Waltzing With The Open Sea

I’m the guy from the lady and the tramp who gives stray dogs pasta and stands in an alleyway playing an accordion for them

I know this is a meaningless tumblr line but this was truly wild from start to finish

That was a wild ride 😂

Trees live underground and use the above-ground part as a snorkel.

I fucking guess

past tense of william shakespeare? william shookspeare

Wouldiwas Shookspeared

delete this

“i don’t care,” i say, caringly, as i care deeply

*sees moon* *remembers outer space* nice

for real, though, why do recipes consistently tell you to use less herbs and spices in than you should. fuck your “two cloves of garlic,” fuck your “half teaspoon of cinnamon,” and you can absolutely go to hell with your “dash of black pepper”

I’m pretty sure that the only time I’ve ever actually managed to overseason food was when working with balsamic vinegar, which is the most overpowering motherfucker of a sauce known to man

i appreciate the energy and anger in this post, which is righteous and just

A friend once tried to replicate my burrito bowl recipe from the same online link I used and was upset it didn’t come out as flavorful, so I had to tell him to imagine that every online recipe is written by a midwestern white lady who thinks ketchup is spicy and adjust the spices accordingly. He nailed those burrito bowls next time.

“imagine that every online recipe is written by a midwestern white lady who thinks ketchup is spicy and adjust the spices accordingly“

The most dangerous game is resting your eyes after you turned off the alarm clock in the morning

I’m here for women with powerful dogs!