FREEDOM WAS IN THE CENTER OF HIS SOUL,   FREEDOM FOR IRELAND, FREEDOM FOR THE WORKING CLASSES.     Equality was laced around in there but perhaps that is what binds them, both of them are rallying against something and he feels like they are drawn together by it,   by their desire to learn more,  to be more    ( I WONT ALWAYS BE A CHAUFFEUR )  and he wants her to be everything she wants to be.     He wants to be a part of it too, as much as she would let him be.   It would be easy to get distracted from his work by staring at her and he knows that it is a good thing that he has his hands busy inside an engine lest he might be tempted to reach out for her or something equally foolish.      This world says that they cannot be friends, never mind anything else    ——but he says that this world is wrong,   above everything else.

“ Perhaps I will—-”      A light flush rushes across freckled cheeks.   her heroic saviour.   sure, it’s an old fashioned view of the world and really Sybil,  Lady Sybil,   did not need anyone to save her, she could save herself, but his heart stutters and warms at the idea of being anything to her.    ( and is it not normally the heroic saviour who earns the hand of the lady he saves? )      In attempt to hide his blush his head is once more under the bonnet of the car, but it does not stop him from talking.    “ —But only if you shall be so kind as to be mine, once my heart inevitably gives out from the fear of it all.”

𝙷𝙾𝚆 𝙷𝙴𝚁 𝙱𝙴𝚃𝚁𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 𝙾𝙵 𝙰 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙵𝙻𝚄𝚃𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂 !     they   are   so   young  ,     so   young  !  ,     and   she   should   never   allow   herself   to   entertain  such   thoughts  .     hasn’t   she   spent   a   lifetime   learning   the   place   of   staff  ?     her   mind   reels   with   cautionary   tales   of   fanciful   affairs  ,     all   the   things   a   good   girl   should   not   do  !     she   is  ,    she   thinks  ,     a   good   girl  ,    but   blooming   with   the   endless   spirit   of   a   rebellion   she   cannot   squash   back   down   to   nothingness  .     OH CAUTION ,     SURELY SHE SHOULD HAVE MORE !     her   desires   are   a   strange   matter  ,     all   consuming  ,     and   she   lives   alone   in   a   world   where   chauffeurs   can   be   heroes   too  ,    and   maybe   friends   with   the   ladies   they’re   there   to   drive  .

This also begins to be the same in Ireland. Until the wedding, she does tend to style her hair better, and keeps it long and does it as expertly as she can manage on her own, because she’s still figuring out her identity in Ireland. She’s trying to reconcile with who she was and who she is and make it make sense. In being married to Tom, she learns that he has a particular fondness for her hair down, and running his fingers through it, and will also spend time brushing it for her. At this point, having her hair down with him becomes something safe to her, and when she styles it, it’s always done faster and much simpler, something that is easy to throw up when she gets ready to go nursing.

When she cuts her hair, it’s on a whim after one of the girls she works with says that it might be more manageable for her. She goes to one of their houses and has her hair cut off into the bob that we see in season three. She does it without thinking, and then panics a little when she goes home to see Tom, worrying that he will hate it since he has such a fondness for her hair down, but he only comments that it’s a lot easier to kiss her neck like this, and she relaxes instantly.

MAYBE HE’S PLAYING THE PART JUST A BIT TOO WELL,  maybe he’s had dreams about holding her hand and falling asleep with her in his arms and everything that came with dating the woman who had been his best friend since his first moments at university.   Sure, the shock of the ‘’’house’’’ that her family owned and the real acknowledgment that they were the very definition of landed gentry took some of the edge off for a while but the shock had mostly warn off  ( even if the exhaustion just from the different ways of doing things hadn’t )   and he’s had to keep reminding himself that this is all just an act.   That instead of asking him out she asked him to pretend to be her boyfriend,  because you’re my best friend tom.        He’d rather be her best friend than nothing, of course, but he’d rather be something more again too and pretending was making it all too difficult to ignore the way he loves her.             Looking up from the cufflinks he’s fiddling with he tries to correct the way that his mouth goes dry at the sight of her.      Stunning, absolutely stunning.     Picking his jaw off the floor,  he somehow snaps himself out of it,   nodding with a smile that’s almost shy and a mouth that’s completely dry.      “ Sure,   what are boyfriends for ? ”   He jokes to try and hide the way he’s enthralled by her.

𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝙰𝚁𝙴 𝙱𝙾𝚈𝙵𝚁𝙸𝙴𝙽𝙳𝚂 𝙵𝙾𝚁 ?          except ,      he   isn’t   really   her   boyfriend  .      not   in   the   way   that   really   counts  ,     the   way   where   she   could   reach   around   and   kiss   him   without   a   thought   and   get   lost   in   his   blue  ,     blue   eyes   and   wake   up   every   morning   with   his   arms   wrapped   around   her  .      SHE SHOULDN’T BE HAVING THOSE KINDS OF THOUGHTS ,     NOT WHEN THEY’RE SO DANGEROUS .     he’s   her   friend  ,     her   best   friend  ,     and   she’s   certain   he’d   never   really   want   her   like   that  .     she   turns   to   hide   the   blush   on   her   face  ,      to   stop   her   from   thinking   about   all   that   could   be  .     it   won’t   be  ,     she   reasons  .      her   hands   shake   a   little  ,     pressing   against   her   legs   to   hide   it  .           ❛ THINK THE THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE SOMETHING ABOUT GETTING ME OUT OF MY DRESS ,     if   you   were   my   boyfriend  . ❜           the   joke   even   sounds   strange   to   her  ,     landing   questionably   on   her    tongue  ,     not   quite   getting   there  .     she   needs   to   stop   doing   this  .

𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙱𝙾𝚄𝙽𝙳𝙰𝚁𝙸𝙴𝚂 𝙶𝙴𝚃 𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙴 𝙱𝙻𝚄𝚁𝚁𝙴𝙳 𝙱𝚈 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙼𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃 ;     somewhere   between   what   they   are   and   what   they   could   be  .     except  ,     she’s   not   sure   he   even   wants   what   they   could   be  .     after   all  ,     tom   has   always   been   kind  .     he   could   just   be   doing   this   because   she   asked  ,     because   he’s   a   good   friend   who   knows   how   hard   these   things   can   be   on   her  .     it’s   hard   to   remember   he’s   meant   to   just   be   her   friend  ,     especially   when   she   woke   up   wrapped   around   him   that   morning  ,     especially   when   she   slept   so   well   that   night  .     today  ,     mary’s   getting   married  ,     and   she’s   determined   not   to   ruin   it   with   overthinking  ,     or   admitting   she’s   in   love   with   her   best   friend  .           ❛ tom ,     can you help me with this zipper ?     it’s   in   the   back   and   i   can’t   reach   it  . ❜

Sybil grows up on a pedestal in the village, with only her sisters for company, truly. Though they are allowed time in the village for events, the other children are taught to treat the Lord’s daughters differently than they would treat their peers. Now this suits Mary and Edith more than it suits Sybil - they hold more traditionally to their father’s beliefs. Sybil, however, looks at the school gates and longs for the chance to go, to experience something outside of her existence, and holds a deep envy for the children who have so many friends. The village children aren’t her friends, and children from other houses like hers are not often brought on visits, and as such, she spends no time around other children, outside of her sisters.

This brings us neatly to Mary and Edith, who are four and three years older than her respectively. Arguably, Mary and Edith are the people she clings to in this, with Mary being the closer of the two. However, Mary and Edith as previously mentioned, do stand more in line with their parent’s views, which - as Sybil grows and comes into her own ideas - alienates her from them further. Added influences here would be that Sybil would have lost her nanny and been thrown into the world of a governess when Edith came of age, as is customary in family’s where the majority are of the right age, meaning that she was only two when she would have made the switch to a Governess, as opposed to the five that both Mary and Edith would be. This further starves her of a level of affection she should have held. (Note, that here I do reason that it was Mary who took on this role in her life, leading to a closer bond between the sisters.) Now, added on to this, is Mary and Edith’s relationship with each other, in which Sybil played the role of peacekeeper predominantly. She watched their fraught and argumentative relationship, though knowing that they did love one another, and was forced to comprehend that she could always be turned against in such a way.

Now, leading on to her teen years and we have Sybil who came out in society three years after Edith, leading to three years in which she was left alone in the house through the summer, with only the servants - who were technically not permitted to have a close relationship with her - and her governess for company. I personally enjoy the headcanon that the Crawley sisters went through multiple Governesses because they were each so strong willed in their own way and no one could handle them, so lets assume that the position was hardly … permenant. While Sybil is seen to be well liked downstairs, due to her gentle personality, there’s a difference between a relationship with an employer and employee, and with a friend. She isn’t exactly close with anyone, and could hardly share her world with them.

