The Mandatory Stuff

WEEK 10

Fear of the unknown is always a crippler and for her to no know what might happen or how she might feel if she followed through in a moment of physical intimacy is a very resonant feeling. 

This really needs to be emphasised more on the page, I know, I know.

Reaction to inciting incident: Escape

Obstacle: Lack of direction/ being alone

T’is dense and more like prose that script, I know, but it is far from the final draft. Worry not.

Set up is Man’s initial run through of his day, and his emotional detachment and what have you.

My only qualm you’ve already identified - it’s super wordy, and dense. I mean, the writing is wonderful, and a pleasure to read, but I get the feeling this sequence might last eight or nine minutes on screen. 

Set Up

Teenage house party. Carmen is quiet, blends between rooms unnoticed. She’s new to town. Sips coke; a wallflower.

Inciting Incident

She’s invited to play a game of Seven Minutes in Heaven.

Obstacle No.1 

Carmen’s bottle is spun. It points towards the perennial school ass. 

Reaction

Though uncomfortable, drunken peers pressure her into continuing. She chooses to take part. Enters closet with the boy. 

Obstacle No.2

He’s handsy. Smells of alcohol and cigarettes. Face full of acne. Carmen has never kissed a boy before and isn’t interested in having her first kiss with him.

Reaction

Carmen tells him no. He’s forceful. She tells him that he can tell everyone that they had sex tonight if he lets her leave. 

Obstacle No.3

He complies though only if there’s photographic “evidence” of their time together.

Reaction 

The next Monday. Carmen is at school. Hot girls - the ‘in’ girls - flock around Carmen. They’re supportive. Outraged on her behalf. Pass her a photo on their phones that has circulated throughout the weekend. It’s of Carmen, the revealing photo that she willingly took in the closet. 

She feigns upset. 

Conclusion

Set-up:

We are introduced to twelve-year-old Norah who lives with her divorced father in a suburban down in mid-west USA. Her father has recently acquired a new girlfriend, a veterinarian, and Norah is less than pleased about it. Her wound is abandonment. Her mother left her at a young age, and since then she has struggled to understand healthy relationships. 

Inciting Incident:

Norah dissects a frog at school. She takes the task very seriously, and executes the dissection with precision and intelligence. 

Protagonist’s action taken in response to Inciting Incident

On her way home from school, Norah kills a real frog. Over time, Norah goes on a murder spree, killing her neighbours pets. She despises her dad’s veterinarian girlfriend so much so that she enjoys bringing pain to the very things which the girlfriend tries to heal. Norah figures that if she kills all the neighbourhood pets, the girlfriend will have no clients, and be forced to relocate. 

Obstacle #1 encountered in the course of taking action

A boy from school sees Norah killing a dog. Norah has a crush on this boy, and she is embarrassed to be found in a vulnerable situation. 

Protagonist’s response to Obstacle:

Norah confides in him, and he understands her. He decides to help her kill more animals, and they begin working as a team. Their friendship blossoms and for once Norah understands what it feels like to have a friend. She doesn’t feel so alone anymore. 

Obstacle #2 encountered in the course of taking action (if appropriate):

A tornado rips through the town. The tornado passes directly through Norah’s property, lifting the loose soil off the hundreds of dead animal carcasses. The dead animals go swirling through the air, and scatter around the suburban town to be found by their heartbroken owners. 

Protagonist’s response to Obstacle

In panic, Norah blames the murders on the girlfriend. The whole town is aware that the animals originated from Norah’s backyard, and so she blames it on the girlfriend who had moved in with them. Since Norah is young and has a ‘good girl’ reputation, the town believes her accusation.  Story ending – Reward or Reversal? And why?

Set-up:

The story starts in Piazza San Marco, Venice, in the late 1700s. It is the last day of Carnevale.

We are introduced to Francisco, a successful shop-owner and reputable figure of Venice. On his arm is his new lover, the young and beautiful Magdalena, who was once married to his greatest rival – Fiorello. They watch people in colourful masks dance. Magdalena asks Francisco to dance with her, but he resists and encourages her to join the throng of people.

Inciting Incident: 

Francisco watches Magdalena dance, but he does not see her. The way her dress caresses her form, the sheen of her midnight hair in the moonlight, the grace of her step, they remind him of his deceased wife, Ornella. For a moment, there is warmth again, the faintest hint of a smile. When Magdalena calls out to him, however, this warmth dissipates. He does not love this woman, and this inspires guilt. 

Response to Inciting Incident:

The next morning, following Ash Wednesday Mass, Francisco goes to confession and admits that he does not love Magdalena because his heart belongs to Ornella. The priest, a newcomer, listens to his confession and informs him that there may be a way to bring her back.

Obstacle #1

Magdalena walks into the church, looking for Francisco. Before Francisco can find out more information, the priest dismisses him.

Obstacle #1 Response

The night after, Francisco, seeking answers, returns to the church. He demands that the priest speak to him, and the priest relents. He explains that God has bestowed him with a gift, a very rare gift, to bring back the dead. Francisco asks him if he can bring Ornella back. He says that he can.

Obstacle #2

However, there is a price. There is always a price. To bring back the dead, then another must take their place – “a life for a life.” Francisco must find a participant for this resurrection, willing or unwilling.

Obstacle #2 Response

After making love to Magdalena, Magdalena tells him that she loves him. This inspires Francisco, and he asks her if she would do anything for him, to which she quickly responds by saying yes. He brings her to the isle of San Michele, where the dead are buried, and they meet the priest.

Magdalena is suspicious. They enter the mausoleum and find where Ornella is buried. When the priest withdraws an athame, Magdalena panics and makes to run, but Francisco knocks her unconscious. The ritual continues.

Conclusion – Reward or Reversal? And why?

It’s a twisted kind of reward in that Francisco does get what he wants – his wife. The priest resurrects Ornella, but she is decrepit, jaundiced and absent. Francisco does not recognise this as his wife. But by the time he turns to address the priest, Ornella lunges and pulls him into her tomb.