HIRAYA

You see, I am now 20 years old; working as a graphic artist for a huge company. What do I do? Take pictures of products and models and edit them for an e-commerce site. I know it’s kinda early for me to feel this at my age, but whenever I see or hear people striving for what they really love to do and they get better at it, my ego feels like it’s been stepped on then left compressed. I am not broken nor feeling shattered. I am still whole. Whole, immature and I lack inspiration. I have passed too much opportunities because of my stubbornness. Whenever an opportunity knocks, I always wait for it to stop knocking—thinking that maybe this is not the time yet to open the door. But what the hell right?! Who the hell waits for someone knocking to come back and knock again? Maybe this whole timing shit i’ve been believing won’t really work for me. Or maybe yes? How will I know?

It’s my first time in Baguio and I’ve been really looking forward to this trip. Stayed there for 5 days and 4 nights with my friends; went to tourist spots there, but most importantly, lived there as if it was my hometown. One of the things I consider when travelling to a new place is knowing the place not in the point of view of a tourist, but in the pov of a local. I took pictures of the tourist spots there such as the Mansion, Mines View, Camp John Hay, etc.,  but I know everyone already knows how it looks like or you can just google it. So for a change, here are some of my shots from the everyday life in Baguio.

(Another It’s Okay It’s Love appreciation post. Well, kind of. Listen to the song after reading this entry.)

Thank you to everyone who’s been with me all through out my school years since nursery to college. Thank you to my parents who worked their asses off just to make sure we’ll have comfortable environment while studying; and for giving us more than enough of what we need to make us strive and study harder. Thank you for believing in me—even though me myself wasn’t even sure of what I should do and what course I mindlessly took when I entered college. Thank you for supporting me emotionally, physically and emotionally! I hope I made you proud!

Thank you to all my friends, classmates, blockmates and schoolmates! Without you guys, I won’t even know how to socialize and communicate with others. Thank you for teaching me how to be street-smart and for molding me for who I am now. Thank you to all my teachers and professors! Thank you to all the tricycle and jeepney drivers who safely drove me to school (even though some almost killed me with heart-attack). And lastly, thank You Lord for your guidance; for guiding me and for leading me on the right way. Thank you so much for keeping me safe! If not for you, I wouldn’t have stepped on the stage and shook the hands of our dean and regent!

Thank you so much to all my alma mater—St. Vincent School, Trinity University of Asia and University of Santo Tomas!

It's okay it's love is my number one favorite drama and the one that has the biggest impact in my life. Here are the reasons why:

1. It portrays realistic experiences in life—in terms of self, family, work and love. Each of us have our own flaws. Some may have it invisible because of their appearance. But just like the characters in IOIL, no matter how strong you look, there’ll always be a fragile part in you. Every character are perfect in their own imperfections.

2. Patience and love. I’ve always been a fan of romance stories of two people who doesn’t rush things and/or two people who are sweet in their own ways for they are who they are. Just like the leads in the drama, those two showed patience (of course not in terms of the relationship itself but rather with each other). I’m a believer of having a relationship before knowing someone, too, and I admire how the leads discover things about each other but they never judged and just accepted them for who they really are.

3. Family. This drama is so fucked up and my heart’s about to burst with every revelation of every episode. The family conflict’s a bit unrealistic for me but who knows, someone might be experiencing those right? But nevertheless, the drama depicts realistic problems about siblings like favoritism. Though being the youngest—some may think that we are just being the “favorite” or sometimes spoiled sibling—we feel responsible for our parents just like Jo In Sung’s role. But just like his Hyung’s role, we can’t blame him for thinking its unfair. Some families may be vocal with what they feel with each other but most do not that leads them to hiding their feelings and inappropriate actions.

4. Friends. Ugh. Friendship goals!! I think their friendship really suits me. They’re not the clingy type, nor the distant type. They respect each other’s decisions, help each other, support each other, they heal each other’s wounds, and they love each other. They might go over their lines, but they do that for your own good. Really loved the part when Kwang Soo went to Jo In Sung to check him for Gong Hyo Jin without her telling him to do so.

5. Psychology/Psychiatry. Rather than other psychological disorders that are in other dramas, the disorders in this drama are somewhat relatable to many and I think that there are a lot of people who have it. I think that people are going through hardships but doesn’t show them to others. Jo In Sung’s role here made me realize that not all people who look normal are really normal. Not that i’m judging people with their faces. What i’m saying is that even people who we don’t think have problems might have bigger problems than ours. It somewhat affected my career choice. Haha! I’m actually thinking of taking Psychology as my second degree.

