Welcome To Site 69

Mr. [REDACTED] was first brought to the Foundation’s attention when he, whilst wearing SCP-44667, proceeded to [DATA EXPUNGED]; an alligator was [REDACTED]. The man in question then [REDACTED] [DATA EXPUNGED BY ORDER OF SITE DIRECTOR] like the bank teller, while [DATA EXPUNGED] large quantities of an illicit substance known as Krokodil; it was later [REDACTED] [DATA EXPUNGED] the ruins of a Jeep. [DATA EXPUNGED]. SCP-44667 was the only thing to survive the resulting conflagration.

SCP-44667 was collected by a vacationing Foundation staffer and brought to Site 69 for testing and containment.

Researcher Pix's note: Ok, I get it. You could have told me no, it's above your clearance to see this part. This is just mad libs at this point.

All relevant testing, interview and incident logs are included below.

[LOADING TEST LOG 1-A] .... ....

SCP-44667 TEST LOG 1-A LEAD RESEARCHER: DR SNEK

[BEGIN LOG]

Dr. Snek: Hello, D-233. Can you describe for me what you see?

D-233: Uh, a baseball cap on a table? It’s got a [REDACTED] logo on it. And a hole in the brim.

Dr. Snek: Very good. Please put SCP-44667 on your head.

D-233: Is it gonna kill me?

Dr. Snek: Please cooperate with the test, D-233. Your failure to do so will result in unpleasant consequences.

[D-233 puts SCP-44667 on his head. Nothing happens. D-233 sits down on the now-empty table.]

D-233: Is, uh, is something supposed to happen? I think this one’s broken.

Dr. Snek: Interesting. Please remain where you are, I’d like to come in for a closer look.

[Dr. Snek enters through a small door at floor height beside the regular door.]

Dr. Snek: Please look at me, D-233. You don’t feel any different?

D-233: I mean, I…I….hey. Heeeeey….

Dr. Snek: D-233? What are you doing?

D-233: I always wanted to tie a snake in a knot!

Dr. Snek: SECURITY! BACK OFF! BACK OFF OR I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL-

[D-233 roughly picks up Dr. Snek and is bitten a total of fifteen times, the injuries sustained on both hands and arms, with one being on his nose. The bites prove fatal. The recording ends as security forcibly enters the room.]

Lead Researcher's Notes:

SCP-44667 is what I am terming the “idiot hat”, where putting it on your head results in you deciding on the stupidest and most dangerous course of action available to you at that given moment. Any further testing of SCP-44667 should be done with armed guards on standby at all times.

Also, ow, my fangs.

The hazmat suit used by Dr. Blue had been sealed in a standard protocol containment locker since ██/██/████, less than 48 hours after the initial experiment. This suggests to me that Dr. Sparrow had been aware of the beginning of a new instance emergence and followed contamination protocol in case her fears turned out to be correct.

The suit and all tools used had been sent at my request to the Forensics Department for evaluation, and with the aid of Maintenance, determine if any failure of equipment occurred. They reported that all parts of the suit were functioning as normal and that there was no breach anywhere in Dr. Blue’s equipment that could have led to her accidentally or intentionally touching the SCP. This includes contamination from the outside.

Dr. Sparrow’s hazmat equipment was also taken in for evaluation, with the same result.

Camera footage of the biopsy in question shows nothing amiss in the events leading up to, during, and after the experiment. From all camera angles, we can see that standard decontamination protocols were followed. No foreign objects entered with them into the containment chamber.

The guards on duty in 7619’s containment sector that day have all been interviewed. The doctors were both checked for foreign contaminants and objects and given the all clear. Given the fact that the guard postings in that sector had recently been rotated by routine scheduling, I sincerely doubt that Drs. Blue or Sparrow were able to keep anything on their persons to intentionally give to the SCP, or have enough time to plan something like this, knowing the repercussions. It should be noted, however, that the shuffling of large quantities of staff in such a short time has a tendency to impede work efficiency, and sometimes things are overlooked.

All in all, my initial observations conclude that Dr. Blue is innocent of any intentional wrongdoing associated with this breach.

[ Director, these are my notes regarding most of the technical facts surrounding this investigation. I have yet to conduct interviews with Engineering and meet with the Security Chief; given that prior to the biopsy some containment engineers were around 7619’s containment cell. It may be a false lead, but it’s a lead nonetheless.

And a couple final notes: I highly recommend that the doctor keep her position. I doubt that this was intentional, given the overwhelming evidence in her favour.

However, given the fact that SCP 7619-1-42 now exists, somehow Dr. Blue’s DNA came in contact with SCP-7619. If it didn’t come from the doctor herself, or the research lead, I suspect something else might be going on, and we need to find out what it is.

I... also think it would be in the Site’s best interests to not terminate this Dash One. For one, it isn’t a D-Class, and it most certainly isn’t hostile. It would be an excellent opportunity to study its interactions, relationships, and overall life cycle, if it possesses one. Also considering the ethical implications of terminating this particular instance (brought to my attention by several members of senior staff), I propose we simply contain this one for further study.

I'll be awaiting your decision.