Caught in the Moment

girls will start getting settled for sleep like "wow i'm getting to bed early tonight" and it's 3am

i think one of the most important things you learn about making connections with others is that a significant portion of the time people just do not know theyre doing what theyre doing

sometimes someone is acting selfish because they just didnt think you had any interest in what theyre hogging. sometimes you dont get invited to the movies because your friend could have sworn that you said no. sometimes you think someone is mad at you because theyre bad at hiding how little sleep they got. we are all like little worlds that briefly crash into one another from time to time and we just arent physically capable of seeing the whole picture at once in those moments. and learning that really changed everything!

idk what 14 year old needs to hear this but that 18+ year old does not love you

idk what 18 year old needs to hear this but that 25+ year old does not love you

Idk what 25- year old needs to hear this but Leonardo Di Carprio does not love you

damn… the old cunt finally kicked it…. alexa, play another one bites the dust by… well. i shan’t say

Told my dad that joke and he laughed which is very impressive because hes the real life human version of Spock

Elon Musk took me into the back of a Musk brand department store where I was sure he was going to kill me for shoplifting but instead he took me to this gungy room with a dirty mattress on the floor and told me he could only fall asleep if someone rubbed his belly like a puppy. And he expected me to do it.

Imagine Adam and Ruby having trashy reality tv marathons together, absolutely not talking about the dweebs who broke their hearts, while their dogs play together on the floor in front of the tv