Gwen is the first moment when we see Sybil desperately longing for friendship. While Sybil’s belief in Gwen is incredibly real, and strong, and built out of her own belief in female empowerment, there is also an element of Sybil that clings to her friendship. Though they do very genuinely get along, there is always an element of this in which Sybil is the benevolent friend, who is helping Gwen improve herself, that cannot be ignored. Their friendship is amazing, and so important to Sybil as a character, but there is still a large element of class imbalance found within it. In finding Gwen a job, Sybil is quickly then forced to give up this friendship, because she wants to see Gwen succeed, and while they keep in touch with letters, she has given it up.

I do follow the JBF interview in which she speaks about how the proposal is a shock to Sybil because she’s been seeing Tom as a friend, and is just so clouded by excitement to have someone she can talk to. Tom is her age, and for the first time, she’s got someone who has the same interests as her and who begins to break down the class divides that have always kept her separate from the rest of the world. Tom encourages her, which is something Sybil needs, and at the same time, Sybil challenges his world view and gives him something to believe in. They’re both two lonely people who are searching for something and they find that something, and more, in each other. Tom is the first person who truly begins to relieve some of the loneliness within her, because he stays by her side for so long and because they share common ground that she doesn’t have with anyone in her citcle.

GOD HELP HIM HE’S SMILING AT OIL COVERED CAR PARTS.   A not so subtle joy rushing through him at her words alone,    laced with that determined certainty that told him she was used to getting what she wanted…  But when what she wanted was him with her   ( for whatever reason )   he could not bring himself to care.   Instead he found himself paused and smiling up at metal tubes and oiled gears like some love sick puppy.   Jesus wept, it’s exactly what you are.     “ And with you helpin’ me I’m sure I could pull it off. ”     His words are laced with a dreamy laughter but it’s joyful at the image not mocking what she is saying.   He does not let himself dream that it might ever happen but he is lonely here.   Not for romance  ( he’s a boy really, of SEVENTEEN, what sort of romance could be possibly have experienced to miss now? )    but missing any kind of connection with anyone. Isolated from the rest of the staff,  on the outside with his interests from them too,   it might be naive for him to entertain that this could be anything other than a professional relationship but right now it feels like it is. It feels like a connection that could counter a class divide that they both didn’t really believe in.  She was the most interesting person that he had ever met so he would take the risk,  even if it might come back to bite him.    “ I’ve never been to London—”  But then he’s never really been anywhere either.   “ —I wouldn’ mind goin’, that’s for sure. ”  He’s heard of museums and books and publications that are the envy of the world and he’d be lying if he said that there wasn’t the aspirational spark in him itching to see all of it.

𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙴𝚃𝙸𝙼𝙴𝚂 𝙸𝚃'𝚂 𝙴𝙰𝚂𝚈 𝚃𝙾 𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙶𝙴𝚃 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚈'𝚁𝙴 𝙵𝚁𝙾𝙼 𝙳𝙸𝙵𝙵𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙽𝚃 𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙻𝙳𝚂 ,     to   get   lost   in   the   idea   that   there   could   be   nothing   between   them  .     she   cannot   help   the   soft   noise   of   surprise   that   falls   from   her   lips   with   his   words  ,    the   gentle   oh!   that   comes   from   her   at   the   thought  .      HOW MUCH THERE COULD BE FOR HER TO SHOW HIM !       how   nice   it   would   be   to   be   the   one   who   knows   more   for   a   chance  ,     to   have   the   chance   to   broaden   his   existence   in   return  .            ❛ THEN YOU HAVE TO COME TO LONDON ! ❜             she   beams   over   at   him  ,     tone   showing   that   she   demands   it   so  ,     that   next   time   she   goes   to   london  ,     she   expects   him   to   be   there  .           ❛ i   could   show   you   the   museums   and   the   libraries   and   the   theatres   and   parks   and   everything   else  ! ❜             her   excitement   blooms   out   of   her  ,     bright   and   shining  ,     a   giddy   quality   in   her   tone   as   if   she   can   almost   imagine   it   now  .     there’s   rules   about   this   kind   of   behaviour  ,     about   this   closeness  ,     but   they   seem   not   to   exist   out   here   in   the   garage  .     those   kinds   of   rules   are   for   her   father’s   halls   and   ballrooms  ,    for   a   future   she   dreads   but   doesn’t   believe   she   can   escape  .     she   wants   freedom   more   than   anything  ,     and   perhaps   she   finds   that   out   here  .          ❛ next time . ❜           it’s   decisive  .     it’s   settled   falling   from   her   tone  ,     like   it   could   really   be   that   easy  .           ❛ you   should   come   next   time . ❜

sybil is rushed to hospital and has an emergency c - section, thus saving both her life and the life of her baby. because of the timings, she is kept unconscious for 5 + days to monitor progress and keep fitting from happening. after this, she wakes up and spends a further two weeks in the hospital in york, before being trusted back to downton’s care. sybil declares upon waking up that men name children after themselves all the time, and thus, sybbie branson is named.

