And She Cannot Lie

[The video is played by one man playing three roles. The man has brown hair that kinda bobs above his head, a moderately thick mustache, and a thin beard that reaches from ear to ear. He is wearing a black t-shirt with a slight v-neck. When the man voices Shazam, he makes his voice sound noticeably younger and higher-pitched; when playing Superman and Batman, his voice is deeper and sounds likely to be his normal voice. When playing Batman, he tends to talk without the usual pause between sentences.]

Shazam: Okay, and you guys promise you’re not gonna freak out?

Superman: Shazam, I’ve died on more than one occasion. No matter what you show us, I’m not gonna freak out.

Batman: Yeah, and I’m like, the walking definition of trauma, so I think you’re good, man.

Shazam: Okay, I think I just need to- I think I just need to be honest with you guys.

Superman: Honest how?

Batman: I’m Batman, I know everything, no matter what you say, it’s not going to surprise me.

Shazam: Okay… SHAZAM.

[stereotypical lightning noises]

Shazam: My, uh… my real name’s Billy Batson and I’m eleven years old.

[stunned silence from Superman and Batman]

Batman: [clicks tongue] Would you believe me if I told you I knew that?

Superman: Seeing as you haven’t tried to adopt him yet, no.

Batman: That is… an amazing point, actually, say, how many parents have you got?

Superman: [sounding offended] BRUCE!

Shazam: Actually, I’m an orphan.

Batman: DIBS, I call dibs, where’s the Bat-phone?

Superman: You’re not taking another Robin!

Batman: I’m sorry, do you want him?

Superman: That’s not an excuse.

Batman: [extra emphasis on each word] Do You Want Him?

Shazam: I’m very confused. What’s happening right now-?

Batman: I’m not hearing a yes and I called dibs and I’m improving your situation, kid, Alfred, call the guy!

Superman: Put the fucking phone dow- Who did this to you, Billy?

Shazam: Uhh, some old dude in a cave.

Batman: See, he has an old guy in a cave too! And he has the red and he has the black hair, he’s practically already a Robin!

Way less bashing of canon female love interests in order to hook up two male characters - some of that is the advent of the OT3 as a solution to love triangles, but it’s just as common to have the canon couple break up amicably and realistically, or simply tweak things so that they were never a couple, but still like and respect one another as friends

The rise of the reader insert fic, which I’m convinced has taken the pressure off to create an OC for people who really just want to write self-insert fantasy, thereby letting them do what they actually want and (hopefully) helping to lessen the stigma around OCs for those who really want to create OCs

Linked to that, a decrease in the amount that the accusation “Mary Sue!” gets flung around, and intelligent criticism of how gendered the whole “Mary Sue” concept has ended up

Less pressure to “explain” how a character could end up with a character of the same gender in fic, when they’ve always been paired with other-gender characters in canon

A decline in the popularity of extensively mocking/dragging individual fics for bad or inexpert writing (such as through writing MSTs in response where the canon characters read and reacted to the fic), which, looking back, was a pretty shitty thing to do to writers just starting out

Much less likelihood of getting virulently homophobic comments on any given slashfic (”My poor [favourite character] isn’t GAY, how dare you!”)

And, of course, the shining glory that is AO3, an all-inclusive single archive that’s actually run and controlled by fans, meaning no hours spent paging through webrings to find one author who has four fics of that pairing you love and then reading them over and over for months, and no chance of waking up tomorrow to find all your fic purged because some internet company got a pissy letter

look ma, it’s a good old-fashioned sketch dump!

Visenna: I don’t think we have time for this

You can’t see shit.

So when the Jedi are going all swooshy swoosh with their lightsabers with their hoods over their heads they’re relying on the force to be aware of there surroundings because the can’t actually see.

They’re using the force to be extra and dramatic af while they slicey slice their opponents. And Luke Skywalker with his Chanel Boots is no exception. He is the prime example.

In the temple that is literally what they teach their younglings. To sense their surroundings in the Force without actually seeing it. Here in Attack of the Clones:

They really start them off young to teach them in their How To Be Dramatic 101 class. Today’s lesson is how to deflect a blast without looking. Next week we will be tackling the Dramatic Robe Drop™ with special guest teacher and Dramatic Robe Drop™ master, Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Speaking of that extra bitch what was the first lesson Old Ben taught innocent young Luke?

The same fucking lesson.

Of course the dramatic bitch himself who trained Anakin fuckin Skywalker would think that the first lesson that the son of both Anakin and Padmé would need to learn is how to be deflect blaster shots without looking so he can look badass with a hood on. Yess it is vital for him to know. The fate of the galaxy depends on it.

Like look how innocent farmboy Luke who has to help out at the farm tomorrow went from this:

Then trained with Obi-Wan and Yoda and became

CHANEL BOOTS LUKE with fashion sense

We can assume that the Jedi learn this at a young age for the same reason. That is why jedi in the prequels can do impossible feats like deflect multiple blaster bolts. Relying on the force to guide them and sense when and where the next shot will come.

That’s how the jedi in the Clone Wars were able to to rush the front lines and come out more or less alive. And that’s how Luke cut through all those dark troopers like it was nothing.

The post above is just my comedic, crack take on the matter. Nothing new. You’ll find that Luke and prequel Jedi are all drama queens with their hoods, swooshy cloaks, and their extravagant acrobatics and lightsaber twirls. And Chanel Boots Luke™

Ben Grimm, Kitty Pryde, Magneto, Polaris, Legion, Doc Samson Marc Spector, Gert, Billy Kaplan, Tommy Sheperd, Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver, Vance Astrovik, Kate Kane, Ray Palmer, Ragman, Firestorm, Colossal Boy have all been confirmed Jewish in canon. Please don’t put them in xmas stuff. 

Hal Jordan, Harley Quinn and Iceman are canonically from interfaith households so while there’s nothing wrong with drawing them in xmas stuff please do not forget and erase their Jewish heritage. 

And while they’re not comic book characters the Pines family from Gravity Falls are also Jewish so please be respectful

And the same goes for Muslim characters like Soorya, Monet, Kamala Khan and Simon Baz.