn’t see your face when he called you to cancel. Still, you were uncharacteristically quiet throughout his monologue. At the end of it, you simply said, “I understand. I’ll catch you later.” 

If you had gotten angry, screamed at him

and cried through the call telling him he was a liar 

and that he always chooses work over you… 

well, he’d take that. In fact, he’d rather have that than the quiet surrender you gave. 

As Jumin’s hands danced across his keyboard to reply to an email, he told himself he can’t drown in the issue too long. What’s done is done, instead, he’lld make it up to you a hundred times over. He’s going abroad next month. He should take you with him. At the hotel you’re staying at, he’ll be sure to fill up the place with your favorite flowers, a nice candle lit dinner, a new outfit, and any purchasable item that you even happen to breathe on. 

Later, he’ll tell you about it. He’ll apologize and tell you about the trip. 

It was nearly lunch time when the glass door to his office swung open.

Before he could even tear his eyes from his computer, the intruder spoke, “Jumin Han.”

There you stood by his door. Hands crossed over your chest. The stern expression on your face made his fingers freeze mid-sentence.

“…hello,” was his lame greeting.

You crossed the room and rounded his table to stand by his side then, to his surprise, set a timer on your watch.

Jumin arched his brow and spun his chair about to face you “What are you—” He clamped his mouth shut when you planted yourself onto his lap and wrapped your arms around his frame.

“There’s a 10 minute window before you go to a lunch meeting. It’s mine,” you declared.

Jumin’s hands retreated from his computer and wrapped around your frame. “Were you feeling lonely, dear?”

“Yes,” you answered with a petulant pout. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” you tell him. He could feel the vibration of your voice on his shoulder. “I know this is your life and I won’t be selfish about it. Just give me 10 minutes.”

He wrapped his arms tighter around you. 

There would be times where a passing comment, or a conversation thought to be out of earshot, would say that you were lucky to be with someone like him. Rich, brilliant, young, and handsome, Jumin Han. That was ludicrous. All along, always, he was the lucky one.

“Next mo—” he cut himself off. No, the trip next month was too long. No. “Let’s have dinner tonight. Whatever you want.”

You gasped and giggled. You broke away from the hug to look at his face. “Really? Are you free?”

“I’ll finish work by 8 in the evening, is that okay?”

“Yeah! I can wait. We don’t need to go out. Let’s just eat at your place and watch a movie!” You paused and hummed in thought. “I think I know a good movie that you and I can watch. It’ll be great.”

His hand reached up to caress your face. “I can’t wait.”

He thought about it everyday.

Two years had passed since he left to find himself and when he returned for the party, there you were. 

He confessed to you then and there. He vividly remembered the scent of your hair while you were wrapped in his arms. 

Four years had gone since then, and by now, he thought he’d be ready to move to the next stage of his life… a life sworn to eternity with you.

And yet, whenever the conversation came up, he found himself retreating. 

But perhaps both of you should be. Neither of you are getting younger. Moreover, he really shouldn’t keep you waiting. His indecisiveness was making you walk on a path with no destination. 

Still, every time he retreated from the subject, you were… okay. There was a hand. A smile. A quiet promise that said. I love you and it’s okay. 

He loves you, there’s no doubt in his mind about that but he didn’t want to make promises he couldn’t keep. What they don’t tell you about recovery is that, sometimes, you relapse to your old habits. And well, he didn’t want to put that on you.

But then came that day.

He went abroad on a job. A travel agency wanted him to take promotional photos on the hotels they were endorsing as part of their deals. He was gone for nearly a month.

Although he wanted nothing more but to see you the moment he landed, you insisted that he get some rest first. His flight lands at 3 in the afternoon and you didn’t want him to wait for you to get off work. He quietly conceded. 

When he landed he wanted to get some food first, instead, he received an urgent call from the staff of his condominium.

One of the pipes burst. Several units were flooded. Jihyun immediately drove home. A hundred different thoughts went through his head. All the things that were damaged… all the photos.

The staff profusely apologized upon his arrival, but much to his surprise, they told him you were there already. You had arrived an hour earlier and dealt with the situation.

“Oh hey, you’re back!” you greeted as soon as he flung the door open. The place was a mess. The floor was dry now, but there were spots that had a soaked towel in it. His mattress was gone and the sheets sat in a pile in the corner.

You look like you just had a shower and dressed yourself in his clothes. “I… what happened? Why are you here?”