sybil returns home with birth - trauma and post natal depression following the birth of her daughter, though - due to lack of understanding of the conditions, and a simple belief that she is still recovering - this isn’t noticed for another month. sybil feels widely disconnected from her husband and child, and cannot shake the feeling that she has let them down and they would be happier without her. she avoids touching the baby because she thinks her child would not recognise her, nor forgive her for missing those first crucial stages. this is noticed in conversation with ISOBEL who becomes one of the only people she’s being honest with and seems a plea for help as the woman is the only one who might understand or know what is happening. isobel recognises this as baby blues and raises the flag to tom.

it takes months of work, but sybil begins to reconcile with her role as a mother and understand that she wasn’t to blame and that both her husband and child want her there. this process speeds up significantly when tom and her decide to move away from downton and into one of the cottages on the estate three months after their daughter is born. away from the house, sybil truly feels more like herself and reconnects with her husband and child, taking confidence for the first time. as tom works, sybil spends most of her time with the baby and in the cottage, spoiled by her husband with as many books as she desires so she can continue her education.

three years after the birth of their daughter (1923), tom finds out he might be able to get his exile from ireland overturned. though he is initially worried about sybil’s reaction, she surprises him again by saying that of course they’d be going home and the matter is settled between them. they begin to look into the process together. sybil has spent the last years sending tom’s articles off to papers, looking for freelance work for him, knowing he won’t be happy with being the agent forever and unwilling to let his dream die.

when sybbie starts school (1924), sybil goes back to nursing, becoming the main breadwinner in the family and allowing tom to think more seriously about writing again. she works back at the downton hospital, and takes every course she can to better herself and make sure she’s getting the most out of it.

in february 1925, tom and sybil finally get what they’re waiting for, permission for him to return to ireland and their lives to get back on track. though they’re eager to leave, they wait until sybbie is finished with school for the year and they have a plan before they leave, eventually going in july, 1925.  though she doesn’t mention it to anyone, sybil falls pregnant in early july, deciding it would be better to wait until things are settled.

sybil tells tom about the pregnancy in late august, a month after she realises herself. she chooses to wait because of the move home, and not wanting it to be a stressful time for them. though they are both happy about the child, they do struggle with the risk to her, and sybil is forced to contend with the thought that they might not be so lucky.

declan is born by emergency c-section in february 1926, one month early. the next month follows in a whirlwind of the two of them trying to do what is best for their baby and keep him alive. he returns home with his mother three weeks after his birth and the happy three become four in their little home.

HIS HEART STUTTERS FROM THE INTENSITY OF IT ALL.     he had no way of knowing if the pink in his cheeks was from the heat of it, from her gaze and the kisses, or from revealing how under her spell he had always been.   Roughened hands hold her close, she’s warm and bright and real, and just holding her like this is almost like holding a star or the sun in his hands.  Bright and Hot   ( and with the possibility of getting burnt more than anywhere else —–but it’s a risk he’s always willing to take )           “ Sounds pathetic, doesn’ it?  but It’s been so long, it doesn’ take much. ”

𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙲𝙻𝙾𝚂𝙴𝙽𝙴𝚂𝚂 𝙸𝚂 𝙰 𝙳𝙴𝙼𝙰𝙽𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶 ,     pushing   her   further   into   his   arms   where   this   world   feels   most   settled  ,    where   she   knows   she   will   always   be   safe  .     it’s   a   dizzying   thing  ,      to   be   so   wanted  ,     to   know   the   power   she   holds  .           ❛ IT’S NOT PATHETIC . ❜          she   rewards   him   with   another   kiss  ,     the   press   of   their   lips   together   filling   her   with   a   happiness    she   had   never   imagined  .           ❛ it   feels   safe  . ❜           hadn’t   she   been   taught   there   was   something   wrong   with   this   wanting  ?     

