One of the most annoying things in the world is when it is raining just slow enough that the slowest setting on your windshield wipers makes a loud squeaking noise, but just fast enough that you need them.

He’s done is again.

honestly, i can’t stand y'all 😂😂😂😂😂

Going on your phone and forgetting what app you were going to open is the the new equivalent of going into a room and forgetting why you went in.

why do people say “don’t be a pussy” when talking about weakness more like “don’t be a man’s ego” because you know there isn’t nothing more fragile than that

literally no one else knows this. nobody. 

WHAT

Sensational.

Remarkable.

Fuck. I didn’t get it until the comment

i expect ill be able to solve a lot of my problems once my baby brain falls out & my adult brain grows in

Dog food could say it’s any flavor it wants, you’re not gonna test it.

a baby can be born right now at 12:00, on a wednesday, august 24 in new jersey while another baby is also born in the exact same moment but they are born 9:00, on a tuesday, august 23 in california, these babies that are born at the same moment are technically because of time zones, a concept that we created ourselves, born “hours” apart even though really they are born at the same moment just not the same “time”, one will be considered older even though in actuality they are the same

Wtf