You turned around to face him fully. “Your neighbor contacted me when the pipe burst. A unit upstairs apparently hit a pipe, so it messed up the water pressure and whatnot.”

“What about work?”

You were confused by his question. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Anyways, I sent the most pressing items to the laundromat. Uh… about your studio, I managed to save some of the boxes with photos but yeah… I didn’t get to them in time. I think the painting got ruined.— Oh no. Are you mad? I’m really sorry.”

He didn’t realize he was making such a disheartened face. “No, I’m not mad at you.” He was mad at himself. That he didn’t believe that in all your quiet promises. That it took him this long to realize it.

“Hey, Jihyun,” you said, closing the distance between the two of you, “Look, you’re clearly tired and hungry. So why don’t I grab you some food and for the time being you stay at my place.”

He held your hands. “I love you,” he declared. “I’ll love you forever.”

Marriage was a distant thought to Saeran. He never really considered it. With everything that’s happened, really, it’s the last thing he could even begin thinking of. That was fine, you never pushed him to jump into anything he wasn’t ready for. 

He could remember the day he changed his mind though, or at least, felt a shift in his heart. 

At the time, some days were better than others. And when they weren’t… they really weren’t.

His brother had to be out of town for an entire week, and so, the two of you figured to stay at your place for a few days. 

He had a terrible time falling asleep. Too many thoughts in his head. Thoughts such as, if you wake up one day and decided you didn’t want to bear his burden with him, well, he wouldn’t blame you. Thoughts such as, the longer he spends with you, the more he’d ruin you. Thoughts such as, he wanted to be okay. Just for a day. To be okay so you wouldn’t have a hard time.

A nightmare came for him that night. Nothing gruesome. Or perhaps it was. He couldn’t remember anymore. All he knew was that he grasped for your presence, only to wake up and realize you were gone.

His heart leapt to his throat and he ripped his sheet away to reach for his phone on your nightstand. A text message read: Heeeey, I had to leave super early. I have to deal with an emergency. Didn’t want to wake you. Tell me when you’re up though!

He was frustrated, immediately. First, at you, for leaving so early, then at himself, for thinking such things. It’s fine, he’ll deal with it. He had to learn to deal with his emotions by himself. He had to learn to be stronger for you.

His mood didn’t improve throughout the day. Even when he did some work to get his mind off of it.

Saeran slammed his laptop shut and leaned back on the couch. From his seat, he spotted the trash can. It was filled to the brim. Not only that, it couldn’t even close with how much trash there was. He remembered telling you to take that out 2 days ago, why is it still there?

The door clicked open then and you strode inside with a bag of groceries. “Oh hi, you’re up. Didn’t you see my text?”

He did. He didn’t really want to reply.

His lack of reply didn’t deter you. “I ran into an old classmate on the way home, she’s inviting me to a party, but honestly we weren’t even that close so I don’t know if I should go. I remember she once told me I had weird legs…” 

As you narrated your day, you organized the groceries.

Saeran was only half listening. The other half was sitting in a boiling pot of anger and frustration.

“Hey, is everything okay?” you asked when you noticed his unnatural silence. “Sorry that dinner is taking so long, do you want to eat something while you wait?”

Saeran rolled his eyes. “You know what I want? I want you to take out the trash already. It’s been a full 24 hours since I asked you to take it out and there it is. I can’t believe you can live in this kind of mess!”

“Oh, well I—”

“You’ve been walking around in the kitchen for nearly an hour, you don’t notice how the trash doesn’t even close anymore? You remember what your aunt said about your shirt 3 weeks ago but you can’t remember to take out the trash you see everyday? Grow up!”

He watched the expression on your face melt from surprise and confusion into quiet vitriol. Your breath heaved. His throat tightened. Then, came the tears. Your lips quivering with words you refused to release. Only then did he realize he’s gone too far.

Without a word, you put the potholder down on the counter and pull the trash bag out of the can and tie it off nicely. You crossed the room.

“MC, I—”

You held a hand up to stop him before grabbing your wallet and keys. “I love you, but I need a moment,” you told him before you walked out the door.

Saeran’s heart dropped to his gut when he heard the door shut. This was bad. This was really bad. You’ve had arguments before but this was the first time he’s seen you so angry you couldn’t even speak. 

He should go after you. Wait. No. That would be worse. You’ll be back. Right? What you said earlier definitely means you’ll come back. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

Saeran bolted out the door. Looking both ways on the street. You were nowhere to be found. 

