₪ — His body can only tense up when he hears footsteps hurrying towards him, and for a minute it only tempts him to pick up his own pace. Whether it was to stop him or see him off, Luo Binghe could no longer tell. All he does know is that his emotions are slowly growing too unstable to stay, that he needs to find somewhere to hide until he is calm enough to think more properly.
But his brisk pace is halted when he feels his hand being tugged on, a signal that Shizun often used when hurrying to get his attention or, on the rare chance, simply wanting the contact. “ … I am as calm as I am going to be, Shizun. ” His voice comes out more emotionless than he first anticipated, and Binghe almost wants to wince at it. As upset as he’d been, he can’t help but feel relieved that Shizun had followed him this time.
“ What wouldn’t give me the idea, when you reject me every time I approach you? How else am I supposed to react, when you give me that same expression? ” It takes effort not to clench a fist when he remembers how Shizun was still holding onto his hand, instead relying on gritting his teeth to help him vent his own anger. “ You seemed all too happy to be mocking me, Shizun. Just like how the other disciples were… What else can I do but grow tired of this? ”
Didn’t mean to hurt him..? He almost wants to laugh at that, yet somehow Binghe bites it all back. It doesn’t cause him to turn around as he was asked, however. He can’t risk Shizun seeing him in that vulnerable state, the one he’d been trying to rid himself of for so long now. “ You say this, knowing that it still hurts…? ” There’s a pause, as if to contemplate his next words carefully, before he lets out a heavy, annoyed sigh and allows his gaze to fall on joined hands. “ Is it fun chasing you..? No, it isn’t. ”
🍃 — A landmine! He stumbled on a landmine! No! Even worse! He might as well have stepped on a giant bomb at this point! How is it he always seems to cause such problems from simple yet kindly intentions?!
🎋 Brows begin to furrow a crease soon appearing in between. What was he to do with this child?
The more he tries to expose them to something new, the more the other has a hard time rewriting what he’s experienced. It was hard not to feel regretful for his own actions. How could he not? He was not heartless. Just the type to leap before he properly thought of the outcome -- at least for most instances.
🎋 Sometimes he could only roll with the punches-- but there were times when he would step up and explain things properly.
His hand slipped away from Binghe’s, and he looked down to think. The sound of his fan closing could be heard as his hand folded behind his back.
“So even if I do not say so, I am mocking you? Even if I speak I mean well, I am seen of ill intent like back then?”
“I had once witnessed you and Ning YingYing play such a game. I had thought that it would make you happy if I did as such...”
“I suppose, since I am no child, I can not play a game of cat and mouse like my disciples do. It would seem rude if I were in your point of view.”
“...I do understand. For the past, It is not easily erased, but if you do not trust in your shizun, and I bring you discomforts, I suppose it would be best not to hold you any longer if you wish to be alone.”
Truth being, he was definitely cursing nonstop in his mind. He wasn’t sure what he was saying was right, or if he was just adding more fuel to the fire.
🎋 If binghe grew any more cross with him, he wasn’t sure if he could make it out alive! His heart really would explode at this rate! He was far too unsure of himself!