6. Soundtrack. This drama’s soundtrack led me to typing this entry. It’s been about 6 months since the drama has ended but here I am, still shedding tears upon hearing songs like Hero by Family of the Year.

A lot of my friends were still asking me why we broke up. And up until now, I still can't find the exact words to explain. So this will be me, gathering all the words that my heart wants to tell but can't. And there's this writer who came all of a sudden, acting as if I've told her how I felt—putting all my feelings into words.

(Disclaimer: The following are from this article http://www.cosmo.ph/sex-relationships/dating-tips/to-the-man-i-loved-and-left which I can relate so much that I had to post it in my blog.)

I’d like to believe we met at the right time. You were someone I looked up to for being smart and extremely talented, and you inspired me to go beyond expectations. You also encouraged me to pursue my ambitions and try out other things. You were very supportive. I needed you that time a few years ago when I was still discovering myself and was very eager to excel in anything and everything. I also put a lot of pressure on myself, and you did your best to keep me calm. You always believed that I could succeed because I always have.

But I think we got together at the wrong time. You must have thought of that, too. I was immature and destructive. I wanted to get things when I wanted them—which is to say NOW! I was brimming with angst. I was negative and easily frustrated about the little things.

I also think we’re just better off as friends—not that I regret ever being with you, because I don’t at all. You’re pretty great to talk to. I think I can comfortably open up to you now that we’re not together; nothing’s at stake. We also like the same things; we find the same things cool, pretty, or ugly. We still know each other well. We both know you’re not the affectionate type (but you can be really sweet) and that I want to be with someone who is.

Breaking up with you was difficult. Even if we had tons of fights when we were together, had loads of misunderstandings, and bouts of frustrations, we held on because we loved each other and wanted to keep at it. I believe that. But I had to end our relationship. There was just too much strain. You know this; you felt this. We were dragging each other along, and it was unhealthy.

I was also someone who couldn’t be what you wanted. You wanted me to be happy and silly, but I couldn’t be anything other than serious at the time. I felt the pressure, and the more I tried to be lighthearted, the more I was boiling inside.

I used to want to be sorry for ending us. But I found that it was for the best, because you deserve someone who will choose you every day. You also deserve someone who makes you happy, like being happy were the easiest and most natural thing in the world. (Although I am sorry for being such a bitch when we were together.)

Aside from working on my thesis, I've been into K-Varieties and Dramas lately (and when I say lately, I meant since 2013 up to present). This addiction started when I discovered I can watch all Korean related shows thru iPad—its the best gadget to watch dramas and K-shows especially when you're on your bed!

Anyway, back to the topic. I'm a realistic type of person. I'm not really a fan of science fictions whether its a book, movie or series. If you are a realistic-story lover like me, watch these four Korean Dramas I recommend.

4. Marriage, Not Dating

This drama shows what a real relationship goes through especially when the leads were hiding things so much that they barely talk to each other. 

3. Emergency Couple

To be honest, one of the reason this is on my list is because I really love the two actors—Choi Min Hyuk and Song Ji Hyo. While watching this drama, I really wanted to be a doctor. (I have this tendency to be so into the Drama I am watching) This Drama shows reality in the part when Oh Jin Hee struggles so much just to pass her Medical Licensure Exam. I was really happy when she successfully does things on her own because I can relate to her struggles.

2. Discovery of Romance

I think this is also qualified for the number one spot. Haha. This Drama shows how a relationship starts and ends realistically. (You can say its realistic when it has happened to you) 

I can fully relate how the Girl's first relationship started so nice, so warm, and so sweet but as their relationship gets longer, there is this sudden coldness and too comfortable feeling. But that's what really happening in reality right? I also love the twists in this story. And I really hate the other girl so much though I understand what the present boyfriend does. 

Anyway I watched this drama twice and still laugh and get angry for some scenes. Haha!

1. It's Okay, It's Love

This drama is such a masterpiece. That's why even though I really love Discovery of Romance, this would still be my number one.

This drama evolves in Psychiatry. I commend you to watch each scenes carefully from the first episode up to the last because you don't know when those scenes will be related to the present scene. 

The characters in this drama were so perfect in their own imperfection. Combining it with the cast's outstanding realistic acting, and badass sound track, the story will make you laugh and cry and will always leave your heart heavy.  I also love how the lead female shows strong and straight forward personality unlike those cutesy leads on other dramas but still shows weakness at right times. You'll be surprised by the unexpected twists and turns of every episode. (I even watched the update thrice in a week while waiting for another update)

I really loved the song Hero by Family of the Year in this drama. The producers did a great job in looking for a song that fits this drama well. 

Just watch it to know what I am talking about. I might spoil you if I keep on writing. 😂