He messed up big time. Why is he like this? Why her? Of all people why her?

Walking back inside, he tried not to panic. He should call you. His eyes jumped to the couch where his phone sat. He dialed your number only to discover that you had left your phone on the dinner table.

His fault. His fault. His fault. He’s shit. His fault. His fault. You left. It’s his fault. He shouldn’t have taken it out on you. Not your fault. Not your fault. 

Saeran curled himself up on the wall next to the door.

He doesn’t know for how long he sat there. This wasn’t the first time this has happened. He’s snapped before…but… you always stayed. 

You always stayed…

The door clicked open and he sprang out of the ground.

There you were. Despite your insistence to look indifferent, the spot of redness under your eyes betrayed you. He did this to you. His fault. His fault. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean any of it, I promise. I…I’m not okay… I’m not okay. It’s not your fault. I took it out on you and I’m so sorry. Please don’t leave again.” Tears started flowing down your cheeks and nails dug into his heart. He wanted to touch you. Was he allowed to touch you? Please just don’t leave.  “I… I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I’ll do anything, just… I really didn’t—”

THWACK!

A cold object collided with his chest and landed on the ground. Saeran looked down and it was a packet of popsicle ice cream. He bent down to pick it up. When he looked up at you, you had wiped away your tears and had a pout on your face.

“Just eat your ice cream.”

Despite his confident demeanor, Zen had plenty of insecurities about his looks. After all, years of verbal abuse won’t disappear overnight. 

No matter how many times he would tell everyone he was perfection embodied, a little snake in his head would always tell him he’s just fooling himself. That all along, his parents had been right and he was on the wrong path. 

These fears will never be voiced, especially not in front of you. 

Even on the days he would ask you, “Jagiya, isn’t your boyfriend especially beautiful today?” and you’d look at him with a delighted smile, that snake would come slithering into his head a few moments later.

There was a day, however, when that voice… Well, it wasn’t silenced completely, but at the very least, it gave him a foothold for bad days.

He still remembered that morning. It was a particularly warm day. He had rehearsals for a movie, and you were off to meet with an old classmate.

“I mean, do you really have to go?” he asked.

You were in the mirror, fixing your hair. “Hyun, it’s not a date. It’s business. He has a fiance for crying out loud!” you shouted with a chuckle.

“You can never tell until the knot is tied… and even if it is you can’t.”

You looked over to him with half a glare. “Our party is in a month and he has excellent connections. Connections that will make excellent guests.”

That was exactly why he felt uneasy about it. If he had excellent connections, he’s probably a rich businessman who’s got a way with words.

“It’s going to be an hour tops and then I’ll drop by your set. We can have dinner together.”

“Promise?”

“Absolutely,” you said, sealing the promise with a kiss on his cheek.

And so, you two went off to your own businesses. 

It was strange though. He knew it would take you more than an hour to get to the set, but he didn’t expect you to be 3 hours late. Besides, whenever you were going to be late for anything, you never failed to update him.

The director called a wrap and so he called you. You didn't answer. He called and called and called. Each time that your phone went into voicemail, he was growing more paranoid. 

What if… you enjoyed your childhood friend company too much?

All those promises he said after the incident. That he’d protect you. That you were the most important thing to him. That he wanted nothing more than to be with you. That his biggest fear would be for you to disappear… What if that was coming true today?

Stay calm. Your phone could be faulty, out of battery, you could be at home.

He was about to rush home when one of his co-star’s personal assistant’s stopped him.

“Thank goodness I caught you.”

“I’m kind of busy, what is it?” he asked, a bit too harshly.

“The hospital called us, they said your partner was in an accident, they’ve been trying to reach you but they don’t exactly know how.”

He took a cab to the hospital immediately fearing the worst. Hating himself even more to even consider that you were off having fun with someone else.

“Ah yes. There’s no need to worry. There was a collision with a biker and resulting in a dislocated kneecap but the doctors were able to fix it with no problem. The anesthesia is wearing off so go ahead.”

And he did. There you laid on the bed talking to one of the nurses. The nurse had a smile on her face.

“All I’m saying is… like… you know like fruit? Yeah… like, if fruit takes like...like... more than 2... if it takes a lot of steps for you to do the thing, what do you do?”

“You eat it?” asked the nurse.