THEY KNEW IT WASN’T GOING TO BE ALL PLAIN, CALM, SAILING.  Her family had shown that as had his mother’s letter before they had even left for Ireland.  That doesn’t mean he was proud of anyone in his family who even refused to try to get to know her.  Anyone who tried to make him CHOOSE only made him draw back to her more,  they had made their decision and he would never change his mind, and as she coaxes him back to her, back to calm, he knows his decision is the right one.    His grin turns conspiratorial and amused all at once.    “ I’ll teach you enough so you understand what they say in their shock just to shock them more.”       because them marrying,  for such different worlds, just wasn’t shock enough.

𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙻𝙳 𝙸𝚂 𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙸𝙴𝚁 𝚆𝙷𝙴𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚈 𝚃𝚆𝙾 𝙰𝚁𝙴 𝙲𝙻𝙾𝚂𝙴 ,      when   his   arms   come   around   her  ,     she   remembers   just   what   she’s   fighting   for  .     this   love   is   everything  ,     the   world   seems   only   to   shudder   for   it  ,      and   they   will   find   their   place   together  ,     as   it   should   be  .     she   keeps   her   hands   upon   him  ,     beckons   him   to   remembering   her   and   this   love   that   they   create   between   them  .          ❛ we’ll be unstoppable . ❜          they   are   unstoppable  .     there’s   nothing   in   this   world   that   could   stop   them   from   loving   each   other  ,      and   she   knows   that  ,      as   truly   as   she   knows   her   own   name  .          ❛ i   love   you  ,     the   rest   is   detail  ,     remember  ? ❜           just   like   he   said  ,      all   that   time   ago  .

HE STANDS THERE, OVERALLS OVER UNIFORM, SLEEVES ROLLED PAST HIS ELBOWS, FOREARMS DEEP IN OIL AND METAL.    Stands there and knows that he’s falling hard and fast for the girl who went out of her way constantly to know him and his world when no one else ever bothered.    He had never meant to come to England to fall in deep,  let alone for someone from a world that he disagrees with so completely but she is interested in his views and he thinks that her world stifles her as much as it restricts him,  he thinks that should she be allowed to spread her wings she’d explode into light and change the world with it.     It’s an addictive sort of personality to be around and he throws all caution to the wind as their friendship develops and as his dreams in turn morph into something soft and romantic and loving.   He had not meant to notice the daughter of the man he works for but he’s drawn to her and he cannot stop it……  After all, he believes that the different social classes are pointless and arbitrary, why would it ever stop him?

She speaks and instantly he’s listening,   looking up from hair that’s falling out of it’s pomade in the afternoon heat of the garage, his grin is haunted by a smirk at her words and their current situation is a prime example of one of those things.  They both know it.  A lady is not meant to sit in the garage of the chauffeur as he works and talk to him about his home.     He sees the world around him with a critical eye and an intelligent mind and he sees the ways in which it could change for the better, the ways that he wants to help it change for the better, but he talks to her and she shows him how her world is not always as black to his white as he used to think that it was  ——truth was he thrived off her questioning him, of him making him think and talk about his views.    A thrill, unbidden, rushes through him and he furiously ignores it but yet still manages to hold her gaze,    they could be a criticism, his next words, but they come out teasingly, devoid of any sting.   “ I thought we had established your rules are dangerous to your health.”

𝚂𝙷𝙴 𝙷𝙰𝚂 𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁 𝙱𝙴𝙴𝙽 𝙴𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙾𝚄𝚁𝙴𝙳 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙸𝙳𝙴𝙰 𝙾𝙵 𝙵𝚁𝙴𝙴𝙳𝙾𝙼 ;     an   old   desperate   longing   that   burns   untamed   within   her   chest  ,     threatening   to   set   fire   to   the   world   her   father   holds   dear  .     there   ones   was   a   girl   who   watched   from   a   distance   as   other   children   went   to   school  ,     longing   to   see   a   world   by   their   side  ,    to   know   the   games   they   played   without   worrying   for   skirts   that   trail   in   the   mud  .     she   sits   now  ,      still   finding   her   own   rebellion   when   she   can  .     imagine  ,     for   a   moment  ,     them   free   to   be   friends  ,      and   then   not   a   far   leap   to   girlish   fantasies   that   she   should   not   have  .     her   eyes   drawn   to   the   way   hair   falls  ,     wonders   for   a   moment   if   it   would   be   as   soft   to   touch   as   it   appears  ,     and   then   pushes   that   thought   back   from   her   mind  .     she   can’t   afford   to   waste   time   on   a   fantasy  .