“Yeah yeah yeah yeah. That. If it takes more than like… yeah 2 steps to get to good stuff. Not fruit… It's bad fruit.

The nurse spotted him. “I think someone is here to see you,” she walked towards him. “Just a heads up. Anesthesia has a way of making people a bit too honest,” she warned before leaving.

“Thank goodness you're okay,” he told you with a sigh of relief.

Your eyes squinted to look at him. Your hands stretched out your hands and he held out his own, but you swept them away. Instead, you gestured for his face to come closer. 

Zen knelt down to do as you wished. With both hands cupping his face, your eyes lit up in recognition. “Ah… I know you.” 

He chuckled. “I certainly hope you do.”

You nodded to yourself. Pleased. “Uh-huh, you’re my beautiful boyfriend. My beautiful boyfriend is here.”

Yoosung

It was his friend’s fault. 

His university had a freshmen week where every student organization makes a booth to recruit new members. 

Unfortunately, Yoosung’s organization wasn't permitted to have a mini petting zoo. In exchange, they had to dress up as animals and host a number of carnival games.

You decided to pay him a visit. He really didn’t want you to see him in a puppy onesie with ear headbands, so he told you to come during lunch. Someone will take over by that time, so you two could eat and walk around. 

His friends, however, had different plans.

They texted you to come around 11 so you could get the Yoosung-in-a-puppy onesie experience. 

The moment you saw him, you laughed. His flushed expression only added fuel to the fire.

He’ll have to get revenge on his friends later on.

“You're enjoying this way too much,” he said in feigned anger.

You smiled at him as the two of you walked in the courtyard. “Of course, I am. We should buy matching ones.”

He wasn’t opposed to that at all.

“Excuse me,” a student stopped the both of you, “Yoosung and MC, right?” The two of you nodded. Before you could ask what he wanted, your right hand and Yoosung’s left hand were cuffed together. “You’re late for your wedding.”

He was a member of the literature club, the organization with a marriage booth. You could pay to get married, or someone will pay to have you marry someone.

His friends did the latter. 

Yoosung was breaking out in cold sweat on the way to the booth. Although you two have been dating for nearly 2 years, you told each other you’d have that conversation only after graduation. I mean, he was still relying on his parents for his tuition, he didn’t even have his own money yet. And you, well, you had your own family circumstance to clean up before you could consider a future.

It was all messy. You two were still young and you barely had anything to your name. 

More than that, you two haven’t really been talking all that much because you’re both in busy periods of your life. 

What were his friends thinking? This is going to be bad. What if… what if you start thinking about it? What if you get scared and tell him to cool off for a bit?

The “priest” looked at them with eyes filled with mischief. The rule was, they would ask pre-planned questions from his friends about each other. If they get the answer wrong they must pay a fine. 

“Silence!” the “priest” yelled to his friends cheering in the back. “First question, to the bride, what’s a bad habit of his?”

She chuckled. “He, uh, he sometimes forgets to eat because he’s too busy studying or playing. Strangely though, when I’m around he never forgets to feed me.”

The crowd cheered. “Correct. To the bride, where was your first kiss?”

That question was easy. “At a party,” he answered. She wore a red dress. It was the first time he saw her in real life. Stunning. He didn’t think anyone could be that pretty.

The crowd cheered even louder. 

“This is the last set of questions. To the bride, what’s his full name?

“This is my boyfriend… well, I suppose in this case, my fiance, Yoosung Kim.”

The crowd went wild and she laughed at their reactions.

“To the groom, what’s her full name?”

Again, it was easy. He spoke her full name and had an inkling to change her surname. 

The “priest” told them to face one another “MC, do you pledge to help him to develop his heart and mind, cultivating compassion, generosity, ethics, patience, enthusiasm, concentration, and wisdom as you age and undergo the various ups and downs of life and to transform them into the path of love, compassion, joy, and equanimity?”

“I do,” she answered him with a note of amusement, as she had no other choice but to say so.

“And do you, Yoosung, do you pledge to help her to develop her heart and mind, cultivating compassion, generosity, ethics, patience, enthusiasm, concentration, and wisdom as you age and undergo the various ups and downs of life and to transform them into the path of love, compassion, joy, and equanimity?”

“I do,” he answered, because no other answer came to him. 

“In the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Usually I’d give you the option to kiss each other on the cheek, forehead or have an eskimo kiss but I think the crowd wants a real kiss. Who wants a real kiss?”

The crowd cheered and the two of you obliged.